Jordan Lynnâ„¢

see if you can find me:

Angels and Airwaves - "The Adventure"
yes, I'm wearing a fanny pack.
If you are someone who found me by running a search for girls on myspace, that's creepy. You should probably get a hobby and leave me alone. Unless (a) we have mutual friends OR (b) you seem EXTREMELY interesting, I will not accept you so don't waste your time.
About Me:
I'm an unnatural disaster, my own worst enemy, and a girl dichotomy on a good day- which is about every other Sunday. I have no problem asserting myself, but other than that, it's difficult to take me seriously. I make light of all things potentially awkward, and embarrassment is not a state of being in my existence. I probably drink and smoke way too much, and I don't sleep as much as I should. My sister is my best friend. I don't trust anybody. I'm probably smarter than you. I take that back. I AM smarter than you- so deal with it. I often use big words in my daily conversations, which is some form of patronization. I think I was born in the wrong decade. I’m indecisive. Or maybe I’m not. If you’re not weird, you're not my friend. My natural hair color is platinum blonde. I almost prefer it black because 95.8% of blondes look stupid regardless of their brain capacity. One thing I want more than anything is to fall in love. I like Thursdays better than any other day. I feel bad for people who can’t call California home. I find it extremely unattractive when people have difficulty spelling or when they make grammatical errors. I want to kick people in the groin when they use “your” instead of “you’re.” I absolutely refuse to date another musician. The whole “I love music more than anything else, including you” thing gets old- so find some chick that’ll buy that poo. If you have an opinion on music or politics or religion...blah blah blah...I definitely do not want to hear it. If you ask me, I'd most likely tell you that we live in a dictatorship and that a brontosaurus could run our country better than old, wrinkled, ugly men. Apathy works for me. I have an unfortunate attraction to shitbag men, and my judgment is always way off. I am not a man-hater-- I just hate the men I know. I’m working on it... Bacardi should sponsor my life, but without caffeine, I’d be completely screwed. I hate hate hate cankles. More than I hate steak, spam, clowns and balloons. And you have to sedate me to drag me to a mall. I couldn’t think of a worst way to spend the day. I come off as normal and nice, but I’m not. I will befriend you right away, but chances are you probably bore me or will say something stupid. I'll make fun of you first chance I get. I’m definitely a dog person and a borderline insomniac. I hate my smile, and when I tell a lie, my eyes look up and to the right. I have self-centered tendencies, and I don’t care what anyone thinks. Dressing my body is the most difficult part of my day, and I believe that hats are an improvement to my head. I don’t bite my nails, but I mutilate the skin that surrounds them. I probably sing the wrong lyrics to songs, but don’t correct me. I’ll kick you in the pelvis. Don’t bother trying to figure me out- I gave up a long time ago. Just take me for all I’m worth, whorebags.