About Me
"I'm the girl that can watch tons of horror movies without getting scared, but screams at the top of her lungs when toast pops out of the toaster"
To put it simply: I do not care what people think about me. I've come to terms with who I am, so whether or not other people accept me is not one of my prime concerns. I take pride in who I am, and it's taken years to be able to do so. If you're annoyed by my sense of humor, personality, appearance, or very presence...you're going to have to save your breath and learn to deal with it. I won't be changing for you anytime soon.:]
In the past, I was known to be intimidatingly shy. I was always the "quiet girl" at school, and getting me to talk at all would practically take a miracle. While I am certainly no social-butterfly these days, I am a lot easier to get to know now. Sometimes I am still shy; sometimes I'm obnoxiously hyper and loud. It really just depends on how comfortable I am with you...or how much caffeine I have consumed. I'm definitely more so "one of the boys" than anything else. I loathe drama (especially high school drama) and therefore don't find myself hanging out with girls too often anymore. I can go to a lan party, play with a Shamwow for hours, and be more than happy. I'm just that hXc. Be jealous. ;D
Trust is something I have major issues with. While I've been becoming more and more outgoing over the years, my inability to trust many people has been a constant. To this date, there are only three people I feel comfortable confiding in..and they know who they are. On a tangent, lying is the other major issue I have. I cannot stand being lied to. Ever. I always prefer knowing the blunt truth at the time rather than finding it out later. If you want to hurt me, lying to me is a great way to do so.
Personality-wise: I am extremely open-minded, kind, random, upbeat, and I practically starve for laughter. I am a sinner, cynic, pessimist, optimist, skeptic, liar, klutz (I have the grace of an elephant on stilts), nerd, pop-culture whore, "loser by many's standards, partial narcissist, partier, liberal, believer, rebel, rule-abider, loyal friend, hopeful, girlfriend, and an altogether walking contradiction.
I believe that once you turn to war-you've already lost. I also believe that our universe is far too perfect to be a mere "fluke of science." I am no religious zealot by far, but I do believe that god exists in some form. I attempt to stay away from organized religion, but I've recently discovered Unitarian universalism..which seems to be perfect for me. I don't believe any one religion has everything right..and that no one has the right to try to copyright their idea of God, forcing others to agree.
I've been in love, and I've had those butterflies in my stomach for weeks at a time. I've also had my heart broken and handed back to me in pieces. Despite all that, I still believe in love as much as always. I truly believe it is the greatest feeling in the world, and is always worth it whether it ends in tears or not. Tears; however, are in no way part of my life at the moment. I have a breath-takingly amazing boyfriend by the name of Cole Alexander Holt (4-17-09) who I find myself falling for more and more with each passing day. He is one of the most open-minded, spiritual, and optimistic people I have ever known. I trust him with like I've never trusted anyone else before, and thanks to him, I now find it easier to open up about my emotions to others as well. We can talk about literally anything for hours at a time, and if words fail us, we can spend an equal amount of time simply cuddling. (A task at which he is a master at) Some may say that love isn't something that you can find in such a short amount of time. Others may even say that love can't be found in your teenage years. I most certainly disagree with both. I still get butterflies just hearing his voice...or from feeling his hand brush up against mine. We've shared our pasts. We are sharing our present. And quite frankly, I'd love to share our futures together also. Colebaby, I love you.
As far as sexual orientation goes...I'm not straight. I'm not bi or gay either. I'm just me. You can't control who you fall in love with anymore than you can control the weather. Love is love - and is completely unbiased. People need to learn to fucking deal with that.
All in all, I'm pretty damn stellar. It's up to you to decide if you hate me or love me. I strongly suggest that you adore me though. ;D
My future is still something completely shrouded in mystery. Even to this day, I still don't know what exactly I want out of life, or what I want for myself. Career-wise, I have only vague clues. Possibly a future chemist, nurse, nurse anesthesiologist, psychiatrist, pharmacist, or clinical lab scientist. I figure I still have some time to decide what exactly I want to do with my life. In the meantime, I am going to Miami Hamilton. It's not exactly what I had in mind for myself, but at least it's a start. :) I plan or hope to switch to a different school next year. (UC, Xavier?) ...Things to worry about in the future. For now, I just try to live life day by day, moment to moment, and party to party. Afterall, life is far too important to take seriously all the time. I don't want to get caught up in planning, when I could just be out living. That's all I want now...to live life to its fullest...and to be able to say that I am truly happy with how I live. :)
