!Toan profile picture

!Toan

reality continues to ruin my life

About Me

i am clean. i also like to get dirty. contradictory? yes. i am a crux wrapped in an enigma, marinated in a conundrum, baked in a paradox, and then sprinkled with some mystery

My Interests

-picking lint out of my belly button
-text messaging while driving
-wiping thoroughly after each bowel movement
-driving with no pants on
-blue
-nude beaches
-tennis
-nude cooking
-rain
-cars
-breathing
-funny internet videos
-mma
-darkness
-bo luc lac
-trimming my pubes
-avoiding public restroom door handles
-satire
-chocolate
-natalie portman
-swinging
-singing out loud when no one is around
-dance dance dancin' behind closed doors
-nude exercising
-plantains
-teeth
-becoming a mexican apple thief
-taking massive dumps each and every morning
-golf
-color-coding my closet
-flossing
-protein shakes
-sunsets
-long, hot showers
-world peace
-voyeurism
-2nd amendment
-fruit
-racing from a roll
-cilantro
-Brazilian/Argentinian butts
-random text messages
-oatmeal
-taking shit apart and not putting it back together
-putting back shit that someone else took apart
-watching stuff burn (but not starting fires)
-string theory
-quantum electrodynamics
-cosmology
-biking
-nipples
-x-ray vision
-running from cockroaches
-Lactaid

I'd like to meet:

someone clean, or natalie portman - whoever comes first. i hope she's clean, but if she wasn't i don't think i'd mind. i'd also like to meet jack bauer, calvin & hobbes, and the genius who invented banana hammocks

Music:

any song with cow bells, Svensk folk music, yodeling, Christian rock

Movies:

only if they have at least one X in the title and/or description

Television:

martha stewart living, the view, dr. philtuan vu, my idol!

Books:

ones with lots of pictures, preferably of scantily-clothed females

Heroes:

i worship myself...and Jack Bauer