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The Haiku Five

About Me

News Update: A Haiku 5 Book is being planned, stay tuned for lousy updates.


We are the Haiku Five. We were created on December 6, 2005, in a Creative Writing Workshop in North Branford High School. There are five members in our group.
Phatrick- The bad boy. His raw, honest, and bold haiku grabs readers, and never lets go! His hobbies include porn, stalking, rapping, dancing, being a jerk, and crying.
Gerald- The sporty one. Gerald's flexible verses blur the line between exotic ingenuity and perverse creativity. A strong supporter of Women's Rights.
Tom D- The one who is older than all the rest by a significant number of years. This isn't literal, but in terms of verbosity, Tom rips through haiku and tanka at master speeds, and often, the reader will not know if he is unbelievably intelligent, or unbelievably weird, as his verses can give the impression of either.
Dave- The cute one. The girls go wild for Dave's haiku, but be aware: he will often catch you off guard, as his paradigm revolves around various levels of rape, molestation, and general perversions.
Keith- The Leader. He founded this group of young like-minded literary geniuses. He has collaborated with all members of the group, and loves to add two seven-syllable lines to the ends of other member's haikus, creating potent tankas.
Make sure you view all our blogs, that's where the hundreds of high-quality haikus that are carefully written each day will be posted.
Oh, and we love it when our fans leave their own haiku comments....

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Billy Collins. And Shel Silverstein, but only to kick his ass.

My Blog

Keiths Haiku

Surly mountain mainnavigates the lush terrainof a young camper.Chrenobyl felineis followed by her litter:dead skin and fur clumps.Applying Elmersto my startled horse's shoe,the glue starts to run.Fros...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 09:28:00 GMT

Dave and Keith 6/11/06

A collection of haiku and tanka, written by Dave and Keith, for your viewing pleasure. Inspired by fast-food chain mascots, and tag sales.Beastiality:The Colonel loves his chickens,Oiled and clucking....
Posted by on Sun, 11 Jun 2006 14:22:00 GMT

Phat's haiku trainwreck 1/24

6/23 Stumble out of bed An early morning haiku Smelly like my breath Disgusted to see An Omish Pornography "Horse and Bang-Buggy" bored 6/9 Online predatorsHarassing you with their wordsIts ...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 19:12:00 GMT

Gerald's Haiku Log, updated May 23

 Brave Humpty Dumpty Galavanting on his wall Vultures eye the damned Once a galant egg Now a mass of splattered yolk Rotting in the street Along comes a horse Starving from a long journey Licks...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 19:05:00 GMT

Tom's Blog of Eternal Stench 4/11

Request our friendshipWhen the Apocalypse comesWe will choose who lives 4/11Starving orphan boyYou could have had my sandwichBut I'm still hungry 3/5Samurai fighterFollows you in the dark nightPunch ...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 19:02:00 GMT

Dave's Log - NEW HAIKUS FOR ALL! - 5/25

5/25 United NationsBand together to stop warsYou bunch of pussies One day I was sickGrandma made me chicken soupThen I found a pube Sweaty prostituteYour thighs could choke a small childAnd so could ...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 18:01:00 GMT