Brent

Brent Hooks Everybody! Throughout high school I was the boy who girls considered as quiet. This was due to the fact that girls absolutely terrified me. In the absence of females, I was an extreme conversationalist. Adding my quick wit and interesting opinions, I would seem to anyone as completely normal. However, when a young girl was added to my vicinity, I reverted from my conversing ways to a mere listener. This conflict was the reason for me never dating. I coveted the ability to express myself to the opposite sex, but I lacked the courage to speak to them. I remained a shy and lonely boy. For me the hardest thing was changing. I desperately wanted a girlfriend, but I felt trapped with my quiet identity. As high school progressed, things only worsened. My quiet ways soon spread from not talking to girls to only talking to a few friends. In my sophomore year, my English teacher assigned an oral dictation of Julius Caesar. This, as it always had, terrified me to a worried state. From the day it was assigned to the day I was to dictate this cursed piece of literature, I studied continuously. When the day came, I was a nervous wreck. My name was finally called to present, and I bit my lip and began to walk up to the podium. I started my speech, and all I thought about was all the eyes are looking at me. This caused me to jumble the words up. I stopped, looked at the teacher, said, “I can’t do it”, and then scurried to the exit. While outside, I heard the laughter of my peers in the classroom, and it made me feel pathetic. I felt like there was something wrong with me; and there was. I lacked confidence. The following year, the same continued. Still insecure and unhappy about it, I gave up hope. I surrounded myself in my schoolwork, and asked for more hours at Walgreen’s, where I was employed. At first this seemed like it was the solution, but it only led to feeling worse, when I did venture out into the social world. For me venturing out was going to Sunday night youth group. This did not seem cool to me, and I did not leave satisfied. I left there feeling alone as always. This is all a result of me being there for the wrong reasons. I wasn’t there for God. I was there to further advance my nonexistent social life. Later on in my junior year, another oral report was due. My topic was the effects of the Atomic bomb, and I was more discouraged now than the previous year. This time around I did not fully prepare myself, and when the day had come for me to present, I said, “I’m not going”. The entire class stared at me. The teacher said, “It is okay, Brent, you can do this, and if you want, you may give your presentation from your seat”. I was still apprehensive about going, but I forced myself to say a few words from my seat. By the conclusion of my short speech, the teacher provoked a small applause in hopes to not discourage me further. This courtesy approval didn’t make me feel any better; in fact it sparked more of the same feelings of self-pity. Shortly after the applauding stopped, a boy by the name of John Milton approached the podium to give his presentation. He commenced his presentation with, “Hello, my name is Brent Hooks and my topic is the effects of the Atomic bomb”. By the time he finished stating this, the entire class erupted with laughter. Then he said something that I will never live down among those at the high school I attended. He yelled, “Brent Hooks everybody!” causing another enthusiastic response. From that day forth I heard that everywhere I went. The word of this new fad traveled rapidly. Starting at lunch, someone would stand up, point at me, and proclaim “Brent Hooks everybody!” resulting in a barrage of cheers and clapping. I would feel awkward, and the only thing I could think to do was to clap for myself. At parties, the beach, work, and anywhere that I went, cheering followed. This even occurred with people I didn’t even know. I was a celebrity, who didn’t want any of the attention he was receiving. By the summer it had calmed down. I kept to myself again, and I was away from all the people who participated in this. I had almost forgotten about it, until I went to summer camp with my youth group. At the end of the first chapel, Adam McCoy, a camp counselor, went to the microphone to inform the campers of the news. He started by informing us of birthdays, and on this day it was apparently my birthday. Although it wasn’t, he stated “Brent Hooks everybody!” and I received another undeserved applause. Throughout the week of camp this same behavior continued. Random people would wish me a happy birthday; congratulate me on getting engaged, joining the navy, performing my first surgery, and so on. All of these were false statements, followed with “Brent Hooks everybody!”, and then applause. By my senior year I was forced to accept it. I was numb to the whole thing. The attention that I was so afraid of receiving now made me indifferent. I didn’t show any signs of appreciation and for this, the attention continued. In my math class, my teacher was recently pregnant, and my mother did her ultrasound. The day after the ultrasound, the teacher told my class that my mother was her new favorite person, and the class responded with a “Tonya Hooks everybody!” Later that same year, my younger brother was also applauded as he came to tour my school. As graduation approached, I knew it was going to happen. The crowd was expected to be around three thousand, and I was terrified about being applauded by so many. During graduation rehearsal, I was cheered, but by now this was nothing foreign. I was dreading graduation day, which shouldn’t be the case for a graduate. On graduation day, the salutatorian, Anna Moise, gave her speech. She reached a point in her speech, where she reminded us of the good things that we will miss. Applauding me was among those listed. When my name was called to receive my diploma, it signaled to everyone in that packed auditorium to clap and cheer for me. Of course this applause is partly mocking my timid behavior; I still had a revelation about how I live my life. If I am petrified of interaction than what am I living for? I realized that I have nothing to worry about, and people are not as bad as my head had made them appear. When I received my diploma and one of the loudest ovations that day, I also received identity. I know who I am now because of that day. I am Brent Hooks, Everybody.