i sleep naked. i hate my job. i don't believe in paying with coins. my signature looks different every time i write it. i control the weather. i have enough clothes to last about three months without having to do laundry. i prefer blades to guns. i think i have a better grasp of the english language than most people. nicholas cage should not play johnny blaze. i sing conversations. i know way too many random facts. i have chianti flavored chapstick. i got it at the dollar store. i like to think of myself as an amateur poet. i give yellow traffic lights the finger. i'm always underestimated. i'm addicted to caffeine. i take 45 minute showers. my hair grows too slowly. i'm an ordained minister. i'm tax exempt. i'm not afraid of anything. i love bacon on sandwiches. i hate my smile. i enjoy giving massages. there's a stain on my wall and i don't know what it is. it's either blood or fire sauce. i have a collection of driver licenses. ramen is the greatest thing ever. my boots weigh two pounds each. i hate no-handed smokers.
she matters when everything is meaningless
