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MOULIN ROUGE MEET ME IN THE RED ROOMI'll meet you in the red room close the door and dim the lights I will be yours truly if indeed the price is right So throw your sword, be my king let your passions rise and sing Just show me the diamonds and I'll let you wear my ring So just lay down beside you let us consummate, I know you’re bursting let me help you deflate If you want to plug in for a high voltage connection Show me cold, hard cash and I will turn on my affection ~moaning~ I'll let you just a little... So don't hesitate I won't kiss and tell No need to worry Cause I'm, I'm a professional The show can start as soon as I see money on the table I've an empty space to fill I'm willing , if you're able ~moaning~ I'll let you repeat just a little I’ll meet you in the red room, close the door and dim the lights I'll meet you in the red room close the door and dim the lights I will be yours truly if indeed the price is right So throw your sword, be my king let your passions rise and sing Just show me the diamonds and I'll let you wear my ring I'll let you wear my ring. I'll let you wear my ring. I'll let you wear my ring Meet you in the red room. Meet you in the red room. Meet you in the red roomCOME WHAT MAY ( Original Movie Version )Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before I want to vanish inside your kiss Seasons may change, winter to spring But I Love You, until the end of timeCome what may Come what may I will Love You Until my dying daySuddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around youAnd there's no mountain too high No river too wide Sing out this song, I'll be there by your sideStorm clouds may gather And stars may collide But I Love You, I Love You, Until the end of timeCome what may, come what may, I will Love You The greastest thing you'll ever learn... I will Love You, Come what may, Yes, I will Love You Come what may, I will Love You, Til my dying dayCOME WHAT MAY FINALESatine: Never knew I could feel like this It's like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Every day I'm loving you more and more Listen to my heart can you hear it sing? Come back to me and FORGIVE everything! Seasons may change winter to spring I Love You, til the end of time Christian: Come what may! Come what may! Come what may! Come what may! I will Love You Satine: I will Love You Christian: Until my dying day! Satine: Dying day! Both: Come what may! Come what may! Satine: Come what may Both: I will Love You until my dying Toulouse: Christian! He’s got a gun! They’re trying to kill you! Zidler: Shut up! Toulouse: Look, he’s got a gun! Zidler: Guards, seize them! The doctor: Vive le vie de Boheme! Argentinean: No problem! Go back to work! Toulouse: No matter what you say, Cast: The show is ending our way. Come on and stand your ground For freedom, beauty, truth, and Love Chorus: How wonderful life is Satine: One day I'll fly away Christian: My gift is my song Chorus: The children of the revolution, No you won't fool the children of the revolution Satine: One day I'll fly away Christian: My gift is my song Chorus: No you won't fool the children of the revolution. No you won't fool the children of the revolution Chorus: Come what may Satine and Christian: I will Love You Chorus: Come what may Both: Yes, I will Love You Chorus: Come what may Both: I will Love You Duke: My way! My way! My way!! My way!!! Cast: Until my dying day!
all music anything ad everything, except for insrumenta, i like songs with words not just insrumentsONE DAY I'LL FLY AWAY - Nicole KidmanI follow the night Can't stand the light When will I begin To live again?One day I'll fly away Leave all this to yesterday What more could your Love do for me? When will Love be through with me?Why live life from dream to dream? And dread the day when dreaming endsOne day I'll fly away Leave all this to yesterday Why live life from dream to dream? And dread the day when dreaming endsOne day I'll fly away Fly, fly awayGORECKI - Nicole KidmanIf I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you Why live life from dream to dream And dread the day . . .FOOL TO BELIEVE - Nicole KidmanI was a fool to believe . . . A fool to believe. . . It all ends today. . . Yes, it all ends today Today's the day when dreaming ends
10 things i hate about you, a walk to remeber, aladdin, all musicals, disney movies, and matilda are a few of my favsWalter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS! Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Bianca: Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today? Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish. [Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1] Michael: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sure.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force. [Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI] Patrick: Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? Bianca: I think you can in Europe.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bianca: You're asking me out? That's so cute! What's your name again?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Walter Stratford: I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My momma didn't raise no foo'!------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Bianca: You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Kat Stratford: You're not as vile as I thought you were.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Patrick: What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack. Chastity: But I love my Skechers. Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Kat Stratford: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Michael: I have a dick on my face, don't I?---------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist. Kat Stratford: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. Patrick: Then what did I have an effect on? Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Cameron: I learned French for you!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Walter Stratford: Where's your sister going? Kat Stratford: She's meeting some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm. Walter Stratford: Funny.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Walter Stratford: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father] Shoulda used the window! Bianca: Hi Daddy! Walter Stratford: Hi... where're we going? Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group of friends. Walter Stratford: Otherwise known as an orgy? Chastity: Mr. Stratford, it's just a party! Walter Stratford: And hell is just a sauna.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat... Kat Stratford: Tempestuous? Ms. Perky: "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Kat Stratford: You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know? Bianca: I happen to like being adored, thank you!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Kat Stratford: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Bianca: Where did you come from? Planet "Loser"? Kat Stratford: As opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Walter Stratford: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me? Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"? Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father". Bianca: She did not. Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Patrick: Not a big talker, huh? Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Patrick: It's not everyday you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Patrick: Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Patrick: Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Kat Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke. Patrick: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you. Kat Stratford: You think?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. Kat Stratford: Is that right? Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Cameron: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time. Patrick: Cameron, do you like the girl? Cameron: Yeah. Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble? Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I... Patrick: Well, she is or she isn't. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again. Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action. Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested. Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class? Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Patrick: Was that a yes? Kat Stratford: No. Patrick: Well, then, was that a no? Kat Stratford: No.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like? [Cameron reaches into a jar on the bar] Michael: Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis. [they find Patrick; he's drinking and smoking] Patrick: So what have ya got for me? Cameron: A little insight into a very complicated girl. Michael: Excuse me, uh, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver? Patrick: [confused] What? Michael: Nothing. Nothing. Cameron: Alright, uh, first thing, Kat hates smokers. [slowly removes Patrick's cigarette and throws it down] Patrick: So, you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker. Michael: Yes... well, just for now. Cameron: And, um, and here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes... pretty guys. Patrick: [looks confused and slowly rises] Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy? Michael: H-he's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy. [gives him two thumbs up] Michael: You're a gorgeous guy. Cameron: Yeah... I-I just wasn't sure. I didn't know. [Patrick sits back down] Cameron: Alright, uh, yeah, okay, uh, here's this... Likes: Thai food, feminist pros and angry girl music of the Indie Rock persuasion. Here's a list of CDs that she has in her room... Patrick: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right? Michael: Have you eer been to Club Skunk? Cameron: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night. Patrick: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right? Cameron: But she'll be there, she's got tickets. Michael: Just assail your ears for one night. Cameron: She has a pair of black underwear... If that helps. Michael: [laughing cooly] Couldn't hurt, right?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [when asked if he'll date Katarina] Wimpy Loser: Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat? Cameron: Yeah, my dad is, uh... Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere. Cameron: Excuse me? Did you just say... am I in the right office? Ms. Perky: Not any more you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights? Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst. Ms. Perky: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Cameron: Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Mr. Morgan: I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book written by a black man! White Rastas: That's right mon! Mr. Morgan: Don't even get me started on you two! White Rastas: [Mumble to themselves]------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Bianca: People expect me to be there! Walter Stratford: Kat's not going, you're not going! Bianca: Why can't you be normal? Kat Stratford: Define normal. Bianca: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal. Walter Stratford: What's a Bogey Lowenstein? Kat Stratford: Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless... Bianca, Chastity: ...meaningless, consumer-driven lives.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [last lines] Kat Stratford: You know, you can't just buy me a guitar every time you mess up. Patrick: I know, but there's also drums, bass, and maybe someday a tambourine.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this? Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Mr. Chapin: You look nervous... kid in detention: Yes sir. Mr. Chapin: You're sweating like a pig... kid in detention: Yes sir. Mr. Chapin: You're eyes are all... bloodshot kid in detention: yes sir Mr. Chapin: You've got pot, haven't you? kid in detention: [looks down at pocket] Yes sir. Mr. Chapin: I'm confiscating this. Mr. Chapin: [walks away and sees Cheetos on another students desk] ... this... too.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Joey: [to Patrick after Kat backs into his car when he won't move it out her way] Watching that bitch violate my car doesn't count as a date.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Joey: Your sister here? Kat Stratford: Stay away from my sister. Joey: Oh, I'll stay away from your sister, but I can't guarantee she'll stay away from me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Joey: Are you lost? Michael: No, actually I just came by to chat. Joey: We don't chat.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Walter Stratford: You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better? Bianca: Umm, I think I like the white shirt better. Joey: Yeah, it's-it's more... Bianca: Pensive? Joey: Damn, I was going for thoughtful.