About Me
I am my father's prodigal son. I am an overwhelming under-achiever and constant disapointment to friends and family. I am difficult to get to know and even harder to like, but I have a saving grace or two. I am fiercely loyal to those close to me. I am brutally honest (unless I'm at work, as much as I want to tell the annoying, half-retarded drunk at my bar that not only do I know every alcohol fueled word of his self-indulgent tales are lies, but so does everyone else in the bar, when you earn a living on tips, I find it's best to use tact. Honesty don't always pay the bills). I also make wicked good shots and martinis. I am sarcastic, cynical, dry, sometimes witty and most of the time (I think anyway) hillarious. Did I mention I tend to be self-absorbed? I love to read, primarily fiction but I have been entertaining myself lately by reading books on neurological and pyschological disorders and self-diagnosing. A.D.D., I got that. O.C.D., just a touch. Dyslexia explains my poor spelling. There are more, but I'm getting bored writing about it. I also love movies, even bad ones. Especially bad ones, actually. Movies so crap-tasticly written, directed, acted and produced, I'm convinced they are works of under appreciated genius. Of all my favorite shitty movies ("The Karate Kid", "Footloose", "Rhinestone", "My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys" and "Pure Country" to name a few) none shine brighter than the works of Patrick Swayze. His work is beyond genius, it is gospel. I am convinced that Patrick Swayze is the prophet sent to enlighten us all, delivering words so profound like "Pain don't hurt". If you are skeptical, look no further than the miracles he has performed (how else do you think Whoopi Goldberg could win an Oscar?). So, I have made it my life's work to spread the gospel of the Swayz-Dog. So, before you go pledging your faith to the spirits of an alien race that were dumped into a Hawaiian volcano by a different, evil alien race flying DC-10's, stop, and rejoice. The prophet is among us, and his message will soon be available to the masses, by way of me. I am currently the worlds foremost expert on Swazology. I may be a bartender by trade, but I am a Swayzologist by calling. I am currently writing The book of Swayzology, entitled "Daltonetics", you can look for it in bookstores soon. I am a Colorado native who has lived in Northern and Southern California, Dallas, Tx, Kansas City, Ks, Cheyenne, Wy., Boston, Ma., and and now Sheridan, Wy. I like to travel and meet new people spreading the word of Swayzology. Some day I will settle down, but for now I'm having too much fun being a vagabond. So, if you like really bad movies for all the right reasons, you despise all things Ani DiFranco and Ani DiFranco related, and you're a good tipper, chances are we'll get along fine.
