cyndia marie [cd]

A crumbling illusion is a frightening thing
It frees some, it buries & suffocates others
& the cruelest thing is we never know which we shall be-
the one riding to freedom...
or the one gasping for a last breaths.
i tend to mess things up for myself. i will never be quite what you expect and you'll never understand me or a word that comes out of my mouth. its hard to figure me out. my friends say you have to "Speak Cyndia". you can try, but its tough. i have abandonment issues. say one nice thing and i'm yours forever. i'm a nice person until you give me a reason not to be. if you stab me in the back, i'll probably return the favor. i can be shy if i don't know you very well, so don't get offended if I don't talk to you (this happens on a daily basis). i'm lazy. i'm a procrastinator. bridges over water scare the hell out of me. i don't sleep at night. i confuse people with my thought process. i have a really good memory. i'm pessimistic-- the glass is always half empty.. or not there at all. i'm very sarcastic, don't take it personally. i'm smarter than you realize. don't think you've pulled one over on me. i have you figured out, i just generally don't feel like taking the time out to call you on your bullshit. flip-flops were made for year around use. it really is the thought that counts (my favorite present ever was a box of fortune cookies that Jessi bought me.) we read each other's minds, sometimes it can be scary. i have no life plan, besides to be successful. my theory is that if you don’t tell anyone your dreams, only you will know you’ve failed. like i've said before, my life is bound to be one big continuous identity crisis. if I had to sum myself up in a few words for now they would be : confused, unique, determined, and dejected. i wish closed minds came with closed mouths. What kind of name is Cyndia?.. Sin-duh? really?
I ♥ Love
the fair* pranks (me+jessi+"buck"= every cop in Martin)* flip-flops* Narley puppy* 107MP & Fonville!* friends* family* tattoos* piercings* bathtub crayons* woo woos* music* concerts* the water* hoodies* rollercoasters* peanutbutter* basketball* pictures* swingin/playing at the park* the stars* the mall* movies* hammocks* snow* football* hats* coloring* fortune cookies* conspiracy theories* black nail polish* Jay & Silent Bob* March Madness* Lite Brites* skateboarders* Starbucks* Wal-mart* naps* poems & quotes* blowing bubbles* TMNT* my teddybear, Jay* 2nd Avenue* whitewater rafting* chocolate milk* roadtrips* Last Defense* UK Wildcats* Shane Told, Jared Leto, Johnny Depp* philosophy* s'mores* lots of eyeliner* paintings* plays* hushpuppies & coke floats w/jessi* Tuesday nights at The Keg* Michael's w/ the crew* Dexter's Laboratory* playing in the creek* slip'n'slide at the E-house* much more:)
look at her, once filled with innocence.
death has a way of wringing away such--deficiencies
Regret is a lonely companion.
Its hands are cold. Its words, empty.
It whispers what might have been.
It taunts me with the foolishness of lies.
So how many faces does regret have?
The quiet face of a lie barely whispered.
The seductive face of prying questions.
The shrewd face of deception well planned.
The longing face of a dream never realized.
How many faces? ...too many to count.
And when I look in the mirror,I see them all.