Growing a mustache. Combing my mustache. Trimming my mustache. Talking about mustaches. Touching my mustache. Touching your mustache.
Just a bunch of enormously fat chicks. We'd hitch a ride to the DQ on the back of an old pickup truck.
There are lots of good bands that I really like, like Jawbreaker, Alkaline Trio, Cake, um, Walking Concert, etc. But because I listen to most of my music in the car, and because I don't have a CD player in there, I scan the stations all the time, and stop on stuff like Kanye West, Dido, and Kelly Clarkson. There are some songs that, when they come on, I get really excited about it. Like "Paradise City" by Guns n' Roses, or "Barracuda" by Heart, or "Jump Around" by House of Pain. I mean, I get so excited, my balls nearly explode.
I only watch B movies starring Dave Coulier. Oh, and I also saw "Hair."
Arrested Development (which has been cancelled), Seinfeld, The Office (British), The Office (American), The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, My Name is Earl, Scrubs, Joey (I know it's bad, shut up), Daily Show, Colbert Report, Sportscenter
Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, Chuck Palahniuk, Truman Capote, Joseph Heller, Bret Easton Ellis, books that look smart which I only pretend to understand, books with big pictures and little words, books with naked ladies
Aquaman can talk to fucking fish. How can you not respect that? You know what I would talk about if I could talk to fish? My feelings and stuff. I'd be like, "So you're a salmon, huh?" And he'd be like, "Yeah." I'd say, "Cool. Sometimes I don't feel appreciated." He'd come back with, "Dude, that sucks, but stick it out and things'll get better," and I'll be like, "Yeah, definitely. I'm glad we had this talk, salmon. It's too bad that bears eat you."