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Ms. Perky: [writing her novel] ... Underlating with desire, Adrian removes her red [breaks concentration, chooses another word] Ms. Perky: crimson cape, at the site of Reginal's stiff and... [Yells at Judith] Ms. Perky: What’s another word for "engorged"? Judith: [disgusted look] I'll look it up. Ms. Perky: Ok. [thinking of word] Ms. Perky: Swollen... Turgient... Kat Stratford: [enters Kat] Tumesent? Ms. Perky: Perfect! Kat Stratford: [as Kat leaves] I'll let you get back to "Reginal's quivering member". Ms. Perky: Quivering member? I like that.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Bianca: Can we for two seconds ignore the fact that you're severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy? Walter Stratford: What's normal? Those damn Dawson's River kids, sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot?---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates? Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Patrick: I thought you wanted out. Cameron: Yeah, well, I did, but, uh... that was until she kissed me. Patrick: Where? Cameron: In the car.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [after purposefully crashing into a car] Kat Stratford: Whoops.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bianca: You suck! Kat Stratford: [Mocking Bianca] You suck!------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Kat Stratford: What is it, Asshole Day?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [talking about the prom] Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual? Mandella: I would, but I don't have a date. Kat Stratford: Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Kat Stratford: You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. We're making a statement. Mandella: Oh goody, something new and different for us!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Kat Stratford: Tell me something true. Patrick: Something true... I hate peas. Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows. Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Mr. Morgan: All right, not that I give a damn, but how was everybody's weekend? Joey: Oh, I dunno, maybe we should ask Kat? Mr. Morgan: Unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don't wanna hear about it!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Mr. Morgan: Get outta my class. Kat Stratford: What? Mr. Morgan: Out. Get out! Joey: Thanks, Mr. Morgan. Mr. Morgan: Shut up!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- [Two guys are fighting in his house, making a mess] Bogey Lowenstien: You guys, please! Take it outside! [They smash through a window] Bogey Lowenstien: Thank you!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Michael: These delusionals are your White Rastas. Uh, they're big Marley fans, they think they're black, semi-political, but mostly... Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh? Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I want you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Mr. Morgan: Yes, Miss "I Have An Opinion About Everything"?------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------- Michael: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop. Cameron: What'd she say? Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote. Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Cameron: Well, you don't know. She could, uh, she could need a day to cool off. [they all duck as a soccer ball flies past them] Patrick: Maybe two.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Patrick: Hey there girly... how you doin'? Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself? Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh? Kat Stratford: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked... the world makes sense again.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Michael: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bianca: Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date? Kat Stratford: I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Kat Stratford: I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Walter Stratford: And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------- Kat Stratford: You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that? Patrick: I tell myself that every day, actually.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Patrick: I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell you. So, how did you keep him distracted? Kat Stratford: Oh, I dazzled him with my... wits.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Cameron: We are screwed. Michael: Hey, no, hey. I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude... I wanna hear you upbeat! Cameron: [more upbeat] We are screwed! Michael: There ya go.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Mandella: Have you seen him? Kat Stratford: Who? Mandella: William. He asked me to meet him here. Kat Stratford: Oh Mandella, please tell me you haven't progressed to full-on hallucinations.--------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------- Patrick: [while trying to get Kat go out with him] Well, the night I take you places you've never been before. Kat Stratford: Like where, the 7-11 on Broadway?--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Walter Stratford: I know who you wanna bend the rules for. It's that hot-rod Joey. Bianca: What's a hot-rod?---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- [both speaking french] Cameron: May I offer you a parsnip? Bianca: No, you may not. Cameron: Where is my uncle's pencil? Bianca: I don't know. Maybe it is up your ass?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Bogey Lowenstien: [the doorbell rings] That must be Nigel with the brie.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Kat Stratford: [drunk. Leans in close to Patrick] Hey... your eyes have a little green in them. [Patrick smiles momentarily, then Kat vomits at his feet]------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Cameron: And I'm BACK IN THE GAME!------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Kat Stratford: [talking to Mr. Chapin in detention] Well, now that you've seen "the plan", I'm gonna go and show "the plan" to someone else.