☆Jules☆

I wake up happy but never spring out of bed. I talk to my plants. They all have names. I drop off my dry cleaning on Wednesdays and read to 5th graders on Mondays. I can recount my dreams in vivid detail. I don't mind when people tell me what to do. I'm partially deaf. Spiders deserve to live - just not in my bed. I bruise easily and often - it's practically a super power. I have no business singing opera in the shower. Neither does my neighbor. Smashing expensive glassware is a talent that has taken years to cultivate. I stick to plastic now. Don't tickle me - I won't ask you twice. I leech heat off anyone or anything - indiscriminately. Spelling is my worst subject for which there has been no record. I sneak into G-rated movies. Recycling is a good idea, so long as it doesn't involve toilet water or ex-boyfriends. I won't turn down a dance if the song is groovy. I vent my frustrations onto canvas. Words like "jeepers!" should be used with conviction and without reservation. I smile at strangers. Pepper makes me sneeze. I don't believe we're alone, especially in the dark. I won't touch an escalator rail, but I'll eat stinky cheese. My goldfish is overweight. All diet plans have failed miserably. Fire is meant to be played with... Just stay away from duck tape! There are no monsters under my bed. They have all been extradited to the trunk of my car. I curtsy after stumbling. Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, dogs are. My knees are 96 years old. Stuttering is charming - flexing, sophomoric. It's bad luck to factor superstitions into your decision-making. Tooth fairies are cheap! Bear hugs are highly under-rated. Voting should never be considered a right but a privilege. Art in public restrooms makes me cringe. I'd trade my crystal ball for a magic carpet in a heart-beat. The last thought in my mind before going to sleep is of my brother.