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A lot of ladies (men too, but mostly women) ask me for advice all the time to get a male's perspective on things from relationships, sex, and all kinds of other things. Since I get many of the same type of questions, I'm now posting them in my blog section. If you got a question, don't hesitate to send me a message and hopefully I can be helpful. I'll keep you totally anonymous, but be warned that I'm brutally honest, so don't ask anything that you might not be able to handle the truth on.
The Scenario: Let's say that you are in the store shopping, and today you're in a great mood. Your clothes look right, hair and nails done tight, and you're looking too good. All of a sudden the unexpected takes place. This stranger in the form of an extremely handsome man approaches you from a distance. He's looking good, smelling good, dressed good; He's just your type. He gives you direct eye contact and when he reaches you, in the sexiest voice he says. Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm a very straightforward person that ask directly for what I want. You look so exotic to me and I would love to eat your puzzy. May I?
Leave a comment or message and tell me your answer. (One rule, you must be brutally honest)
Also check out my book excerpt below entitled INDECENT PROPOSAL to see how the quiz got started.
INDECENT PROPOSAL
Let me tell you about one of my tightest encounters ever. It was a nice cool, breezy April day. I was on a much-needed vacation. I had been working crazy ass overtime for like the last three months, and I felt like I was married to the job. Ordinarily I would take a trip to the beach or somewhere out of town, but this year I just wanted to relax and watch some daytime TV and not shave for a few days.
On my second day of vacation, I started to get bored as shit. Daytime TV wasn't working out for me with all them stupid ass court shows, fake ass game shows, and the bullshit soaps. Now don't get it twisted, I wasn't missing work one bit, but I was used to moving around and not standing still. I decided to go to the grocery store and stock my kitchen, since I had turned into a fast food junkie as of late. It was time for me to kick that habit.
I made it to Super 1 Foods about noon. It wasn't many patrons that day so I was able to take my time and not worry about being all congested and feeling rushed by people trying to get past me in the isles or vice versa. I had been there about thirty minutes and had my buggy about half full. I was having a nice little personal debate over whether to go with Prego or Ragu. I wanted to make some fettuccini alfredo, but I truly didn't know which would be the better sauce. Anyway, fuck all that bullshit. While I was pondering for a decision, a lightly stocked buggy rolled past me leaving a trail of sexy aroma. I knew that fragrance anywhere. That was Liz Taylor's White Diamonds. That perfume could make any woman smell like she belonged on a throne.
The driver of the buggy was a wonderful example of what sexy is all about. I could only see her from behind at first, but I thought to myself, if she's this attractive from behind then she must be a dime piece from the front. I stood there semi froze and took my time checking her fine ass out. She was dressed in a professional manner with a white long sleeve blouse, a dark blue skirt with the sweetest ba-dunk-a-dunk poking at it just right. Her skirt was just above her knee, which led down to the sexiest, sleekest, most tone legs all the way to her black high heels. "Ungh ungh!" I softly muttered as I enjoyed this heavenly view. One thing all women should know is that high heels are a must when it comes to being sexy.
She did a half turn and started analyzing the different brands of pasta to buy. I see we already had one thing in common. I guess she must have felt me staring at her or something, because she then looked sternly in my direction and looked me up and down from head to toe. Damn, could she be checking me out is what I thought? Her gaze finally reached my eyes, and with a blank expression she stared right back at them. This lady was so fucking elegant. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was silky black and pressed straight down past her shoulders. Her skin tone was a smooth deep chocolate that seemed flawless. She didn't appear to have on any make up, and if she did then I was definitely fooled. Her eyebrows were arched razor sharp. Again I repeat, this woman was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. She had some big ass juicy soup coolers with a dark reddish lipstick that I knew would be just heaven to kiss and suck on, among other things.
While marveling at the fullness of her lips, it didn’t escape me that she was not smiling. Her cold stare seemed to be screaming “what the fuck are you looking at?” She looked away and went on with her shopping. At this point the average guy would’ve quickly heeded the warning of those two piercing daggers called her eyes. I however being a seasoned mack knew better. I knew that most women who played that tough guy act just wanted to be broken down. They don’t want a weak ass dude to be kissing her ass and doing too damn much to impress her for something as simple as her phone number, let alone a piece of ass. I’m not saying that they want to be dominated or stripped of their independence or anything remotely caveman. What those tough ass women want is for a real man who isn’t intimidated and will step to her and you know, be a fucking real man. Plus this lovely wrapped package looked me up and down, and I’m gonna assume that it wasn’t a coincidence unless she shows me different. After all studies show that body language often is way louder than verbal language.
