Batttttty

I hate Myspace.com. One reason for that is because it devalues the meaning of the word 'friend', but apart from that, there are a zillllllion other reasons. Read on, dear 'friend'....
How it works is... a band (let's call them The Nonbeatles, for the sake of argument) thinks you're requesting to add them because you're a fan of The Nonbeatles and the more friends they can get, the better people will think they are - whilst at the same time, 9,768 poor sad grey-underpanted fellas sitting in their bedrooms think they will get some kinda personal glory from having The Nonbeatles in their Top 12 'friends'. Pathetic.
And of course, this is where the deviously-ambiguous 'Thanks for the add' mantra comes into its own - cos who's to know whether YOU added THEM, or THEY added YOU???? Hah! Brilliant! If I request to add Paul McCartney, then everyone will think that Paul McCartney wants to be my friend! Wow I'm gonna be sooooo popular (with all the dust-mites here in my lonely bedroom).
Maybe one day these poor deluded souls will realise that Paul McCartney is NOT their friend, Paris Hilton is NOT their friend, Jimi Hendrix is DEAD, but wouldn't even have been their friend even when he was alive.
I admit, there are good things about anybody'n'everybody having a web presence and being accessible to their genuine friends, but there's so much shyte to wade through to get to where you wanna go. For instance... you open a page, a song starts playing (all good so far) and then, bugggggger me, eight seconds into the song you hear a load of bleedn smiley faces shouting above it, completely drowning out the tune. Ridiculous.
And don't start me on the page-design aspect of it all. No... don't start me... One day the internet will collapse under the weight of all this totally unnecessary flickering flashing floating feckin overlapping junk.
And let me warn you here and now that if your javascript-laden four-videos-and-a-song-all-trying-to-play-at-once with a font-competing-for-brightness-against-its-background sorry excuse for a webpage causes my own computer to crash or even to slow down, you aint no friend of mine and never will be.
And also don't start me on the fruitless task of trying to get a response from Myspace 'Support'.... Myspace Suppository more like. Useless. A robot answers a question you haven't asked, with an answer that doesn't apply. I saidddd.... DON'T START ME!!!
But apparently if you work in the music business in any capacity at all, you're nobody unless you have a Myspace account. And I aint very good at being a Nobody, so.... here I am - against my will, but resigned to the fact that I have to be here - surrounded by people I've never heard of who send me sparkly glittery messages about what a beautiful person I am and how wonderful life is when everything's covered in glittery sparkles and soft cooey gooey fluffy pink cascading hearts. Don't start me.....
And what's gonna happen when everyone is everyone's friend and we're all in each other's extended network. 100 billion human beings all living in sparkly fluffy pink cascading heart javascript'n'smiley-face harmony. An end to all wars, an end to all prejudices, and no more global conflict!
Wow! I'll look forward to THAT day! Yeh... right....
You can join my 'extended network' if you want. Or not if you don't want. Either way, I'll still make ya buy a t-shirt if ever you're within 25 yards of me. And don't think I won't.