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39839909

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About Me

.. .. .. ..Well first of all i am sick of people telling me my page is sad.... So i have livened it up a touch.... I never ment to make it so people felt for me, only to show them that life is wonderful and we are so lucky for each day.....i love with my whole heart.... i want with my whole heart...... i feel with my whole heart.... and somedays it feels impossible because how can you give your whole heart when a peice is missing.... i am a dreamer.... i dream of love.... i dream of happiness....... i dream of somethings impossible.. others achieveable..... i believe in god.....i believe in angels, i have seen one i have held one in my arms and for one second life was perfect i had my daughter i had my son and i had the love of my life..... all within my arms reach.... life is wonderful and if i learned one thing from my son it is to fight......fight for what you want... fight for what you need.... and sometimes fight for things that you know you can never have..... because if you don't fight than you will never know what could have been... my son is with me everyday.........i see him in my daughters innocence i see him in his fathers eyes....i am the lucky one...... i am happy........ i love my life with my whole heart.........I have a wonderful family Daniel, who i love despite all his flaws and who i believe loves me despite mine. Jewel,Who is my strength althought that may put me in the wrong, she is the onlyone one who has never disapointed me and who loves me without regret. Ayla, who is our new addistion gorgious and so innocent, but she uses me for my milk.... and always our angel Nolan, who will always watch over us threw good and bad and who is always in my heart and in my dreams.. Life is not perfect but it is beautiful....Myspace Backgrounds
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

my angel.....nolan although i feel you all around me i dream of the day when i can again hold you in my arms...."My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow; what it meant to lose you, no one will ever know"
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My Blog

Life

Wow I just read all my blogs and it had been probably a year since I had..  They were tough sad I can not imagine anyone reading them and not leaving my page sad... sorry about that........ ...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Oct 2008 00:05:00 GMT

today

Today is Nolan's birthday.  a year ago today was the first time i saw his sweet face, touched his tender hands.  i miss the smell of his skin..  i miss everything about him..  ...
Posted by on Fri, 02 Jun 2006 07:54:00 GMT

i miss you

so today is 8 months wow.  i can not imagine what life would have been like if you were still here.  mommy misses you so much and my heart breaks every second for you.  your sissy still...
Posted by on Thu, 02 Feb 2006 18:07:00 GMT

Forever mine

"I'LL LEND YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE A CHILD OF MINE" HE SAID. "FOR YOU TO LOVE, WHILE HE LIVES, AND MORN WHEN HE IS DEAD." "IT MAY BE just a single year, or maybe forty-three.  BUT WILL YOU TILL I ...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Dec 2005 09:24:00 GMT

tears

You asked, "How are you doing?" As I told you, tears came to my eyes...and youlooked away and quickly began to talk again.All the attention you had given me had drained away. "How am I doing?"I do bet...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Dec 2005 09:02:00 GMT

poem for nolan

The day that I found out before anyone else could see, I felt that special bond of your life inside of me The months went by so fast my belly began to grow The doctor said hes doing fine but his heart...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Dec 2005 09:02:00 GMT

God help me

my head is spinning my mind is shot  my heart is racing but why i know not my eyes are blurry my thoughts come slow the confusion is causing the anger to grow my blood is churning im out of c...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Dec 2005 22:06:00 GMT

You would have been 6 months today

  I can't help but think about what you would have been like today, not the fragil little baby i remember but a full 6 months old.  i miss holding your hand and being so excited just to see ...
Posted by on Fri, 02 Dec 2005 23:50:00 GMT