bikes, booze, and "bitches"!
As well as:
Driving, shooting guns, airsoft, reading, camping, model building, architecture, birds, flying, traveling, sailing(despite my seasickness), riding dirt bikes, hiking, playing pool, pinball, etc etc... shiny objects...
She stepped outside into the morning air To watch the cars go by and let the sun dry her hair I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was
But I just stared
I sat behind the wheel and watched the raindrops
As they gathered on the windshield
And raced down into the humming motor
And she folded up her fears like paper airplanes
And lost them in the trees
And I know I don't deserve this
The capacity to feel
To laugh and cry and to praise
For that I live and breathe and wake each day
Is nothing less than your grace
In awkward and glorious movement
One Testimony in trials that never got heard
my lovers teeth are white geese flying above me my lovers muscles are rope ladders under my hands
we were driving home slow my lover and I, across the long Bay Bridge, one February midnight, when midway over in the far left lane, I saw a strange scene:
one small young man standing by the rail, and in the lane itself, parked straight across as if it could stop anything, a large young man upon a stalled motorcycle, perfectly relaxed as if he'd stopped at a hamburger stand; he was wearing a peacoat and levis, and he had his head back, roaring, you could almost hear the laugh, it was so real. "Look at that fool," I said, "in the middle of the bridge like that," a very womanly remark.
Then we heard the meaning of the noise of metal on a concrete bridge at 50 miles an hour, and the far left lane filled up with a big car that had a motorcycle jammed on its front bumper, like the whole thing would explode; the friction sparks shot up bright orange for many feet into the air, and the racket still sets my teeth on edge.
When the car stopped we stopped parallel and Wendy headed for the callbox while I ducked across those 6 lanes like a mouse in the bowling alley. "Are you hurt?" I said, the middle-aged driver had the greyest black face, "I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop, what happened?"
Then I remembered. "Somebody, " I said, "was on the motorcycle." I ran back, one block? two blocks? The space for walking on the bridge is maybe 18 inches, whoever engineered this arrogance. in the dark stiff wind it seemed I would be pushed over the rail, would fall down screaming onto the hard surface of the bay, but I did not, I found the tall young man who thought he owned the bridge, now lying on his stomach, head cradled in his broken arm.
He had glasses on, but somewhere he had lost most of his levis, where were they? And his shoes. Two short cuts on his buttocks, that was the only mark except his thin white seminal tubes were all strung out behind; no child left in him; and he looked asleep.
I plucked wildly at his wrist, then put it down; there were two long haired women holding back the traffic just behind me with their bare hand, the machines came down like mad bulls, I was scared, much more than usual, I felt easily squished like the earthworms crawling on a busy sidewalk after the rain; I wanted to leave. And met the driver, walking back.
"The guy is dead." I gripped his hand, the wind was going to blow us off the bridge.
"Oh my God" he said, "haven't I had enough trouble in my life?" He raised his head, and for a second was enraged and yelling, at the top of the bridge "I was just driving home!" His head fell down. "My God, and now I've killed somebody."
I looked down at my own peacoat and levis, then over at the dead man's friend, who was bawling and blubbering, what they would call hysteria in a woman. "It isn't possible" he wailed, but it was possible, it was indeed, accomplished and unfeeling, snoring in its peacoat, and without its levis on.
He died laughing: that's a fact.
I had a woman waiting for me, in her car and in the middle of the bridge, I'm frightened, I said. I'm afraid, he said, stay with me, please don't go, stay with me, be my witness "No," I said, "I'll be your witness later," and I took his name and number, "but I can't stay with you, I'm too frightened of the bridge, besides I have a woman waiting and no license and no tail lights " So I left as I have left so many of my lovers.
we drove home shaking, Wendy's face greyer than any white person's I have ever seen. maybe he beat his wife, maybe he once drove taxi, and raped a lover of mine how to know these things? we do each other in, that's a fact.
who will be my witness? death wastes our time with drunkenness and depression death, who keeps us from our lovers. he had a woman waiting for him, I found when I called the number days later
"Where is he" she said, "he's disappeared/" "He'll be all right" I said, "we could have hit the guy as easy as anybody, it wasn't anybody's fault, they'll know that," women so often say dumb things like that, they teach us to be sweet and reassuring, and say ignorant things, because we don't invent the crime, the punishment, the bridges
that same week I looked into the mirror and nobody was there to testify; how clear, and unemployed queer woman makes no witness at all, nobody at all was there for those two questions: what does she do, and who is she married to?
