Eric Welty profile picture

Eric Welty

I am here for Friends

About Me

Well....i think iam 30 years old...maybe 31. Iam a professional hockey player...but iam not on a big team and they dont pay me much...or at all really....ok i like hockey. I have 2 absolutely fucking cute as hell kids.....when they are sleeping....they drove me to pull all of my f ing hair out. I get laid all the time...actually too much...so ladies dont even think about it....iam taken. Plus Iam a lezbian!.....I work my ass off and iam trying to quit smoking......tabacco that is. Puff Puff give Jigga What!! I love carpet....i love desk.....i love lamp.

My Interests

I like to play hockey.....and somtimes soccer...actually never soccer cause i suck at it...but iam pretty f ing great at hockey. I dont like to read all that much...well does Playboy count...they have great articles. I have never seen the Matrix.....so if you wanna talk about the Matrix..dont even bother. I love Horror films....and comedies. Iam pretty good with a bow staff too.

I'd like to meet:

actaully i have all the friends i need.....too many..so iam cutting some of you out of my life.....you know who you are!!!!...Honestly though I'd like to meet Wayne Brady....he is one funny motha Phucka!!....Also Will Ferrell...and chicks with big boobs...or big asses.....or really just have all their teeth.

Music:

Jay Z, Biggie, Pac, Beastie Boys, i think i kinda like jimmy buffett...is that weird...i like music i can chill to...you know smoke to..bob marley, dave matthews, Jack Johnson.....I also secretly love Tori Amos.....and Ratt, Poison, Van Halen, Nat King Cole, Floyd, Zepplin, Motley Crue, Ricky martin, Metallica, Black sabbath, Barry Manilow, System of a Down, The Deftones and friggin ACE OF BASE BITCHES!!!!!!!

Movies:

Anchorman, Old School, Elf, Wedding Crashers, Airplane, Shaun of the Dead, Texas Chainsaw, Friday the 13th part 4 and The Sound Of Music. I have never seen any of those Lord of the Rings movies.....yawn...or any of those Matrix movies...yawn yawn..and I have never seen any of the Star Warsezezez...whatever....f ing sci fir geeks rot in hell!!...especially Brent...you are a true sci fi DICK!!!...but i still love you....for real....oh hell and i friggin love Napolean Dynamite....GOSH!!!

Television:

Chapelle Show, Whos line is it anyway?, Reno 911, Spice Channel and Dora the Friggin Explorer

Books:

Ive never read a book in my freakin life.......i barely have time to take a shit.

Heroes:

Spiderman, Ron Burgundy and Ron Jeremy...if that guy can get all that tang...then Ive def got a shot.