Twat Twine profile picture

Twat Twine

I am here for Friends

About Me

You know whats gay? When you delete pretty much every section of your profile coz its been the same for ages - but then cant't be bothered to fill it all back in again coz you remembered just how long this crap takes?! People only ever look at pictures anyway.. or maybe thats just me? BUT for those people who DO bother to read... I'm a vain (ex-fatty)lazy stoner who probably thinks you suck unless i talk to you! I LOVE judging those books by their covers... I straight up love steak, probably more than the average person, dont ask why tho - Its just good! My Goal in life is to have the best dvd collection on earth, sad i know - but most worthwhile i feel... I babble about shit a lot, only child - Gotta amuse yourself somehow!! I can handle my drink better than ANYONE i know - challenge me and i promise i'll win! I have the worst temper on earth ... really. (ask my long suffering friends family and b/f - i'm appaling haha) I recently aquired a brand new Thai *Mum and Brother* who speak very little english... I hate them. End.
This profile was edited with myprofilestuff.com Editor

My Interests

80s movies, stupid cartoons, stupid movies, shouting at old people from speeding cars...smoking, dancing - i love a good jiggle....pool, singing - makes me TOO happy...Tattoos, painting (badly)...Buying things from the tip.. The Sims - its like my own tiny world where i'm a harsh but fair god...Candles - honestly couldnt tell you why.

I'd like to meet:

Fellow Ranters (some say were moaners...but i disagree..)...Anyone i havnt seen in ages since i'm crap at keeping in touch...Anyone who considers themselves as funny...but in a grotty way! (ie: if you find humour in dogs throwing up, serious injury etc - you might just float my proverbial boat) and of course hotties... general hotties! (or Very funny Ugos...)Your results:
You are Catwoman Catwoman 75% Supergirl 67% Superman 65% Spider-Man 65% Wonder Woman 62% Hulk 60% Green Lantern 60% Iron Man 50% Robin 42% Batman 40% The Flash 40% You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Music:

Pretty much any music from any time and in any style............ In no particular order...Atmosphere. The Hush Sound, The Delays, Journey, Snake River Conspiracy, 311, Flyleaf, Coheed and Cambria, Fall Out Boy, Mae, Hoobastank, Snowpatrol, Atmosphere, Fleetwood Mac, Head Automatica, My Chemical Romance, The Scene Aesthetic, Athlete, Yellowcard, NIN, Theory of a Deadman, Pitchshifter, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is..,Linkin Park, Lifehouse, Hard-Fi, No Doubt, Pixies, Sage Francis, Jamiroquai, Sublime, Theory of a Deadman, Sunna, Head Automatica Stone Temple Pilots, Editors, Cibo Matto, Melissa Auf De Maur, Lost Prophets, Fear Factory, Del Amitri, The Shins, Lit, Bush, The Cure, Revis, Jarrasic 5, Feeder, The Eagles, Michael Jackson, Aerosmith, i'm bored of listing stuff now....you get the idea.

Movies:

Harry Potter, Mallrats, Clerks, Back To the Future 1 and 2(3rd one sucked hard) The Frighteners (genius!), Napolean Dynamite, Cable Guy, BASEketball, Garden State, City of Angels, The truth about cats and dogs, 40 year old virgin, Amelie, Mannequin, Thirteen Ghosts, Idle Hands, Scrooged,

Television:

Jam, Brass Eye, Scrubs, The Mighty Boosh, Big Train, Green Wing, King of the Hill, Futurama, Family Guy, Black Books, Spaced, CKY, Simpsons, X-Men Evolution, Ren and Stimpy, Beavis and Butthead, Daria, League of Gentlemen, Third Rock, My Name is Earl, Buffy, Angel, X-Files....

Books:

Although i read a lot there aren't that many books i would place as a favorite... I like Anne Rice coz she writes slutty shit about vampires which i have a strange fetish for?!? A book called The Game - thats a good un if you wanna be a HOE....

Heroes:

I've never really had one, coz it seems kinda weird and pointless...so my mum i figure...coz she pretty much rules.

My Blog

Worst finger ever.....

Fuck me.... the most painful thing on earth is definatly slamming your finger in a door!!! Yesterday i slammed my pointer finger in the door of my boyfriends car... and now its all fat and shiney (co...
Posted by Twat Twine on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 05:20:00 PST

Fat Eyes

So i wake up this morning after about 1 hour of sleep to find i have big fat eyes!! What the fuck is that about? All swollen like one of those dicks with the *my hair dye nearly killed me!* stories in...
Posted by Twat Twine on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 06:18:00 PST

Very little to do.......

Name:Shelley Michelle McLaren Single or Taken:TakenHappy about that:YupEye color:Green Shoe size:7 or 8 depending on the shoeeeeeeeeeeeHeight:5'8What are you wearing right now?Green and white spotty t...
Posted by Twat Twine on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 08:01:00 PST

Blind people...

Do they go online and if so... How???? I'm SOOO putting out a bulletin on this one coz i actually wanna know!
Posted by Twat Twine on Mon, 11 Sep 2006 11:07:00 PST

Organisation stations...

To begin with, being a jobless bum was kinda scary..... no money...everyone working while i'm sat at home on my fat arse... BUT.... as crazy as it seems i'm actually getting the most stuff done that i...
Posted by Twat Twine on Mon, 11 Sep 2006 04:46:00 PST

My favorite subject is me..

1. name: Shelley 2. middle name: Michelle 3. status: avec4. place of birth: Southampton5. zodiac sign: Libra6. male or female: Female (where are 7 and 8!)9. occupation: none!10. initials: sm...
Posted by Twat Twine on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 08:17:00 PST

Car Booty Baby.....

...........so less of the excitement the title gives.... but yes, today i'm using my precious free time.. (yeah right) to remove everything that we've collected over the last 20 year from the attic! S...
Posted by Twat Twine on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 03:43:00 PST

Jobless update..

Still loving being unemployed. Minimal money, but no getting up at 6.00am!
Posted by Twat Twine on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 08:03:00 PST

Fruit is not for the faint hearted..

You would think that there is almost no possible way that fruit is dangerous... well thats just not true! I cut myself....painfully i might add... on FRUIT! A fucking coconut to be exact. and it wasn...
Posted by Twat Twine on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 04:13:00 PST

Comets....................are GREAT

    Not the stars, but the chain store. My big ugly mp3 player broke a few weeks ago, it just stopped. Frozen one second and nothing the next. Total wank.      SO i...
Posted by Twat Twine on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 08:33:00 PST