I am the woman who stopped on the bridge and this is the man who was there our lovers teeth are white geese flying above us, but we ourselves are easily squished.
keep the women small and weak and off the street, and off the bridges, that's the way, brother one day I will leave you there, as I have left you there before, working for death.
we found out later what we left him to. Six big policemen answered the call, all white, and no child in them. they put the driver up against his car and beat the hell out of him. What did you kill that poor kid for? you mutherfucking nigger. that's a fact.
Death only uses violence when there is any kind of resistance, the rest of the time a slow weardown will do.
They took him to 4 different hospitals til they got a drunk test report to fit their case, and held him five days in jail without a phone call. how many lovers have we left.
there are as many contradictions to the game, as there are players. a woman is talking to death, though talk is cheap, and like takes a long time to make right. He got a cheesy lawyer who had him cop a plea, 15 to 20 instead of life Did I say life?
the arrogant young man who thought he owned the bridge, and fell asleep on it he died laughing: that's a fact. the driver sits out his time off the street somewhere, does he have the most vacant of eyes, will he die laughing?
a table they made and on it was laid a baby we gave and I'm so dry mud cracked I maybe we deny where these walls won't let go of my eyes we made a circle of smoke on a train please same me from saying it was easy we were driving across the bridge so slow he lost his child in the snow
Right now:
Belle Epoque, Sinaloa, Twelve Hour Turn, Maximillian Colby, The Sleepytime Trio, Amanda Woodward, Ampere, Pg.99, Cap'n Jazz, Built To Spill, La Quiete, Cantena Collapse, Christie Front Drive, City of Caterpillar, Daitro, Do Make Say Think, Envy, Explosions in The Sky, Funeral Diner, The Get Up Kids, I Love You Avalanche, I Hate Myself, Joshua Fit For Battle, Kaospilot, Louise Cyphre, Mohinder, Neil Perry, Mum, Mogwai, Godspeed, Kind of Like Spitting, Nexus 6, NoFx, Orchid, Psara, Raein, Racebannon, Reversal of Man, Saetia, Combatwoundedveteran, Songs Ohia, The Shivering, Pig Destroyer, 1905, Yaphet Kotto, Yann Tiersen, Welcome The Plague Year, Botch, Dillenger Escape Plan, The Warriors, Voxtrot, Usurp Synapse, All-Time Quarterback, Transistor Transistor, Three Mile Pilot, The Thermals, Texas Is The Reason, This Machine Kills, Comeback Kid, Talkdemonic, Rise Against, Ragina Spektor, Rainer Maria, Radiohead, Propagandhi, Against Me, The Andrew Jackson Jihad, Mineral, Minus The Bear, Modest Mouse, The Appleseed Cast, Mirah, Ben Gibbard, Beulah, The Black Heart Procession, Boys Life, Braid, Chain of Strength, Circle Takes The Square, Cursive, The Daughters, Pedro The Lion, A Day in Black and White, From a Second Story Window, Deathcab For Cutie, Drive Like Jehu, Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, Engine Down, The Flaming Lips, Geoff Farina, Heroin, Jets To Brazil, The Joggers, Lily Allen, Mates of State, Miss Murgatroid, The Misfits, Murder City Devils, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, The Pixies, The Pogues, The Promise Ring, and god knows what else.
I like lots of movies... saying which would take some time...
Deadwood, Rome, Generation Kill, Lost, 30 Rock, The Office, Kitchen Nightmares, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, Iron Chef, The Venture Brothers, Squid Billies, Metalocalypse, Home Movies, Sealab2021, Space Ghost, Harvey Birdman, The Brak Show, TriGun, Shin Chan, Firefly, My Name is Earl, Cold Case Files, American Justice(and all the other A&E Crime shows), Mythbusters, etcetcetc
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
I read lots of books. About to finish the Dark Tower series. Pretty effin' good.
These People(*click here*)
and my dad.