About Me
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I'm your typical subaverage girl. If anyone says I'm supposed to replace "girl" with "lady" just because I turned eighteen, I'm going to scream. I'm a girl. Age depends on the mental maturity, and mine is just about 5 years old. I still run around in sneakers and jeans, and I don't tweeze my eyebrows.I am awfully irresponsible and habitually late for everything. Procrastination? this best suits me and if you look it up in the dictionary you might just find my picture next to it. Check "oblivious" too while you're at it.Why subaverage? you ask. The list is a little long, but the basics include the lack of culinary skills, lack of common feminine characteristics, lack of interest in fashion, lack of housekeeping skills. Actually, come to think of it, there isn't much that I good at. I love to paint and write, but my attempts so far haven't been terribly creative and have only produced semi-acceptable artworks and writings. Not exactly your next Leonardo DaVinci.The only thing that I've ever really excelled in is making people smile. I'm good at that when I try, but oftentimes I don't. It's not that I don't enjoy doing so, but more often than not I'm haunted by my own demons and am much too preoccupied with exorcising them to spend much time socialising. However, I'm generally a nice person who is just terribly bad at keeping friendships. Sometimes I don't get it why I have the friends I have - it should be illegal to be so lucky in life. But no matter what, friends can only fill up your life so much. There are empty moments when I know it is solely my fault for being so... empty.I had been depressed once upon a time, and hopefully those days are over. But they still pay a visit now and then. I guess they must miss me a lot or else they wouldn't do that. People aren't kidding when they say depression is a selfish disease - it's like a vacuum that takes everything and gives nothing. I suppose that's why I have a guilty conscience all the time when I'm not depressed, to make up for the times when I am; the times when I'm just taking, taking, and taking.My life on the outside is one smooth journey all this while, in comparison with others I had it easy. Internally is an entirely different story though. Do you suppose that this is life's way of making things balanced, since my life had been so perfect on the outside, thus it has to make my head a great big mess just to be fair? I suppose that's possible.My name is Michelle, and welcome to my world.