Pickled Tampons profile picture

Pickled Tampons

Gave all the vampires back to God

About Me


I spend a lot of time downloading music; creating an arsenal of Gmail addresses, the names of which make people squirm and think even less of me than in previous encounters; putting the window down in the car wash; lamenting my bleak future; contemplating signing up for yodeling classes; updating various journals, one of which can be found here: All Hail, Vagynafondue .
I'm sure you're dying to see pitcures of my fabulous life and I'm here to tell you that all of your dreams will be granted if you go here . Maybe you can print a few out for your photo album and tell everyone I'm your BFF. I won't have a problem with that.
Starting at the spry age of 10, I've been birthing babies as a profession. Mostly they're sold for scientific research purposes (Rogaine has made major headway with all the domes I've provided), some extra cash via the black market, and high end briefcases. I kept the one I produced in 2006 though, because he was kind of cute.
As a side venture, I had my stomach flesh, stretched and abused by the fifty-plus fetuses (some were duplicates!), surgically removed and fashioned into a large parachute now enjoyed by a gym class in Idaho. It makes me smile to know that my freckled flesh is providing such joy for a class full of youngsters. I wonder if any of them are my products?
Let's be friends and make daisy chains and skip through open fields together. Save me from my ennui.
Or you can just suck a dick. Whatever.
Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade
somnambulant.etsy.com

My Interests

Writing, sarcasm, going to concerts, weird movies that make me feel...well, weird, abusing my boyfriend, achieving auto-annoyance, uncooked tortellini, using my finger nails as chopsticks (except when I cut them and then they're too short and it reminds me of how bad life sucks), traveling, cemeteries, cataloguing my CDs (I'm maniacal over them), haunted houses, Halloween, autumn, locking the car door before the boyfriend, serial killers, expressing inappropriate sentiments loudly and in public, hating, shit-talking, making mixed CDs, downloading music like a bad girl, amusement parks, embroiling myself in solo dance parties, kickball, rollerskating, entertaining my cats and anyone else who will stick around, cheese, Nutella, Morocco, journaling, going on drives with friends who are not annoying to me, watching the religious channel with faux intent, applying anthropomorphism to things around the house such as the toilet so it can write notes to the boyfriend about needing cleaned, energy drinks!!!

I'd like to meet:


As long as you can breathe, and talk without the help of a translator, look me up!
Also, I'd be interested in meeting people who can peel an orange without breaking the rind.

Music:

The Cure, Cold, A Perfect Circle, The Decemberists, Tool, Jeer At Rome, Audience of One, Anthony Green, The Flir, Death Cab For Cutie, My Chemical Romance, Minus the Bear, Metric, The Good Life, Cursive, Now It's Overhead, Bright Eyes, Q and Not U, !!!, Sound of Animals Fighting, Chiodos, Paramore, Blacklab, Ambry, Emanuel, Tears For Fears, New Order, Gary Numan, Sigur Ros, Volcano I'm Still Excited, Depeche Mode, B Machine, Cosmicity, Still LIfe Projector, Perfidious Words, Elliott Smith, Steve Tannen, Civilization, Sunny Day Real Estate, Engine Driver, Blonde Redhead, Rilo Kiley, Fall Out Boy, My American Heart, Panic! At the Disco, Panoply Academy, Armor For Sleep, Jim Yoshii Pile Up, Momus, Mogwai, The Used, From First To Last, Open Hand, Mae, The Evan Anthem, Acceptance, Ley Royal Scam, Bleed the Dream, Talk Talk, New Order, Bear Vs Shark, As Tall As Lions, Rainer Maria, Starflyer59, Copeland, Circa Survive, Pinback, Juno, Kind of Like Spitting, mewithoutyou, Emery, The Sound of Animals Fighting, Animal Collective, Railer, Placebo, the Dismemberment Plan, Travis Morrison, Xiu Xiu, the Notwist, Deerhoof, the Tea Party, Pink Floyd, Receiving End of Sirens, Thursday, Taking Back Sunday, Finch, Supersystem, Blood Brothers, onelinedrawing, Far, Orange Island, Fiery Furnaces, the Gloria Record, Umbrellas, Team Sleep, Saosin, the Felix Culpa, Dora Maar, Faith No More, Mike Patton, Dredg, Collide, Tapping the Vein, Apoptygma Berzerk, VNV Nation, the Nine, Color Theory, Faith Assembly, This Beautiful Mess, the Faint, VHS or Beta, the Static Age, the Spill Canvas, Vex Red, Mars Volta, ATDI, Gatsby's American Dream, synthpop, industrial, alternative, indie rock, trip hop, hard core, post hard core, everything. I'm serious, everything.

Movies:

If it has Dario Argento's name on it, I'll watch it. I'm all about horror movies, independent flicks, film noir. Favorite: Asian horror!

Television:

The O.C., The L Word, FitTV

Books:

Anything by Peter Straub and Harlan Coben.

Heroes:

Robert Smith, my cat Marcy, Michael Ian Black, Scooter Ward

My Blog

I stayed home from work tonight

For the first time ever, I have the perfect day planned out for July 30. Me, a few hundred of my closest bones, and a cupcake. It will be all that I deserve.
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 07:15:00 PST

Just in case

I think a maple one would be nice. With deep purple satin.
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 05:05:00 PST

don't be a douche

Hey guys, I'm doing this 24-hour blogging for charity thing called Blogathon, and all proceeds will go to the Spinal Muscular Atrophy Foundation. I did it last year too, with unexpected support and su...
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 05:26:00 PST

987654321

I was watching the Sound of Animals Fighting DVD and it was just SO MOVING that I started crying like an asshole in front of my kid, who in turn looked at me quizzically, probably thinking, "WTF, no o...
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 09:44:00 PST

Wind me up

Sometimes I want to bang when everyone else wants to bong.
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 10:15:00 PST

shuttlecock

Sometimes I come to my profile to remember what bands I like. Thank god for MySpace, amirite?
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Thu, 31 May 2007 07:22:00 PST

What to do when you're bored at work

Make one of those gay friend tests.    Retarded Friend Test
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 09:46:00 PST

For my non-LJ friends

Some of you asked me for pictures of the babe a long time ago, and I am a lazy asshole. I'm sorry! Here are some for your viewing pleasure. OK, the end....
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 08:40:00 PST

Long time no bloggie

I thought that maybe signing up for Blogathon would be a good chance for me to balance out my Karma by doing something charitable. Basically, I'll be required to spam Live Journal ...
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 10:55:00 PST

Riley has given me a rare break

So my last entry was for "preferred readers" but MySpace is retarded and I can't figure out how to add everyone I want because it keeps saying that you guys "aren't found" on MySpace. Fuck you, MySpac...
Posted by Pickled Tampons on Thu, 11 May 2006 09:38:00 PST