Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. profile picture

Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie.

Ann Coulter is, to date, the most perfect example of a cunt that I have ever had the displeasure of

About Me

I'm a fat guy with too much charisma and quick wit. I don't make enough money and I for damn sure can't bring myself to let that stop me from taking over the world. I live with my two wonderful girls, Danielle and Eleanor, that I care about more than anything in this world. Music is another pretty big part of my life. I make posters for bands, I play in a couple musical outfits. Confused Little Girl is my main band. Check it out sometime, it's good I promise. Travelling is the shit. Being on tour is pretty sweet, too. I've robbed a hooker. That makes me cooler than you."If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is." -Charles Bukowski

My Interests

Music. The amazing combination of Peanut Butter and Chocolate. It took me a few tries to write peanut butter and chocolate cause I kept trying to write butner. Bands. Internet stuff. Rock Art Posters. Farting on people's bellies. My girlfriend can play jingle bells making the farty noises on my arm. Making fun of pop culture. Self Loathing.

I'd like to meet:

I want to meet a swahili male prostitute with an elongated neck and a cum catching dinner bowl in his bottom lip. Then I want to meet a swahili translater. Then I want to pay the translater to translate me propositioning the swahili male prostitute with an elongated neck for deep throating supremacy and a cum catching dinner bowl in his bottom lip.That'd be good times.

Music:

Alkaline Trio, Iron and Wine, Pantera, Clutch, Corrosion of Conformity, Strung out, Tom Waits, The Weakerthans, Bob Dylan, Queens of the Stone Age, Helmet, Foo Fighters, Primus, Jimmie's Chicken Shack, The Get Up Kids, The Living End, Unknown Hinson, The Cure, Down, Tomahawk, Mr. Bungle, Faith No More, Fantomas, The Spitvalves, Dillinger Escape Plan, Mastodon, Jimes, Skindred, One Minute Silence, Engine Down, Johnny Cash, glassjaw, kiss, the clash, the white stripes, rage against the machine, deftones, failure, year of the rabbit, Frank Sinatra, Norah Jones, scissorfight, stone temple pilots, ac/dc, black sabbath, molly hatchet, butch walker, marvelous 3, burning airlines, all, the bouncing souls, sleepytime gorilla museum, willie nelson, kaki king, the beatles, the beach boys, sixty watt shaman, prince, morris day and the time, sly and the family stone, Tenacious D, The Police, Merle Haggard, Charlie Daniels, Simon and Garfunkel, Lamb of God, Job for a Cowboy, Goldfinger, Motorhead, Probot, The Bronx, King Crimson, Against Me!, Bonnie Prince Billy, Flogging Molly, Tom Petty, Over the Rhine, Dan Potthast, At the Drive-in, Violent Femmes, Thursday, there's a shit ton more and I really tried to come up with a lot but fuck if I can.

Movies:

Dogma, Walk the Line, The Boondock Saints, Serenity, The Muppets take Manhattan, Labyrinth, The Hills have Eyes(both), Night of The Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead(both), Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, The Fog(the original), Creepshow, Demon Knight, Zoolander, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Big Kahuna, The Spanish Prisoner, The Big Lebowski, Training Day, The Manchurian Candidate(both), Singing in the Rain, A Clockwork Orange, The Secret Window, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins, Memento, Million Dollar Baby, A Perfect World, Insomnia, Mallrats, Clerks 1&2, Pulp Fiction, Get Shorty, Be Cool, Napolean Dynamite, Tombstone, The Salton Sea, Maximum Overdrive

Television:

Family Guy, Mr. Show with Bob and David, Wonder Showzen, The Venture Bros., Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Perfect Hair Forever, Dane Cook's Tourgasm, Project Runway, Celebrity Poker Showdown, Entourage, Late Night with Conan, Lucky Louie, Tenacious D

Books:

I been mostly reading business books so I can start my own record label properly. yep.

Heroes:

Doc Holiday, Johnny Cash, Mike Patton, Lemmy, um...those are more just guys I look up to than heroes, but it'll have to do I reckon.

My Blog

Got a lot of bills to pay...SELLING A LOT OF STUFF!!

I'm looking to unload this stuff TODAY. First people to come to me with cash get it. Shure SH55 II Elvis Mic - $75 Line6 DL4 Delay/Looper pedal - $100 Electro Harmonix Octave Multiplexor - $50 Visual ...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:46:00 PST

I am so much cooler than you...

So last night was pretty much the greatest night of my life. Danielle has officially earned 4 gazillion awesome points and I think I owe her a bigger diamond at this point. She won tickets to the Quee...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 06:59:00 PST

I love my family...

So today has been one of the best days ever. Danielle won tickets to the QOTSA show tomorrow AND we get to see their soundcheck. She is awesome. She did that just for me. Plus, my dad bought me a Paul...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 07:42:00 PST

An ever elusive feeling of progress(what a fucking sissy ass emo title for a blog)

As I wade through countless websites, trying to figure out new distribution deals, land a booking agent, figure out what our new guarantee should be, put together album packaging, etc...I can't help b...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 06:43:00 PST

Recap....

So last night, in front of 1,067 people at House of Blues I proposed to Danielle onstage. She said yes. It was pretty sweet. So I am most definitely off the market(I've been off the market forever, bu...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 08:29:00 PST

They're coming to take me away haha.

So we're about 98% moved in. Had to move in with my parents for a few months to save some money back up. Kind of sucks but what can you do? We had a nice little bit saved up but it all got spent when ...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:38:00 PST

Selling some shit...buy it..

2 Yamaha 18" subs w/horns - Both for $150 or $75 a piece. JH-2 Dunlop Jimi Hendrix Fuzz Face - $45 Electro Harmonix Big Muff Pi - $55 Rocktron Banshee Talkbox - $65 Ampeg Vt-22 head(needs some repair)...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 04:44:00 PST

Hookers on Horseback

Jack and Coke will make me viciousYou think your words make you so bigBut you ain't man enough for actionsOr to climb the whole you seem to digI ain't much for superstitionsBut I don't like to push my...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Sat, 30 Jun 2007 09:27:00 PST

let's laugh at rejected degrassi characters

I'm not very good with metaphors and sappy chordsI know that I don't write the notes that you would like to readbut I'll try to think of something I can singthere will be a wire tap, and I'm pretty su...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:16:00 PST

Cynical is the new black

Just another dumb punkScreaming what I can suckSell the fucking world Just to make a quick buckThis ain't about progressIt's permanent recesswithout the playgroundDo your own makeup?You look like a li...
Posted by Jewbacca the Accountant Wookie. on Sun, 27 May 2007 09:24:00 PST