Stephanie profile picture

Stephanie

I come and go like fashion...

About Me

Analytical I am, I think deeper than the realest thought your brain's ever come up with. I question existence, people, faces, and places. You dislike me because you don't know me...That's fine I hold no grudge against the ignorant, intelligence hasn't hit them yet...it may never. I'm too clever to ponder the many reasons people in the world are so sick with jealousy and greed. If all I have in the end is me...then people can see me as they want to see. I have nothing to prove...only to myself. I am a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a best friend, and one of the realest people you will ever meet. So I say again no aloha den fuck you...yadadameen!

My Interests

Life and death...energy and peace If I stopped today it was fun... Even the terrible pains that have burnt me and scarred my soul... It was worth it for having been allowed to walk where I've walked... Which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, over, and above it.

Music:

Atmosphere, Dose 1, Illogic, Pharcyde, Immortal Technique, 80's music, classic rock, reggae, I pretty much listen to everything.

Movies:

Someone once told me that I can't sit still to watch a whole movie...I could possibly have adult A.D.D

Television:

I hate when it rains, cause in puddles I encounter this sky Unable to give a rebuttal but swift as the pain flood her eyes wonderin why she's a gift with no purpose A priceless one-of-a-kind piece that's worthless Grounded with no surface And when she shows one, it's a facade Cause inside she fights feelings that she was mistake by God I see her confusion and self-deception Questions of relevance and intelligence She holds an illusion of self-acceptance that she shows to those outside lookin in She's outside lookin in to her own life; lookin for strength to carry on as a pawn in this chess game of existance In her mind she wants to go on to the dawn and leave the stress that came with existance Hopin in death she'll find life Cause as she lives, she roams the dark, tryin to find light She's made her heart so hard, she doesn't even cry anymore Cause she's confronted sorrow frequently Her heart's been broken frequently It's like she's lost some part of her and just haven't found it yet So in her search, she's left with nothin but questions and regret All she wants to know is how one day, she's content and the next day she's cryin cause her life isn't what she thought life meant She just wants to be happy, with her love and all But too often I get messages through telepathic calls She's askin me through a puddle what more must she endure to continue But for some reason she knows she most endure to continueWhen I walk past puddles, my reflection calls beggin me to answer her questions about life and her perceptions and tell her why I hate her so much And you wonder why I hate her so much? Now when I walk past puddles, my reflection calls beggin me to answer her questions about life, and her perceptions and tell her why I hate her so much Damn, I wonder why I hate her so muchWhy did I hate her so much? I wondered, pondered on the question What in my mind caused me to despise my reflection? I didn't know I just knew when I saw her, how I felt and hated the fact that she had to play with the cards that she was dealt She's come in contact with some ill things that can't be explained Life's extracted her energy to where the pain can't be contained So to me she comes, sheddin tears like skin Intimate with some, only the ones he calls friends If she even exists, she only exists in pain It's like her life is a myth and she's been blessed with the gift of shame, I mean From birth to love she's been betrayed She's an unknown in how to cope with that pain and dissapointment she's come to know as she's grown She feels she stands alone in this world of puddle images And she awaits the time for when, time finishes She tries to elevate thought, but she's still chillin in the basement Awaitin a rebirth of her soul as it fears it's spiritual placementGod I pray you can give me a purpose or help me find it Cause on this narrow path of self-damnation, I can't find it Is it somethin I need to know, some way I need to grow to get out of this rut, God give me some self-trust Love is somethin I'm lookin for but I've found it, or have I? I wanna live but can I, or do I have to die to? I try to, have life but my life seems kinda worthless as I'm starin at this puddle

My Blog

Rest in Peace My Dearest Friend Ronald

Ronald, Kristine called me today and gave me the worst news I could've ever imagined. Apparently I was the last to find out. I snuck the call in the bathroom at work, which was a bad idea because I c...
Posted by Stephanie on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 11:21:00 PST

This sums it up...

She say that she still wants a friendshipShe can't live her life without me as a friendI can't figure out why I give a damn to what she wantsI don't understand the now before the thenMost of this garb...
Posted by Stephanie on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 06:23:00 PST

Telling the Truth

  Some drunk ass guy kept bothering me at Tsunami's the other night...don't ask why I was at that stinky bar but he kept asking me what I did for a living....So, normally in my drunken states of...
Posted by Stephanie on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 10:13:00 PST

To the City of Monterey

I'm Out
Posted by Stephanie on Thu, 03 Aug 2006 12:24:00 PST

For...

You rhapsodize about beauty...my eyes glaze. Everything I love is in you...I mean really...you would be amazed Just do me one favor...it's the least you could do. Just don't treat me like I am somethi...
Posted by Stephanie on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 10:17:00 PST