SOKOâ„¢ - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm Soko...or Danny. Either way, I'm me. I live in a wheel chair with IV's of heroin and Everclear pumping through my veins by way of a 4-stroke motor. I just can't get enough of that shit. I have a strange fascination with bubble-wrap. I get paid to punch people in the face, although, lately I've been fighting like the kid in middle school who was catching butterflies instead of playing right field during little league baseball. I eat like a family of 4. I also get paid to prematurely relieve the lives of bad guys in foreign lands, but I haven't had the opportunity to get blowed up yet. It will happen. I hope.I was once dared to circumcise myself, but we all know how that turned out...So, now that I'm no longer a male, I guess I could be considered a lesbian. I played the fiddle for 27 years in a previous life. I was taking a shit in the theatre restrooms when Lincoln got shot. I believe that "Soko" is only 3 letters long. Nothing chaps my ass like salt water and orange juice, but only when applied to the colon at the same time, and in freezing temperatures, with a slight breeze. I wake up in the morning and piss urine. Sometimes I even shit fecies. Other times, I shit front end loaders, but a tad smaller.There's only 2 people on this planet who can read this- the person who typed it(me), and you, the person who's reading it. Feel priveledged. Is it wierd that my testicles constantly itch and it burns when I pee? And what the fuck are these lumps from? And in more recent news, Soko has to poop."People may doubt what you say but they will believe what you do."be careful what you say to someone you love, cuz it might be the last thing you'll ever get to say to them...AND IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW....LUCKY CHARMS IS THE MOST GOODEST CEREAL ON THIS PLANET OF OURS....OKLUVYABUHBYE....

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

YOU. no, not you....but YOU! over there! yep, right there. YOU.I recently put skylights in my living room...The people that live in the apartment upstairs are PISSED!

My Blog

Whoopie Cushions...

...are the most amazingly simple toys ever! Like, if you sit on one, it sounds like you farted. That's because the air rushes out of them at a great speed, causing friction on the rubber where th...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:44:00 GMT

Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow does not yet exist...

Two Days We Should Never Worry About...There are two days in every week about which we should not worry about,two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.One of these days is Yesterd...
Posted by on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 17:35:00 GMT

My new life...

One day, I shall marry a carnie, and upon uniting with this carnie, I will begin my journey through a new life. There will be bearded women, and midgets, and super strong barrel chested dooods, along ...
Posted by on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 15:56:00 GMT

Life is a strange concept...

Everyone is their own person. Some people are arrogant. Some are down to earth. Some aren't happy with themselves, while others have pride. Some people are just waiting around to see what's next. And ...
Posted by on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 09:41:00 GMT

Random...VERY random.

It's dark, and the sun isn't out. The natives call it "night." There's a jackalope frolicking through the meadows. I can smell the beautiful aroma of cow fecies from the field next door. I think I jus...
Posted by on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 08:14:00 GMT

Soko built a srrrvey...Literally.

Yes, you read it correctly. This is an original srrrvey written by Soko(me). I wrote the questions, and answered them too...I'm curious as to who will make an attempt at answering them, and reposting ...
Posted by on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 00:23:00 GMT

The man who wasn't there...

This was NOT originally written by me, but I feel this way...If anyone actually understands... As I was coming down the stairs I met a man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today I wish that man ...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 00:40:00 GMT

Peanut butter jelly time!

I just built myself a peanut butter and jelly sammich, well, 4 peanut butter and jelly sammiches...I'm eadin them as I type this, not simultaneously, but I stop every few wrrrds to take a big fat bite...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 13:53:00 GMT

A day I will never forget...

I was tracking the beast for what seemed like days. The sun sat low in the partially cloudy sky. I was feeling weak, and tired, for I had not eaten in over 13 minutes. There was a slight breeze which&...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:27:00 GMT

Iss gonna be fuu un...

....So this guy says to me, "If he were a TRUE lumberjack, he would've wiped HIS ass with YOUR hand...." And that, my friend, is how I contracted gonorrhea from a farm tractor...
Posted by on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 17:29:00 GMT