Corey O'Connor, 20, died Monday in Nashville, TN. He was attacked by guard dogs at the estate of John Anthony Gillis. He ran away and jumped into a lagoon, but Corey never went to school so he didn't know that dogs could swim. They devoured him shortly thereafter. He died with his wife, Katherine Marie Morrison, 18.
Born into a family of wolves on September 11, 1988, Corey learned the basics of basketball, as he was born into a basketball-playing wolf family. He soon was adopted by Michael Jordan and became an honorary member of the Chicago Bulls. There, he learned how to refill Jordan's water bottle, polish his Air Jordans with a steel bristled brush, and how to wipe sweat properly from one's forehead. His skills as a "slave" earned him a spot in the controversial 1997 Guilliani Robero fashion campaign, featuring slaves and their masters. It went to the Italian Supreme Court, where it was ruled that all pictures had to be taken out of print.
After Corey's fall from the fame of the modeling world, he fell into a tailspin of despair, drugs, and gay sex. He tried to build a rocketship, but failed. While on the way to the rocketship supply store one day, he met a girl named Katie Morrison. They found they shared a similar interest in rocketships, but also in the musical act, The White Stripes. Corey also mentioned that he liked My Chemical Romance, but Katie slapped him.
The two started a company dedicated to the sole purpose of the making of gramophones and graphic novels about kittens. Their business, Fuck Meg White, prospered in the southeast of Iran and they moved there in December of 1999. After a few years in the Middle East, they returned to the United States and lived a life in recluse and seclusion in a space pod in the Appalachain Mountains.
He is survived by 52 cats.
In conclusion, Corey lived a very full and prosperous life, full of sex and money.
-Katie Morrison (his wife) (who is also dead)
