Wicked Queenie

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I'm an example of the eventual failure of something that was originally successful.
Most know me as Queenie; some as "Nicky", or "BITCH". I'm a former Hide-n-Seek pro, but due to my ninja skills, no one will play with me anymore...apparently I'm too good. I've been taking in larger doses of reality since my attorney advised me that life in Florida on Ether is not good. I am a dynamic figure. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't ever perspire. Children trust me. I have performed several covert operations for CTU. I sleep once a week; when I do, I sleep upright in a chair with one eye open. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. In my spare time, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But, I have not yet gone to college. Believe that? I've got some land that I want to sell you!
"Tip of the day - never follow a hippie to a 2nd location..."