♥//cejayy

I sit and think every night how life would be different if Jeff was still here. I sometimes even have dreams about how life would be if he was still here. Its been almost a year and I still have these dreams sometimes I even see his face in the clouds. I would just love to get one more chance to just tell him how much I love him and care for him and no matter what I will always be here for him. I miss Jeffery with all my heart and sometimes I just try to wake myself up from this awful nightmare that Ive been living since April 19, 2005. I never thought that someone could lose their life at such a young age. Jeff was killed in a tragic car accident on April 19, 2005, But what really made his death hurt worst was that his last couple of weeks with us couldnt have been worst. Jeff had been getting harassed at school by a couple of guys just because of the color of his skin. Myself I didnt see color when I looked at Jeff he was just like everyone else he loved to joke around and just hang out with his friends and he was so sweet. To this day his death lays on my shoulders I feel I was the cause of this horrifying event. I think what if I just kept my mouth shut and wouldnt have told him that those guys had called him those degrading names than maybe he would still be here with us today. I know that he is in a much better place now but it just isnt the same without him. I only meet Jeff a couple of months before his death so I didnt really know him like I wanted to but I did know him enough to know that he didnt desire to die. No one desires to die that young, he didnt even get to graduate from middle school he still had his whole life to live. This is one of the hardest things that ever happened to me. I miss Jeff with all my heart and I just wish that I could go back in time and keep him from going through all that pain of being harassed and maybe somehow keep him and his family from hitting that pole. See I go passed where he wreck every time I go to my grandmas it kills me to see it. I mean I tell myself -Court, dont look at it you know you dont want to? But somehow I always seem to look at it. It kills me to know that thats where one of my best friends died. The day he died I made him a promise while we were at school that no matter what happened I would always have his back and I still do. I dont think that the immature guys that did that to him got what they desired I mean they didnt even get punished. So whyd Jeff have to be punished? It just doesnt make since to me, whyd he have to be punished for being a different race, that didnt change him; he was still a young boy who didnt know that his life would be cut short! It came without a warning. And I just hope that everyone learned something from this awful tragedy, that just because someone my look different to the human eye doesnt mean that they shouldnt be treated the same. We all were created by God so that makes us just a like in someway, so whatever may come in your life just remember to treat others the way you want to be treated no matter the race, religion or any other differences.
I miss you so much Jeff and we all wish you were with us... Our love to you always!

I MISS YOU SOO MUCH BUBBY♥ ILOVEYOU!!