LesBiAnna profile picture

LesBiAnna

if anyone should be sitting on appliances glaring, it should be ME - Sarah Terez Rosenblum

About Me

I was on the varsity chess team in high school.I like chunky peanut butter, roller coasters and hittin' it from behind.I don't cry at movies, but Dancer in the Dark made me sob hysterically for 20 minutes.

I write about:

bars - restaurants - theatre - dating

films

books - artists - astute cultural commentary with wry, irreverent undertones

je nais sais queer

sex toys

puns

and my own unabashed narcissism


My Interests

books books books, drag kings, faux-hawks, self-deprecating humor, writing that echoes the stoic reserve of the emotionally devastated, mini bars, homos, homonyms, Amy Goodman, juggling, road trips, tourist traps, puns, sex and sexuality, indie media, shakin' booty

I'd like to meet:

people, please just know the difference between "your" and "you're." That's all I request. Helpful hint: If you can substitute "you are" in the sentence, there should be an apostrophe. For example, "You're a douchebag" = "You are a douchebag."Whereas with, "Your face makes me want to vomit," the "you are" substitution doesn't work. "You are face makes me want to vomit." Savvy?

Music:

Currently: Regina Spektor, The Kendalls, Kelly Clarkson, Office, Jolie Holland. Long time obsessions: Anything by Jason Kelley, Huey Lewis and the News, Portishead, Jewel, Morrissey, Le Tigre, Bob Dylan, Ace of Base, Neutral Milk Hotel, Tilly and the Wall Secret shames: Evanescence, J.Lo, Dixie Chicks, Savage Garden, Akon

Movies:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, most Wes Anderson, Alfie Hitchcock, Kissing Jessica Stein, Best in Show, Anything with Parker Posey, Groundhog Day ("Am I right or am I right? right right"), The Little Mermaid, Big Trouble in Little China, and French films about trains.

Television:

meh

Books:

are my dominatrix. Sherman Alexi, Sandra Cisneros, Barbara Kingsolver, Marjorie Garber, Lorrie Moore, David Sedaris, The Drag King Anthology, Alice Walker, Judith Halberstam, Edward Abbey, Junot Diaz, Cherrie Moraga, Juana Maria Rodriguez, Herman Hesse, Pam Houston, JD Salinger, Azar Nafisi, T.S. Eliot, Michael Chabon, Kurt Vonnegut, Haruki Murakami, Chela Sandoval, Nerve's The Big Bang (my sex bible), Inga Muscio, Michelle Tea, Sarah Waters, Rainer Maria Rilke, Demetria Martinez, Audre Lorde, Jack Kerouac, Wendy Cope, William Wordsworth, Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro, Miranda July

My Blog

Prude Awakenings

Some humorous quotes from recent binge dating episodes. Plus, some chance encounters with members of the doucheoisie thrown in for taste. "Hi. You seem tolerable. If you're not, don't bother writing ...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 09:49:00 PST

STDs (Some Dating Tips)

As I've been promiscuously touting my sex/advice column on centerstage* to friends, family (thanks for the livejournal link, Grandma!) and random Green Peace fundraisers I meet downtown, a question i'...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 03:02:00 PST

serious concerns, or why god have you cursed me with this enormous rack?

More disconcerting than the new line of Viagra gum that's just been released (it's not just the flavor that lasts) or Lindsay Lohan's triumphant return to prison or even Al Gore's son being busted for...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 07:33:00 PST

stick figures in peril

For a solid 10 minutes of amusement, go to flickr and type in "stick figures in peril." Some gems include:No Charleston Dancing Allowedetc.And I was gonna write something about the 2007 Chicago Pride ...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:39:00 PST

To Blog or Flog? That is the question

My second sex toy review is up on Early to Bed's blog. Check it out here. They didn't edit much out of this one, except for the part about Steel Magnolias...which I won't include here mostly because i...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:10:00 PST

Vowel Movements: Or because even though I'm not in school, I can't stop writing papers

From a purely stimulus-related standpoint, fear and arousal produce nearly identical responses from the bodyperspiration, clenched muscles, quickened pulse, etc. It's curious then, the ways in which ...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:52:00 PST

Expiration Dating

Remember when Will Ferrell was funny? When TV didn't mostly consist of washed out 90210 celebrities perfecting their fox trot? When dating wasn't a huge, nebulous thing involving myriad online sites, ...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 02:22:00 PST

reveLAtions

LA has very little sense of irony. Case in point: Also, at LAX, I mentioned to the airline attendant (are they the most miserly people ever or what? They have the shellack of pleasantne...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Thu, 31 May 2007 06:10:00 PST

The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake

My first sex toy review is up on Early 2 Bed's blog. Check it out (unless you are faint-hearted...or my mother, in which case please don't read it) They toned it down a bit. Perhaps the aside of me ma...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 05:24:00 PST

Lez Be Friends: When Booty Calls Go Bad

"Blessed is the mind with something to occupy it other than its own dissatisfactions." --HippolyteI don't really have anything concrete to say about the cultural preoccupation among lesbians to mainta...
Posted by LesBiAnna on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 05:38:00 PST