I started using MySpace when I realized that I had no friends whatsoever. I figured MySpace would be an okay way for me to appease my social appetite and maybe find some people that would accept me for who I really was...a snaggle-toothed walrus. So I promised myself that once I achieved adequate social skills and had friends, that I would cancel my account immediately so that I wouldn't get "weird like the rest of them."Days later I had a breakthrough. While using MySpace, I decided I would go ahead and pursue meeting my future wife because finding friends and soul mates on MySpace seemed like the run-of-the-mill thing to do. It just HAD to work for me too.Well, I am still a "MySpacer" which means two things: I still have no friends and I can't afford an engagement ring.I began to ponder why I was not succeeding...hourly. Within weeks I figured out that my mediocre success with maintaining my old friends, meeting new ones on "The Space," and finding my soul mate was undeniably caused by my extreme obesity. Other potential factors could be my tendency to look at food in a very lewd manner and my obsession with exfoliating my skin. Despite my inability to achieve my intended goals through "The Space," I have met some very fun bands and been date raped once. So at least I am getting somewhere.To be cont'd...
Each night he added to the pattern of his fancies until drowsiness closed down upon some vivid scene with an oblivious embrace.
