i love pinetop, and i miss it but i just don't really want to go back haha i miss just being with kt ktlyn hillary jaime cory and jj they are my favorites. i like to think and have intense conversations that have meaning. i know what i want but even then i can't just go for it and i don't know why. i have a tendancy to hurt people and confuse people without saying a word. i have quite a few flaws but they keep things interesting. i try too hard to please others and most of the time i just can't i am incapable of doing so. i also push people who mean a lot to me as far away as possible, maybe because i am scared to get too close and then have them leave, i am complicated and don't really understand myself but it happens i guess and ive become ok with it, i don't care to be in relationships and never have, im very independent but content, ive left my comfort zone to be on my own and make mistakes that will have more effect on myself than others, which is not completely true because a persons actions always have effect on others but i hope theyre not too serious, I live with my best friend and have the others a short ways away except for rowedur who is now living in Portland. I have begun my first semester at ASU this fall, to tell you the truth i am terrified and don't exactly know what to think of it now that it is actually here...actually i kinda do know what to think of it i hate it here and i miss the security of my family and how my friends and i used to be there is nothing that could compare to a night out in the woods...i miss being able to make those amazing memories that i will keep for the rest of my life, i would like to move to a place i could consider home, i am very small town and i like it that way. Ive learned that people judge to quickly and most people are in it for one thing and one thing only i miss being able to hold a conversation with someone and them actually understand where i am coming from, i miss my teammates back home and if i could go back and never leave i would be on the road as we speak, this move has been the hardest thing that i have ever done and i almost regret it...but other than that i am pretty layed back and easy going, i am just now learning who i am and even now i am not sure. my heart goes out to those who have no drive or want to succeed. i miss people from a long time ago and i am not really sure why because most of them left without even a goodbye but for some reason i just can't let their memories go. i wish i could...i need to learn to follow my heart and not my brain polka layout @ HOT FreeLayouts.com
