ya doyle! - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Being a kid in the 80s, I always wanted to grow up to be either Corey Feldman or Matthew Broderick. Glad I didn't though cos it turns out they're both cunts.
Now I go out too much, dj, produce, learn techie crap and Ive recently developed a liking for wearing cardigans.
When I have a newspaper and a pen at hand I cant not draw glasses and moustaches on all the faces.
I like to eat loads during the day then nothing at night: This is partly cos I cant be bothered to go to the shop.
I know loads of jokes - why did the baker have smelly hands? Cos he kneaded a poo.***********Why dont deaf people parachute? Cos theyve never heard of it.************Whats the hardest thing about Rollerblading Telling your parents youre gay.

I can do the 'pretend youre walking in to the wind dance'. 80s movies are class as well as beer and good mates...lots of them. I couldnt live without dancing and I feel most at home in front/behind of a set of turntables.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

..

Heres a guy who has the same name as me. Id like to meet him. He looks pretty cool.

Richard Johnson, aka Muttonchops, is West Yorkshire's premier banjo player, the official photographer for Leeds Jazz and a major contributor to the Leeds Jazz Archive.
So there you go.

10 facts about me.

1) When I was a baby I used to hold my breath till I went blue in the face. Me mother would have to smack my backside to make me stop.

2) I broke my leg when I was 8 after I slipped running across the road trying to impress some girls. I was in plaster for 6 months.

3) At school I would regularly hide in a bush for an hour when the rest of the class was doing PE. This is where I learned how to smoke.

4) I rolled my mothers Ford Fiesta a few times, 2 months after passing my driving test.

5) When I was at college I would wear a wig and cap for days at a time. In fact I did this so often people actually thought the wig was my real hair.

6) Ive been chased up the street by a gang of angry tramps.

7) I once walked in to a house party to find there was no-one there. So I went in the kitchen, made myself a drink and lit up a cig. Imagine my surprise when I walked in to a room and found a full asian family dressed in their pyjamas watching Saturday night TV.

8) I once had my house raided by 50 coppers who were looking for my murdered corpse, after being tipped off by my sister.

9) At Uni I had to live with 2 Germans in my first year. They would always use my TV and asked if they could borrow it while I was away for Easter. I said yes then spent the following 6 hours making a TV out of cardboard and silver foil and placed it on my window ledge so it could be seen from outside. I then locked my door and went home with the real TV.

10) I once stole a whole jar of potassium from the school chemistry lab. I threw it in the park pond and it caused the biggest explosion Ive ever seen. Some of the ducks survived. Since then Ive never underestimated the power of science.

My Blog

Injuries

You know, I was considering this point to myself today just how many injuries have I sustained over the years...but every single one of them has been self inflicted. Not possible I thought. But thin...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Mar 2007 13:17:00 GMT

Wind-ups.

I was reminded the other day while talking to my housemate, Alvin (the van hawt) of a great windup I was privvy to be part of a few years ago. There was this yank manager bloke over from Texas workin...
Posted by on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 06:45:00 GMT

mp3 phones are the devils creation.

Ok this has been bugging me for fucking ages and I need to get it off my chest. Why is that the people who listen to the worst r 'n' b and bullshit UK hip hop cant afford headphones for their phones?...
Posted by on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 12:41:00 GMT

NYE!!

Its 2007!!!! I thought the world would have ended by now so Im all out of plans. That Nostradamus guy is full of shit. I want to thank everyone for turning up to the house party on Sunday/Monday........
Posted by on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 09:28:00 GMT

xmas partys

Its been a while since Ive pulled my finger out and written a bit. A lot has happened. Last weekend was a bit mental. Thursday night was the office party. I managed to lose my debit card so phoned up...
Posted by on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 20:15:00 GMT

shit jokes.

I live for shit jokes. Whatever makes you laugh whether it be daft, cruel offensive or just plain mean is fine, as long as its funny. I wont tell you the first joke I ever heard cos it probably wont ...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 12:49:00 GMT

10 facts about moi

1) When I was a baby I used to hold my breath till I went blue in the face. Me mother would have to smack my backside to make me stop.2) I broke my leg when I was 8 after I slipped running a...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 01:52:00 GMT

Im going Digital

Looking around my room now Im seeing well over 1200 records of which I only ever play maybe 200 of. Its time for a clean out and time to make some cash on ebay. I had a go of the new Serato Scratch th...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 08:01:00 GMT

Martaban crew and news just in..

The party on Saturday night was a classic. The only thing it really lacked was a girl crying in the corner. You cant have everything but this being my usual benchmark to which a phenomenal part...
Posted by on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 15:16:00 GMT

Reading 2006

Im back! Best performances were from Muse, Radio Soulwax, Franz Ferdinand and the Klaxons. Didnt fancy Pearl Jam so went to see Hot Chip instead. And they were good. Had a bad experience at...
Posted by on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 14:33:00 GMT