Instead of who I’d like to meet, let me tell you who I have met. I worked as an operative for the CAI for many years. Now that I have been de-commissioned and everything has been declassified, I can tell my story. My story begins at the height of the cold war during the 60’s. I remember it was a very cold day, Tuesday I think, when I received a call directly from President Kennedy. “Joey Hollywood†he said “I need your help. The Russians are sending missiles to Cuba and we need to stop them.†Of course I said “Yes. What kind of missiles sir?†I replied. “Well there really really big with pointy ends on them, have USSR painted on the side and make a hell of a hole in the ground when they go off.†“I see.†I said. “Have you called Corky and asked what they are doing?†Corky was Fidel Castro’s double secret code name. “Yes. He said they were putting on a Beach Boys concert the missiles were for the pyrotechnics show. I think he’s lying†“Hmmmmm. Let me call Fidel and make sure that’s true Skippy†President Kennedy liked it when I called him Skippy which was his double secret code name. I immediately put a call into Fidel. “Corky, Joey Hollywood here. How you dooooen bro.? “ “Listen, we’re getting calls here that you are planning something else besides the Beach Boys concert. What’s up dude.†“Joey,†he said “ Nice to hear from you ace. Saw you at the Hotel on Myspace. Man your still kicken ass dude. Beach Boys are really coming and I got a back stage for ya. There's no missiles, we just let that leak out to bust acorns. You know how Nikita likes to mess with Skippy’s head when he’s been doing mushrooms.†Plus he’s jealous that Marilyn won’t do him when he visits the UN.†“Yeah, she’s a bitch, only does domestic guys.†I said. “ What can I say. Wow, you guys still doing those kryptonite mushroom? Man send me some will you.†“You got it Joey. Anything for you. Hey thanks for the pepperoni last week . Great stuff. Very hard to get here as you know. Well listen, don’t worry. I’ll back off the ships and send them to Miami where they were really going. They only had Desi Arnez records on board for the Cubans in South Beach.†Great joke huh babe?†“Rocken Corky, that's a good one but you know Skippy's gonna get you back. Ha Ha †I said. “See you soon.†And that’s how I diverted the Cuban Missile Crisis. Next time I’ll tell you about how I saved the guys on Apollo 13 and got them back in one piece. Keep Rocken.