I'm a big fuckin' dick
I'm a pain in your ass
I drink all your beer
I'll eat the last slice
I'll give you charley horses
I'll pull your shorts down at the beach
I always need a ride
Nobody likes meI spit when I talk
I swear in front of your mother
I throw shit at the movies
I wear tight pants
I ask you to buy an extra Yankee ticket
And then I don't show
I tell you I saw your girlfriend
Fucking two guys at a partyI'll piss on your toilet seat and tell your dad you got stoned
I'll borrow your jacket and never think of returning itI'll leave your gate open
So your dog runs away
I'll make fun of your pimple
Then I'll grab your sister's assAnd I don't care
And I don't give a shitI'll break your brother's stereo
And then tell him it was you
You think you're better than me
Well you're fucking wrongEverybody knows I'm Chelsea Motherfucking FrancoDeal with it
