41808071

my pin number is 4478. i wrote the book on procrastination, but keep on putting off getting it published. one time i threw up in the middle of a job interveiw and i got the job,..not the one i was applying for, but the job of cleaning up the mess i made. i attended catholic school as a child but were never molested by a priest and i resent this, i mean was there somthing wrong with me, im insecure enough and now i have to deal with this mental stigma,...i am now sueing the catholic church for the contense of a chow basket after a rockin christmas eve mass. im an easy going guy who loves to travel, the fact that ive visited many parts of pennsylvania and new jersey is a testament to that,....i love to snuggle up with a good book,.. and somtimes i even read the content of it. a couple of years ago i joined the pygmy rebellion and led them to battle and defeat a rival tribe,..i miss those guys, Those little bastards really looked up to me. i have a slight case of schitzophrenia and have about seven different personalities,..each one just as dynamite as the one thats writing this. in high school i was voted most likely to lie about his proffesion when i got older,..this has always bothered me,...it still does,..but i dont let it deter me from carrying out my top secret assassination missions for the C.I.A with impecible percission. i write novels and just finished a supernatural thiller called the unforseen which is so fucking awful that i dont forsee it ever getting published. when i was only eight years old i was diagnosed with severe acute saturday night fever. the diagnoisis was confirmed when during my examination i jumped on top of the table and mimicked the famous dance that john travolta did in the film and all the nurses thought it was acute. im an eighties kind of guy and was once arrested for doing the safety dance in a no safety dancing zone, the charges were later dropped when it was found that i was the coolest guy ever to wear a red pleather michael jackson zipper jacket....also i was the moonwalking king of the east coast but that all came to an end in 1985 when i moonwalked right the fuck off a cliff by accident. i was hurt so badly that the doctors said i would never moonwalk again, but i was determend to prove them wrong.........but they were right. i cannot eat vegetables unless i mimic the sound of a choo choo train as i slowly bring the fork to my mouth,..this can be very embarassing, especialy when i take a date to a vegetarian resturaunt. as a child, when i did bad in school, my parents used to lock me in the cabinet under the sink,..it would have sucked if the cabinet werent a five hundred square foot room equipt with 32 inch color t.v, atari 5200 game set up, trampoline, state of the art stereo system, phone, giant leather couch and a water bed where our gorgeuos swedish house keeper named svenga used to sleep,..she was a mute and didnt speak so she wasnt much for conversation but she was great,.i used to make her laugh all the time and she,..well lets just say you can learn alot from a dummy, HOT CHA!!, so i really have to blame my parents for my schoolastic downward spiral by keeping me motivated to fuck the fuck up in school. im not very good at manipulating people and would have made a horrible, cult leader, used car salesman, politician, serial killer, lawyer, evangilist, or chiropractor. however i did become a great actor who starred in the production of Fiddler On The Roof when it began it's run on broadway,...everything was great up until one preformance where i slipped, fell off the roof and busted my ass,...right before i went on my agent told me to break a leg,..well i did him one better and broke both of them along with my fiddling arm,....when i got out of the hospital i was told that i was being replaced by Harvey Firestein,..they said they wanted someone who was more masculine,...oh fucking well,...so goes it in the acting biz!!! i am also a recovering video game junkie who was so bad at one point that i used to stash a pac man machine in the chandelier. i plan to free all the animals from the staten island zoo, starting with the monkeys so they can help me (if any monkeys are reading this, it's on baby,.. friday night) and i like parades that end up off a pier and into the ocean. i just purchased a bowflex,..what a great piece of machinery, it's great for my five minute naps and i can hang a full load of wet laundry on it. i usually get what i need for example,..once i was sitting on a park bench in need of a light for my unlit cigarette and as i patted my pockets down the old lady next to me spontaniously combusted,...oppertunity knocked and i answered by lighting my smoke off of her then tossed her in the fountain, she's doing fine now and i visit her from time to time, when i see her i always run the same joke into the ground by saying "gotta light" then we crack up,..never gets old. once, while eating dinner in a nice resturaunt my spoon kept on bending before i could get a mouthful of soup in and it would fall back into the bowl. the girl i was trying to impress kept giggleing everytime this happend and it was all a mystery. then i found out that Yuri Geller was sitting a couple of tables down from me and was un doubtedly the cause of all this as he wore a incriminating smirk on his face,...i felt like bending my fork into his thigh,... show off son of a bitch,...lets see ya bend a knife mr credibility... cant do it?,...i didnt think so!!