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Zoolander

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

"Dream as if you'll never die. Live as if you'll die today.""Seize fate by the throat.""Live for everything, Die for nothing.""Don't live for mediocrity.""Fortune favors the bold."Puppy. Roberto Robby Rocketship Pweeks.I'm different. I'm 17. I'm sick wit it. One of the most competitive people you'll meet. I'm retarded. I broke my neck once. I'm a freak in the sheets. I'll probably rape you at halo. I'm a video game prodigy. (Add me on live: ZOOL4ND3R) I want to be famous for something. Anything. I can't go a day without swearing. I tried once and I made it two hours. My friends say I'm robot. I'm actually a lot smarter than you think. I have a very rare disease...Count Choculitis. I really really like soft shirts. I work at red lobster, thus I can do tricks with lobsters. I can't sit cross-legged. I can touch the rim. I can text faster than a lot of people can type. I'm pissed they took mozzarella sticks off the 5 for $5 menu at Arby's. Bastards. I make the best playlists. I hump pretty much everyone I know. I've never been in a fight, but I want to. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I love breaking it down. My mood changes with every song. I have a twin sister Marissa. She's amazing. I live in Utah. I'm not Mormon. I'm not Catholic. Nor am I Jewish. I don't believe in God at all actually. I go to Taylorsville High. I'm currently a sr. I'm trying really hard to graduate. I'm a professional sleeper. If want to kill the bastard who sold Beto's and made it fucking Rancheritos. I use percentages a lot. I have a back vagina. I hate flavored water. I kinda like this girl named Devyn.There are 4 things I want to experience before I die: 1. Breaking a bone 2. Getting hit by a car. 3. Getting shot. 4. Getting struck by lightning.LOVEMYFLASH CODE
/LOVEMYFLASH CODE

My Interests

Girls. Sports. Video Games.Straight up.

I'd like to meet:

Megan Fox. 24 Hour Fitness Girl. The girl version of myself. Chillins.{ Add Comment | View All Friends | View Blog}

Music:

Everything but country.

Movies:

"When one person suffers from a delusion, it's called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it's called religion."

Books:

QUOTES "Shhh...It's Homecoming.""You're a fucking robot""On a good day? You're a 5.""Yeah, you got any kids of your own?"“My muscles are so hard. Like as hard as your morning wood.""Robby J and Breezy B comin at ya live from ESPN sportscenter""Perfectly imperfect""Hey there's that one bitch.. Robert hold my hand.""Go screw a cow and a half.”“Oh hell no Paco.”“At least 200 of the 300 pictures will be from the wrist down."“I can't wait for fall, so I can wear jacketssss.” “Dude there's a bird in Target. What? A fucking bird. IN TARGET." “They were out of extra ketchup so my burger was dry as a bone."“You want free shit? Then shut up."“I'm gonna kiss ya...you don't have to kiss me back. But I'm gonna kiss ya.”“She's so boring she is sucking life out of me""I ravaged her vagina with my belt buckle"“Uhh what's that? It's a shoehorn Jason. What's that? You've never seen a shoehorn? No...”“Juice jug.”“Ok, would you like paper, plastic, or little kid?”“You know eating in her sleep, like just chomping the air ever so softly.”“Once you go black you never go back. 'I've never gone black.' You've never gone white.”“Dude that's so hard...you're so hard.”“Why are you crying?...CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”“My brother used to be hot...before his little injury.”“Eww I can feel your ribs.”“Why are there all these upside down 7's? Those are J's...”“Draw? I can't even write.”“Dude, you need to help me make a sick myspace so I can hook up with girls from other countries...mail order brides.”“...and here is Mr. Johnson. no no no. Here is Lil Jon & the Eastside Boys.”“What's your name? Skank bitch?”“Yeah see that chick out there? The one who graduated? I should give her a graduation present...an 8 inch present.”“Sometimes it's hard remembering the past when you see the future.”“It kind of upsets me that you can't get better than perfect.”“Please don't draw on me.”“I have sex like...every day.”“Any chick with swords and blades is a dime piece.”“I wanna go smoke...'Yeah and maybe I'll go drink gas.' “Duh it's just as bad for you!"'No gas at least gives you fuel."“My sister hit me on her bike going mach 10"“Now watch where you're putting your wand."“I gotta look out for the whore."“Is he gay?"“Nah...he's just really Mormon. They're easily confused."“MaJewJew.""He can get so much pussy with that spell.""Guess when I shaved? ...RIGHT BEFORE I CAME OVER!!""You lie like a rug!""Keep the change! I'm a high roller!""I'm sleepy. Are you sweaty?""WOAH WOAH woah woah....""Well I found the closest thing to 30 seconds to mars on there. 'Well I have some journey on there...*Journey starts playing*. Wow. Good guess.""I wanted to slap her down the mountain.""We stuck long slender objects in his back vagina.""I just swallowed the hugest swallow.""Oh yeah you know she loves the corn dog.""You have to makes sure your hands are clean before you approach the vagine.""Let's go! Just put it in your mouth!""I got cookie all over...""Jack Jaawwwwwhnson.""Wi wi! Have an omlette!""Jesus Kitty says, 'Don't stick needles in your arm! Stick kisses in them!'""Well who is the good kid who stayed up all night and cleaned and who is the bad kid who SLEPT!?""What do gay horses eat? 'HHHEEEEYYYY!!!'""I haven't had the cock in 3 days!""Fitz Just Right.""It's like wiping your ass with a god damn fucking chinchilla.""From now on I won't bring it up. I'll just be like sweet man fuck her brains out.""All I got on Easter was diabetes...almost.""Don't be hatin slash eatin my phone!""Well it's funny for you, but it makes me feel like a penis!""It looks like you made out with a glitter bag.""Let's go enjoy a smoky treat!""Sorry for ramming my ass into your private region.""You grazed my nipple...""Hey so with all those extra shifts, when I titty fuck Shrek and take pictures you can buy some.""It smells like Christmas!""K if you have like 50 condoms it means you never use them! 'Shut up no it doesn't'""It's like she poured water on her face before she kissed me.""I discovered nutrients!""What is it with lesbians coming in this weekend? 'They like eating out.'""Can you balance my wood on your face?"

Heroes:

Mom. - Cooking Hero Dad. - Pond Hero Marissa. - Twin Hero Laura. - Chill Person Hero Jace. - BAMF Hero Mike. - Guitar Hero Jeff. - FC Hero Mat. - Samesies Hero Jason. - Piano Hero Bri. - Vegas Hero Beth. - Dancing Hero Amberly. - Wakeboarding Hero Chad. - Bowling Hero Alexis. - Lobsta Hero Devyn. - Hero. Period.

My Blog

Mad Ass Beats

This right here just made my fucking night. Made my week. It's amazing. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did.Mad Ass Beats:By ChadRobert, (mad ass beat) Robert had a bad day and now i am givin...
Posted by Zoolander on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 10:07:00 PST

The Sick Saga

Ok this is my documentation of the sickest time in my life except when I was just born. This spans from the night of 2-20-07 (undocumented) to 2-27-07. Pretty sure if you're reading this you already r...
Posted by Zoolander on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 12:43:00 PST