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [after Joey punches Cameron, Bianca punches Joey in the face] Bianca: That's for making my date bleed! Joey: Shit, Bianca, I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow! [punches him again] Bianca: That's for my sister! [knees him in the crotch] Bianca: And that's for me!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Walter Stratford: You know fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still let's me play a few innings - you've had me on the bench for years. And when you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game. Kat Stratford: *When* I go? Walter Stratford: Oh, boy. Don't tell me you changed your mind. I already sent 'em a check. [Kat gasps in surprise, then hugs her father]----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Kat Stratford: [to Patrick - after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- [Mr. Stratford makes Bianca wear a pregnancy belly before leaving for a party, Patrick arrives and sees her] Patrick: [to Kat] Who knocked up your sister?----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Kat Stratford: We're going now. Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, NO ritual animal slaughters of any kind... oh God, I'm giving them ideas.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Patrick: I was watching you out there, before. I've never seen you look so sexy.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Cameron: You embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Walter Stratford: Remember the two house rules; Number One: No dating till you graduate. Number Two: No dating till you graduate.
Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon the sand." Homer: [pointing a finger] And you remember [thinks] Homer: Matthew... 21:17. Reverend Lovejoy: [confused] "And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?" Homer: Yeah. Think about it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Marge: I have a responsibility to raise these children right and, unless you change, I'll have to tell them their father is... well, wicked. Homer: [to Lisa and Bart] Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair, and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... [thinks] Homer: I forget. But the point is... [thinks] Homer: I forget that, too. [to Marge] Homer: Marge, you know who I'm talking about! He used to drive that blue car.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Groundskeeper Willie: Ach Wendel. Tis a mighty puddle of puke. Wendell: I'm sorry. Groundskeeper Willie: That's all right lad. You reminded me of why I got into this work in the first place.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Bender: Great, you guy are my new best friends! Homer: You wish! [Homer throws Bender out of the car destroying him]-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Principal Skinner: [over the intercom] Attention please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. [Lisa raises her hand] Principal Skinner: Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? Thank you, Lisa.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Lisa Simpson: Dad, look! [holds TV up] Homer Simpson: Television! Teacher, mother... Homer Simpson: [lustily] ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone. [Family sighs] Homer Simpson: Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow. [Hours later, everyone is frozen] man introducing Tony Awards: [on TV] Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden! Bart Simpson: [With difficulty] Homer... change channel. Homer Simpson: Can't! frozen! [music on TV: "One chorus line of people...?] Homer Simpson: [Family screams] Homer Simpson: Urge to kill... rising...--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Bart: Mom, am I a butch or a femme? Marge: [with hand lifted] Honey, you can be anything you want to be.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us. [holds pony tail to his head] Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year. Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Redneck Matt Groening: [notices he's being filmed drinking Tequila shots behind his desk] [shouts, heavily accented] Redneck Matt Groening: Get out of my office! [fires a six-shooter twice]------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Guy N. Cognito: [comes into Moe's looking exactly like Homer except for a fake-looking moustache and silly voice] Hello! My name is Guy N. Cognito. Moe: Get out of here, Homer! [sound of Guy N. Cognito getting beaten up and thrown unconscious into the street] Homer: [walking along despondent until he stumbles onto Guy N. Cognito] Oh, my God, this man is my exact double! [a fluffy-tailed small dog walks by] Homer: That dog has a fluffy tail! [Homer leaves Guy and starts pursuing the dog] Homer: Come here, fluff!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Grampa: [banging a slipper against a pot in a state of senility] [shouts] Grampa: The Swedish are coming! The Swedish are coming!----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- [Tom Brady is riding a scooter down the football field] Tom Brady: [shouts] Everyone sucks but me!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Homer: D'oh!------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer Simpson: Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut. Marge: You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Marge: [the Simpsons are touring Toronto, Canada] So, I see you drive on the left up here. Tour Guide: No, ma'am. I'm drunk.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Bart: Can I have a beer? Homer: All right, but not the imported. Marge: Homer! Homer: You've got to set limits, Marge.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Grampa: We're the baddest punks in our age bracket!---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Mr. Burns: Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Grampa: [to Homer] Make me proud... or at least less ashamed.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Marge: There's no shame in being a pariah.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet? Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Krusty the Clown: This I don't need.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Mr. Burns: I can't be responsible for what my goons are ordered to do.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Homer Simpson: Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff outta my brain. Remember when I took that wine tasting lesson and I forgot how to drive? Marge: You were drunk! Homer Simpson: [laughing] And how.