Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking,
talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own
brains and instincts, hence, grappling with hard work. It means that you do not
treat your body as a commodity with which to purchase superficial intimacy or
economic security; for our bodies and minds are inseparable in this life,
and when we allow our bodies to be treated as objects, our minds are in
mortal danger. It means insisting that those whom you give your friendship
and love are able to respect your mind. It means being able to say, with
Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre: " I have an inward treasure born with me,
which can keep me alive if all the extraneous delights should be withheld or
offered only at a price I cannot afford to give." Responsibility to yourself means
that you don't fall for shallow and easy solutions- predigested books and ideas,
weekend encounters guaranteed to change your life, taking "gut" courses
instead of ones you know will challenge you, bluffing at school and life instead
of doing solid work, marrying early as an escape from real decisions, getting
pregnant as an evasion of already existing problems. It means that you
refuse to sell your talents and aspirations short, simply to avoid conflict and
confrontation. And this, in turn means resisting the forces in society which say
that women should be nice, play safe, have low professional expectations,
drown in love and forget about work, live through others, and stay in the
places assigned to us. It means that we insist on a life of meaningful work,
insist that work be as meaningful as love and friendship in our lives. It means,
therefore, the courage to be "different"; not to be continuously available to
others when we need time for ourselves, and our work; to be able to demand
of others- parents, friends, roommates, teachers, lovers, husbands, children-
that they respect our sense of purpose and our integrity as persons. Once we
begin to feel committed to our lives, responsible to ourselves, we can never
again be satisfied with the old, passive way.

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