jonathan profile picture

jonathan

The size of a peanut butter and banana sanwich.

About Me

I was a precocious child. I am now a fullblown genius. It is partly because of my huge head and the brain inside. Also my supreme lefthandedness. It's not easy living in today's society but I get by, one day at a time. I often have dreams of piratey grandeur. Not like buttpiratey grandeur but more like legitimate plundering and similarly related activities. I have an eyepatch, but I don't have to wear it. I only rock it when I'm fucking plundering yo. Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

Reading, writing, not math. I also have an interest in animals. Art I like. I have a pinball machine and love playing other ones. It's a thing geniuses do in between intense mental exercises. I make movies and write novels. I like playing with the animals, I like scratching off scratch offs, I like sleeping, I typically don't like waking up. I like old people.

I'd like to meet:

More than likely I wouldn't want to meet your ass on a dark and stormy night in a back alley. Even the shadows wouldn't hide your horrible disfiguration. Stay away from me. I'm running in the opposite direction. Fast. I'm so fucking fast I just look like a blur. Except I just tripped and now I'm face down in a dirty puddle and I skinned my hands and I'm crying. fudgesicles!

Music:

Anything classical or jazz, Armstrong, Sorry about your daughter, Dylan, O.A.R., Death Cab for Cutie, Nirvana, Postal Service, Beatles, Tribe, Neil Young, Nas, Rage, Seven Mary Three, Brandon, Squirell Nut Zippers, Wu Tang, I'm tired of listing.

Movies:

The Mystery of Picasso

Television:

HA HA. Get this- I don't have cable so I don't watch any goddamn television. Except what I catch at the bars which is actually a shit-ton. My favorite programming these days is the following: The Price is Right. Without this motherfucker I swear half of my days would be so much shittier than they already are. After The Price is Right a bunch of soap operas come on, which is when I leave the bar (noon) and find something else to do (sometimes class)(sometimes a nap). Besides The Price is Right I like Jeopardy and I wanted to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade but unfortunately 1. I woke up after 1.00 p.m., and 2. I was too lazy to plug the coaxial into the T.V. that I have (I can still get the locals if I want to, I just don't fuck with T.V. at home).

Books:

Oh goodness. Honk honk, beep beep. Recently: A Confederacy of Dunces, Tender is the Night, Rum Diary, Extremely Close and Incredibly Loud, Welcome to the Monkey House, Bagombo Snuff Box, The Beautiful and Damned, Cannery Row, Sweet Thursday, For Whom the Bell Tolls, Hocus Pocus, Catch 22, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Cat's Cradle, All The King's Men, Nine Stories, Cosmos, A Brief History of Time.

Heroes:

Some include: John Kennedy Toole, Vonnegut, Fitzgerald, Hemmingway, Sedaris, Thompson, and my dad. And one of my dogs.

My Blog

DON'T DRINK SCHILTZ

So I was at a bar and drinking something and someone ordered a schlitz can and when the bartender lady got it out and opened it it was frozen so she gave it to me because she knows that i hate to see ...
Posted by jonathan on Tue, 22 May 2007 07:04:00 PST

old profile can be viewed here

I was a precocious child. I am now a fullblown genius. It is partly because of my huge head and the brain inside. Also my supreme lefthandedness. It's not easy living in today's society but I get by, ...
Posted by jonathan on Tue, 06 Jun 2006 04:34:00 PST

oh fudgesicles

oh man I have a finance test tomorrow and i don't know how to use my financial calculator yet.  and I don't know anything about finance.  I need to stop playing Zelda on the damn computer al...
Posted by jonathan on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 09:14:00 PST

I'm in class!

So here I am in class.  It's 11.12 a.m. on Thursday, and I'm in Marketing Policy and Strategy.  If you're not here then you're not missing out on much except getting to sit next to me, becau...
Posted by jonathan on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 08:23:00 PST

I can't open one of my eyes

I woke up this morning and one of my eyes wouldn't open so I've been running into things and getting all banged up for a little while now.  It's not that bad.  I am looking for more pictures...
Posted by jonathan on Thu, 22 Dec 2005 07:17:00 PST