The Brian Mackey profile picture

The Brian Mackey

Lights, camera, MACTION!

About Me

I think tall, dark and handsome is overrated. So I feature tall, white, and semi-handsome. That is where the magic happens. I have a tendancy to sing at every possible occassion, highlighted by my 30 minute shower concerts every morning. I dance far too much for my own good and actually have the coordination that most white boys lack. It's all in the hips. I am also the Central Virginia Spooning Champion '08, as long as I'm the big spoon. There have been some disastrous moments when someone else has attempted to fulfill my role as the big spoon. My main goals in life are to make every situation fun, make every situation fun for those around me, and to actually do something with my life that will be of benefit to people (I'm still working on this one).I have a couple of things going for me that you should be made aware of: 1) I don't really care what anyone outside of my family or best friends think about me, and it shows. 2) I have no inner monolog. 3) Do you know that little thing in your brain that all your thoughts pass through and it gives you a green light or a red light depending on whether they should be said in public or not? Well I have one, but it is constantly stuck on green.

My Interests

I'm going to go about this in a different way. I'm going to list things that don't interest me and we can both gripe about how crappy these things really are. "Geez I hate Punky Brewster too" is a much better conversation starter than "Boy, we both like pizza." Don't you agree? So things I am not interested include but are not limited to: broccoli, text books, the republican national convention, the democratic national convention, white guys who try to be black, black guys who try to be white, people with more musical talent than me, people who pop their collars, people who think salmon and fuscia are not pink, guys who add 'izzle' at the end of every word, the stock market, McDonalds, Elton John, people who hate puppies, atheists, spinach, pretty much all green vegetables, old men who walk around the locker room with no towel on, old men who call me 'sport,' old women who pinch my cheeks and are amazed by their elasticity, assholes, snobs, tricked out bitches, heroine addicts, sugar addicts, plus size people who wear tube tops and spandex, skinny people who wear underarmor, anything Anne Bromely tells you, people who don't appreciate a good bat wing, people with private profiles, people who keep their profiles public but leave their pictures private and of course... Jello.

I'd like to meet:

Fun people, fun people, and even more fun people. Life is too short to be sad and spend all your time waiting for something to happen to you. I'm a doer. I make things happen. I like to grab life by the balls and tug them along until I get what I"m after. I would want to meet people who share a similar mentality or are at least willing to hop on for the ride.I am a MAJOR goof (some may say dork, but I prefer goof), so you need to be able to come to terms with that.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Brian
Birthday: 10/23/82
Birthplace: Albany, NY
Current Location: Charlottesville, VA
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'2"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Irish, Scotch (basically "shay")
The Shoes You Wore Today: black strappy pumps
Your Weakness: Fast food and fast women
Your Fears: Being a 80 year old man whose balls hang down to his knees
Your Perfect Pizza: Served on top of Kelly Ripa's naked body
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Being able to breathe under water
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: shya
Thoughts First Waking Up: I am going to kill the man who invented alarm clocks
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes, but my penis is spectacular (see the 2/10/06 blog)
Your Bedtime: 12 - 1am
Your Most Missed Memory: Screaming profanity at prospective VT students on the campus tour out of my window in West Egg
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi. Generation next bitchface.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Subway, eat fresh
Single or Group Dates: I'm not an orgy guy, so I'll stick with single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea is where it's at.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Nothing beats a pair of brown sugars
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither. They all taste horrible. Starbucks is the anti-Christ
Do you Smoke: Only when trying to start a fire. Meowwww
Do you Swear: Like a sailor with Tourette's.
Do you Sing: Come check out my daily shower, car, and various happy to be alive concerts sponsored by Balinda Carlisle.
Do you Shower Daily: When it suites me and when I feel like singing.
Have you Been in Love: No. I'm cold as ice.
Do you want to go to College: I'm done with college. There were too many classes and responsibilities.
Do you want to get Married: Why do you ask this? Are you available?
Do you belive in yourself: Well no one else does, so somebody's got to do it.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when being tied to a bumper and dragged for a few miles
Do you think you are Attractive: In the dark I'm goregous.
Are you a Health Freak: If my body was a spaceship, it would be the Millenium Falcon, excuse me Willenium.
Do you get along with your Parents: I disappoint them everyday.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Like peanut butter on my eggs.
Do you play an Instrument: I'm not what you would call "musically gifted."
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: ::shakes magic 8 ball:: 'all signs point to yes'
In the past month have you Smoked: BDM wouldn't do that main.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I only get high on life and sweet loving
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Never date a cross-eyed girl. You can never tell when she is looking at you.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Where else are you going to find the latest trendssss in sssssshoesssss?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I don't so much eat Oreos as I have sex with them.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Raw fish makes me want to vomit and have sex with a merman. MERMAN!
In the past month have you been on Stage: I like to think I live my life on a stage, but truthfully yes.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No. I still have emotional scars from that last slut. You heard me, you are a FILTHY WHORE Bruce! I never want to see you again
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Okay, does it count if I'm the only one who's naked and I'm not so much in a pool as I am running around a neighborhood?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I steal the innocense of children everyday
Ever been Drunk: I have been known to dabble in the sweet alcoholic nectures that mother nature has provided us from time to time.
Ever been called a Tease: I have and it's only because I'm a horrible person punch-drunk on power.
Ever been Beaten up: Yes, thank you high school.
Ever Shoplifted: I steal the hearts of young ladies every day.
How do you want to Die: I want something EXTREME. Something where I explode and it takes a couple of days to wipe my residue off of a 2 mile radius.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Paris Hilton's play toy
What country would you most like to Visit: The Republic of Labia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: something dark
Short or Long Hair: Long. I need something to grab onto. I have a real problem with hair.
Height: huge, 7'0" I'm looking for an Amazon woman.
Weight: average to quite average
Best Clothing Style: full monty bebe
Number of Drugs I have taken: Whatever floats your boat so long as the twitching and scratching are kept to a minimum.
Number of CDs I own: If I'm judging you by your cd collection, you must be perfect.
Number of Piercings: Too many piercings = Brian not cised
Number of Tattoos: Too many tatoos = Brian running for the bathroom
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Number? I expect you not to be able to quantify such rediculousness.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Music:

Everything from the 80s, and then it depends on the mood. Punk and fast hip hop when running. Hard rock and alternative when lifting weights or being angry. Adult contemporary when trying to relax or sleep. Pop when the mood strikes me. Hip hop and techno when dancing. Classical when I'm trying to feel intellectual. Oldies when I want to think how cool things were in the 60s and 70s. Country sometime after I die.

Movies:

Mean Girls, Waiting to Exhale, Sense and Sensibility, The Notebook, The Bridges of Madison County, The American President, American Beauty, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Beaches, Steel Magnolias, The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, Miss Congeneality, She's All That, Ghost, Sixteen Candles, Footloose, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Bring It On, Might Ducks 2, Stuart Little, Turner and Hooch, Splash, An Officer and a Gentleman, Brokeback Mountain, etc.Take the quiz:
Which Mean Girls Character Are you? (girlz)

Regina George
Your the hottest girl in school.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
What Celebrity Bootay Do You Have? (pics)


Beyonce
Youre sexy and know how to shake what your momma gave you!
Take The Quiz Now! Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Television:

Scrubs is by far the best thing TV has going for it. You really need to watch it so JD and my boys don't get cancelled.South Park is always great for pushing the envelope and making me laugh. Family Guy goes along those same lines. Real World is still great despite it's recent bout with suckiness. Saved By The Bell has been a part of my life since was 9ish. That isn't going to change anytime soon. Oh Zack, when will you ever learn?

Books:

So since 2001 I have avoided reading at all costs, and had been extremely successful until mid 2006 when I walked through Walmart and passed a $5 copy of the DaVinci Code. I told myself I would never read that book because everyone else had, but the movie was coming out soon and I wanted to know what the fuss was about. So I read the whole book... in three days. It's nice to see that someone besides me, Leonardo DaVinci, is obsessed with the female form. Way to go Leo. Since that time I've been reading about one book a month, elevating me from dork to SuperEXTREME NerdDork.

Heroes:

Enrique Iglesias should be everyone's hero baby; because he will take away your pain. He will stand by you foreeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr. He will take... your breath away. He will be.... your hero.... ..

My Blog

5/18/08 - Behind the Blog: Journey

They'rrrrrrreeeeee baaaaaaaack.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, the original kings of the monster ballad have returned to relevance.  After nearly 20 years, Journey is back! It is safe ...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Mon, 19 May 2008 05:15:00 PST

5/6/08 - Live Free or Die Ugly

That is the motto for the state of New Hampshire.  They proudly display it on their license plates.  I'm sure Maine has something similar.  "We put the 'what the fuck' in 'what the fuck...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Tue, 06 May 2008 01:13:00 PST

4/16/08 - Celebrity Mass

Charlottesville, VA was ranked the 1 place to live in America way back in 2004.  The report that made that bold statement cited the beautiful mountains, the culture, the stuffy UVA atmosphere, th...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 07:16:00 PST

3/25/08 - Stalker 3234

Every now and again I am reminded that 98.7% of the people in this world are absolutely out of their minds.  I also am constantly reminded that myspace seems to embolden these crazy fuckers into ...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:59:00 PST

2/19/08 - Self Image

We all have preconceived notions of how we appear to the world.  For example, I think I am a downright awesome human being.  However, my opinion and a hand on guy's butt is only going to get...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:02:00 PST

1/29/08 - Saved By The Bell All-Start Status

I am a moy of many talents.  I am a singer and a dancer.  I can design buildings and pass off the responsibility of actually constructing said buildings to others.  I have won my fair s...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 12:32:00 PST

1/15/08 - Fashion Alert - Tight Pants

I have gone so far as to contact VDOT to help me out on this one.  I have requested that Amber Alerts be posted on the I-64, I-81 and I-95 corridors.  Ladies and gentlemen I call on you to a...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 02:03:00 PST

1/10/07 - Virginia Tech, A Consistent Disappointment Since 2000 - Part I

Virginia Tech has actually been disappointing people since its inception in 1872.  From what I hear, Thomas Jefferson (TJ) was highly disappointed that an institution other than his beloved Unive...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 08:10:00 PST

12/19/07 - Go for Immortality

Shhh.  Did you hear that?  Listen closely.  Still nothing?  You are probably so used to the sound now that you cannot even distinguish it from the white noise that fills the room.&...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 07:42:00 PST

12/04/07 - Im Back and Im Angry

In case you were wondering, I didn't fall into a blogging black hole.  I merely took some time to reevaluate the things that really bother me in life.  Do you know what I hate?  If you...
Posted by The Brian Mackey on Tue, 04 Dec 2007 01:22:00 PST