I contemplated asking her opinion in my spaghetti sauce debate. I figured that could break the ice and I can sprinkle a little game from there. Something about the way she looked me up and down was weighing on my head. I couldn’t figure it out. I just knew that it meant something. She appeared to be a woman of high independence, and past experience had shown me that those types usually like to cut the bullshit and do the damn thang, instead of wasting time. Whether it was closing a deal, shopping, or straight up fucking, those true independents always liked to cut the bullshit.
I immediately decided to go for broke and make it known that I wanted to put this dick in her world. I thought to myself, fuck this spaghetti sauce, and pushed my buggy in her direction. It was only a few feet to reach her. She didn’t look up as I approached until I was now right there in front of her. She did a half turn and once again quickly studied me from head to toe. She didn’t say even the slightest word. However that second look convinced me that I had pegged her correctly. We stood there looking for a brief pause until I finally spoke up and said, "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm a very straightforward person that asks directly for what I want. You look so exotic to me and I would love to eat your pussy. May I?" She just stood there looking at me blankly. I couldn’t gauge a response from her at all. Her face was emotionless, she didn’t appear outraged, nor overjoyed, she just studied me. I now started to come to my senses and felt that maybe I had played myself in stepping to this woman in such a distasteful manner. It had been a few seconds since I made my indecent proposal, and that pause in communications seemed like an eternity. For a third time she looked me up and down, and that gave me the ability to hold my stare with her to let her know that I meant business. She then took me off guard and broke our stare and began fumbling in her purse. I looked down at her Coach bag and hoping like hell she wasn’t searching for her pepper spray, or perhaps a stun gun. My concerns were eased when she finally found what she was looking for, pen and paper. She wrote down a telephone number with no name, handed it to me, and turned and pushed her shopping cart away.
Well I‘ll be a muthafucka! My hunch paid off. I tried to continue with my shopping, but my head wasn’t into it. The episode from about five minutes ago kept replaying in my head. I had a throbbing monster poking the front of my velour sweats as a result. I still had that piece of paper in my hand trying to figure when would be the best time to call her. I stopped in the dairy section and instead of pricing milk and eggs; I put two and two together about the number. I figured since she left no name that it was probably a fake or maybe a cell. I decided to dial right then and try to hook up something for later tonight. I figured I might cook her some fettuccini since she already showed an interest in pasta. Anything to get her to my house right? Rigggghhhtttt.
On the third ring I heard her beautiful voice for the first time when she answered in a serious subtle tone, “Hello.” I began trying to explain who I was, but she quickly cut me off and explained, “If I had of made it out of the store before you called, then that would’ve told me that you weren’t serious. Meet me outside in about three or four minutes. White SUV.” She hung up before giving me a chance to speak. I didn’t hesitate. I popped a peppermint for security reasons and headed towards the front of the store for the parking lot. Fuck the groceries.
Right away, I saw her putting her bags into the back of her white Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows. Once I reached her she quickly instructed me to get into the back seat on the passenger side. I got in first and the scent of mulberry quickly rushed me with its pleasant aroma, as I made myself comfy in the nice leather seats. She got in and didn’t waste any time to my amazement. She faced me and reclined and kicked her right leg across the middle console and raised her skirt to reveal a nicely cropped bush, which was waxed smoothly on both sides of her pussy lips. Man that bold ass attitude had my whole fucking body throbbing. This was a seductive ass vixen, yes indeed.
Since she wasn’t wasting any time, I wasn’t gonna fuck around either. Even though space was limited, I got down on my knees in a cramped position and cupped my hands underneath her firm juicy ass and pulled her to me. I decided right then and there to take my time and savor this tasty looking tender. I started at her right knee and began with slow wet kisses trailing down to the center of her inner thigh. I took my tongue and licked a straight line back up to her knee. Yeah this was one mufucking tongue-lashing she wouldn’t soon forget. I repeated that same motion going down past her inner thigh and resting just on the outside of her pussy. I stayed in that spot for a few seconds and darted my tongue slowly and wetly on and off of her flesh. I licked the outline of that phat ass twat even slower, making extra sure not to slip and hit that sweet spot too soon. Dragging my tongue in a counterclockwise motion, I made my way up to that neatly trimmed bush, and took extra care going over the exact pattern of her soft follicles. I repeated that motion about two more times. Next I blew a sweet delicate breeze of warm breath from the crack of her ass to the top of her clit. She let her first moan escape her. I don’t know if she knew it, but she fucked up with that motion. That ass was in trouble now. I was letting that anticipation build up right and exact. I wanted that pussy to be slippery wet before I touched it.
