My life is a very interesting story that started at a young age, in the womb my mom craved one thing “coat hanger.” The first day I was born I knew I was going to be a wrestling champion but quickly threw out that idea due to numerous genetic defects through my moms incessant drinking and coat hanger attempts at me. That’s when I learned how to beat up old ladies from Angelo a fat bald Italian with anger problems. On the second day I was born I knew I wanted to work at a waffle house because waffles are amazing and are gods gift to me. I knew to maintain my waffle house job I needed to maintain a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning , if my face is a little puffy, i'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. Then I inspect my hands and use a nail brush. I take the ice-pack mask off and use a deep-pore cleanser lotion, then an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for ten minutes while I check my toenails. In the shower I use first a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scub. I use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol. I never use cologne on my face because the high alcohol content dries out your face and makes you look older. Then I use an anti-aging eye balm fallowed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. I am handsome, well educated and intelligent. I work by day at the waffle house. By 15 I knew that I would be a pickelball champion so I trained for that day by day sadly I did not hit puberty in time for the championships. When I was 19 I hit puberty after numerous failed sexual encounters with female counterparts. I peed in them a little to fake it but they always came out disappointed. That’s when I came to coe college but was quickly kicked out because the NRA and second amendment was not on my side at the time. This is my life I am a Jason wenger. PS bear Grill the guy on the discovery channel is the most amazing man on earth he took out a rabbit with a stick and he ate a dead zebra he just found laying there.... he eats snakes whole while there still alive maybe one day i will be as cool as him.