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everything that i have lost in the past four years ...i been close to loosing what has and always mattered to me , and i been away from the ones that i have loved always and will at any rate give my life up for ... sometimes what you think is the best for you and the ones around you can be hell and pull them away... please forgive me for what i have made all of you go thru , i am hurting just as much as you, if not more this is not easy and if i could change decisions that i have done in my life coming back in and loosing what i want and love will be it.....i will always love you and miss you no matter where in the world i am at...even WAR!!!!