I rested the tip of my tongue on the skin between her asshole and pussyhole and let my tongue glide from side to side, side to side, and side to side some more, slowly of course. I took a quick glimpse over the hill of her fat clit, along the flat highway of her belly, through the mountains of her plump breast all the way up to her eyes, which appeared to be rolling into her head. I took that as a compliment. I had teased this thoroughbred long enough. It was now time to give her what she was craving. I did what I like to call the electric slide. From the crack of her ass, I let my tongue flicker upwards through her slit as if it was climbing stairs. On the way up I couldn’t help but savor the tangy flavor of her wet, sticky icky icky pussy juice. Halfway up her slit, I buried my tongue deep inside of her pussyhole, which transformed her moans into a nice erotic “Ohhh shit.” I took that as a compliment also. I let my tongue slither out of her hole and continued with my electric slide until I reached her swollen pearl tongue. I just rested there for a few seconds and enjoyed her hurried moans and increased rate of breathing. It sounded like applause to me.
Now it was on and time to get down to mufucking business. I flickered my tongue up and down on her clit over and over again. I couldn’t believe how wet she was. My tongue action was building steadily into a rapid crescendo. I was working her into a frenzy. Her moans were still soft as hell, but they were now more frequent letting me know that her lusty anticipation was being well satisfied. I kept right on flicking that tongue across that fat ass clit. I reached up and rubbed my fingertips across her smooth flat stomach nice and slowly to match the rhythm of the tongue-lashing she was getting below. My hands soon found their way to her soft fleshy breast, which was a good handful. Man I wanted to suck them bad boys like a mufucka, but my mouth was already preoccupied of course. I took both of her nipples between my thumbs and fuck you fingers and started tweaking them like I was fine-tuning a radio. That must have been her thing, because she then grabbed my head and tried to bury my face in the mufucking place. I knew what time it was and began to suck on that clit hard and fast like a baby on a pacifier. That did it there, her moans were getting louder and louder now. The more she moaned and groaned the more I squeezed on them tits. The more she pulled my head, the harder I sucked on her clit. She hadn’t been much for words, but that was now changing as she instructed out of passion, “Right there! Right there! Don’t Stop! Don’t stop!” I stayed steady on that puss just like she requested until she flooded me with the spicy flavor of her coochie cum. She let out a small shriek to signify she was cumming. Hell she didn’t say it, but I knew she cumming.
I let the force of her climax settle, but I was far from done. I started right back sucking on that clit slowly waiting for her intensity to rebuild so that I could return to my original pace. I took my right pointer finger and slipped it inside of her warm wet hole and slowly jabbed it in and out. Her excitement was coming back quickly and she took much pleasure in this stranger clinging to her like a Sucker-mouthed Catfish. I inserted another finger and began jabbing her pussy even harder and faster. I continued in this manner a few more minutes making her cum twice more each more powerful than the last nut. Now it was my turn to feel good. I dropped my drawers to the floor and finally got a chance to release this throbbing Rottweiler that had been begging to be unleashed ever since I was in the store. I got up on that pussy and rubbed the head of my dick up and down that extra wet slit to get me some lubrication. I spanked that fat ass clit with this fat ass dickhead, which sent a surge along the length of my shaft to the tip. I inserted the head into her swollen pussy lips. That first feel of pussy sent a wave of electric pleasure throughout my whole body. I knew I wasn’t gonna last long. I grabbed them hips and pulled her to me until I had all of this dick in. That caused her to moan. Man it felt so mufucking good. I started hitting that ass for mufucking real; like it was the last piece of pussy I was gonna ever get. I couldn’t slow down at all. She was looking right at me the whole time with a sly smirk that seemed to declare that she knew that she had some good pussy, and she was convinced that I knew it too. If that was the case, then she was mufucking right and had me on mufucking fire. I couldn’t hold back any further and took my pussy slicked dick out and shot a heavy ass load all over her stomach and pussy. Boy I tell ya, I came hard as fuck. I must’ve busted the main nut and the backup nut.
We both dressed and exited the vehicle. I walked around to the driver side as she got back in behind the steering wheel. She rolled down her window and reached for the piece of paper protruding from my chest pocket, which held her cell number and quickly tore it up and threw it on the ground. I didn’t say a word. She pulled me to her and gave me a deep passionate tongue kiss, waved bye, rolled up her window, and drove off never to be seen again. I never even got her name was the tripped out part about it. I had her number in my cell phone, but I respected her gangsta and went on and deleted it. She probably was married or something.
If you liked the preceding excerpt and would like to read the rest of my book then you can order at www.NaztyMouf.com. It’s available in both an e-book and paperback(not available in stores at this time). The e-book is $7 and available for immediate download, therefore you don’t have to pay for nor wait for any shipping. The paperback is $10 and includes shipping and takes 3-4 days to be delivered.Just make your choice and click the secure Buy Now button and once your payment is verified, for e-book, you'll be sent a downloadable PDF file to the email address that you entered with your payment info, and for paperback, you'll be sent an email once your order has been shipped. Thanks in advance.