Walter - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hi. I really like you.

My Interests

Accumulation.

I'd like to meet:

Nick Lachey's vagina. A girl who smells and tastes like peanut butter cups. An elderly billionaire with no one to leave his estate to. An elderly millionaire with no one to leave his estate to. An elderly man with no one to leave his collection of booze to.

Music:

I like bands like... Mogwai, Godspeed You Black Emperor!, Tool, Alice in Chains, Mum, Low, Opeth, The Mars Volta, Deftones, DO MAKE SAY THINK, Explosions in the Sky, Foo Fighters, Jerry Cantrell, Katatonia, Our Lady Peace, Rage Against the Machine, Sigur Ros, Stone Temple Pilots, Taproot, William Hung, Trick Daddy and Zelda and the Unibrows.Stone From Delphi is actually a good sounding band on myspace (look at all two of my friends), as well.My favorite band in the world is the up-and-coming roxy band DUSK, straight out of Canton, Michigan and outlying areas.I also like all the bands that you like, as to facilitate our friendship.

Movies:

RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD all the way through RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II and finally on to RAMBO III.

Television:

Futurama (I hate you FOX) Arrested Development (Best show ever - I hate you FOX) Home Movies (I hate you, whoever cancelled this) The Simpsons (pre-crappy era) X-Files (pre-season 7) Further proof that everything you love and enjoy will one day wither and die before your very eyes (unless you are lucky enough to die first).And mostly, I hate America for having such poor taste in TV shows. I mean, SERIOUSLY. COME ON! Get your shit together. I'm gonna carve my name into your arm with my pecs.COME ON!

Books:

DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP?

Heroes:

Fox Mulder, Vince Carter, Jesus Jones, Enterprise Car Rental, Huracan Ramirez, John Madden, Koei, Jermaine O'Neal, the chubby Mexican who got punched by Jermaine O'Neal, Tom Williams II and all the other slightly inferior members of DUSK, Tony Jaa, Larry Hughes, anyone who has kicked or will kick Mark Cuban in the balls, Yesterdog of Grand Rapids, Michigan, Jason Terry, Randy Moss, Metacomet of the Wampanoag, Angelina Jolie, Philip K. Dick, Joey Harrington, Bioware, Danny Carey, Kevin Spacey, Edward Norton, breasts, both large and small, Rodney Yee, John Rambo, Colonel Troutman, Dana Sculley and everyone who is working to make a difference in the life of a young child.

My Blog

Anaconda vs. Boa Constrictor / The power of prayer

Today I realized that I have an instinctive fear and distrust of people with big teeth. In other news, I suck at bowling, and I have to take 19 credit hours next semester. Will I ever find...
Posted by Walter on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 08:37:00 PST

Bonermerang / Rex Grossman's third pube

Does anyone else do their Christmas shopping at Dollar Tree? I hope you like expired tootsie rolls.
Posted by Walter on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 08:11:00 PST

Joey Harrington's electric fingers / Hot nudes

Sometimes I wish I had an Arby's roast beef slicer right in my apartment. I'd just turn it on and lie down underneath it and have delicate slices of succulent roast beef fall into my mouth from on hig...
Posted by Walter on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:02:00 PST

I hate that song. You know the one I mean.

I like all the flavors of Suave shampoo. Are they still called flavors if you don't eat them? I don't know. I don't know, alright? That's what I call them. Because they sure do smell like flavors. You...
Posted by Walter on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 09:17:00 PST

Killer cat from outerspace / Risk free cure for vaginal warts

I was so young when it happened. So innocent, so pure. And then the world reared up and clawed at my face, reminding me that pain and death and rabies are but a claw's breadth away. I wrote a poem abo...
Posted by Walter on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:50:00 PST

Lions.

Will the Lions ever be good in my lifetime? Considering I only have 47 seconds to live, I don't think so. But what about you other, more long-lived individuals? Somehow, I doubt the Lions will ever be...
Posted by Walter on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 07:30:00 PST

Yesterdog / Dollar pint / Sized phallus

Have you ever been to Yesterdog? Some may tell you she's a myth, a legend, a figment of some poor, deluded hot-dog-lover's imagination. Well, my friend, I will tell you that, honestly and truly, I hav...
Posted by Walter on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 11:32:00 PST

ANALRAPIST: The world's first analyst/therapist

Do you ever wonder why the best shows on TV always get cancelled? Is it because the average American consumer would rather watch a shaved, mysophobic Howie Mandel examine the intoxicating effects of g...
Posted by Walter on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 07:16:00 PST

BORAT!

Let me step away from my madness for a moment to post something semi-serious. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation Kazakhstan is the best, funniest movie I have seen ...
Posted by Walter on Sat, 04 Nov 2006 09:44:00 PST

Growing marijuana on a Chia-pet

Icy-Hot creme has a menthol smell. I have no problem with that. Just make sure you wash your hands thoroughly after use, especially if you are planning on making contact with any sensitive areas. Ball...
Posted by Walter on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 08:05:00 PST