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Marge: [Marge has entered a demolition derby] Don't hit me! I'm not like you people, I'm loved!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [the Simpsons are housesitting at Mr. Burns' mansion. They are eating dinner at Mr. Burns' oversized dinner table] Marge: This all seems a little elaborate for Sloppy Joes. I know what the other 12 forks are for, but I don't know what to do with this one. Homer: Why Marge my dear, I believe you are supposed to scratch your ass with it. Marge: Homer! [scratches rear with fork] Marge: Ooh...------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Robot 1: Hey, these cards are mine. [table falls] Robot 2: Now look what you've done. Robot 1: I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Robot 3: Let's forget this whole thing happened. Homer: What the heck is this, a tea party? Somebody kill somebody. [Homer smashes a bottle on a robot's head. The robots begin to shoot Homer, who dives under a table] Marge: What is it with you and robots?----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Homer: I don't need your pity or your money. [pockets money] Ron Howard: Usually when you say that, you give the money back.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Bart: Leonard Nimoy? What are you doing here? Leonard Nimoy: Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near. Bart: [flippantly] Uh-huh. Hot Dog Vendor: Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog? Leonard Nimoy: Surprise me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- [TV executives want Homer for a TV ad about bald and impotent men] Homer: Well, I am bald and important!-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Mr. Burns: Thank you, come again. Smithers, release the hounds.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Apu: [two bullies walk out with store merchadise] Thank you steal again.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Apu: Yeah I finked on Homer but he deserved it. Never have I seen such abuse of the "Take A Penny, Leave A Penny" Tray.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: [picks up Maggie as he watches a Thanksgiving football game] See those blue and silver guys, Maggie? They're the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team, and he wants them to lose by at least three points.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Actor Homer: I do not miss Bart at all. Actor Marge: I am glad he's gone. Actress Lisa: As am I. Actor Homer: [drops sandwich] Boh! Bart: It's probably my imagination but something about them didn't seem quite right. Mr. Burns: Really? excuse me for just a moment. Mr. Burns: [Mr.Burns walks from the control room out into the studio where cameras have been set up along with a fake living room of the Simpsons' place] People, that was all wrong. Homer Simpson does not say Boh! He says. [checks script] Mr. Burns: Doh!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Cletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth. Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth? Cletus: The sidewalk.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau? Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it. Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- [Burns learns about the stock market crash of 1929] Mr. Burns: Oh no. Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash? Smithers: Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born. Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: God is teasing me. Just like he teased Moses in the desert. Marge: *Tested,* Homer. God *tested* Moses.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Moe: Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Moe: I've been planning this vacation for years. I'm finally going to see Easter Island. Homer: Oh, right, with the giant heads. Moe: With the what now?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Reverend Lovejoy: This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Kang: Holy fleurking schnit!----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Kang: Oh, you look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Kent Brockman: ...and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Marge: Bart, stop pestering Satan.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [Bart's looking for his dog] Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt - and I 'ate 'im. [Bart gasps] Willy: I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I 'ate the way 'e's always barkin'. So I gave 'im to the church. Bart: Ohhh, I see... you HATE him, so you gave him to the church. Willy: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug. [Bart stares] Willy: Ya heard me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated! Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Don't you like being a dude?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Bart doing a newscast on a kids news show] Bart: Joe Banks, 82 years young, has come to this pond everyday for the past 17 years to feed the ducks. But last month Joe made a discovery: the ducks were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think Joe used to sit down there near those ducks. But it could be that there's just no room, in this modern world, for an old man and his ducks.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Rainer Wolfcastle: [singing] Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z / Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.---------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ---- Rupert Murdoch: What the bloody hell?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Marge: Bart, would you like to say grace? Bart: Yesum! [Bart says grace in Latin] Homer: What the hell was that? Lisa: Bart's speaking Latin, the language of Plutarc. Homer: [Homer looks blankly] Micky Mouse's dog?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Homer: [Lisa imagines if Homer dies during his bypass operation] [Homer is in heaven, lying on a cloud] Homer: Cloud goes up, cloud goes down, cloud goes up, cloud goes down. Homer: [cut to hospital room in real life. Homer is lying on his bed] Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Me hungry.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- [the Simpsons are on a wagon train in the Old West] Homer: [singing] Cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off, cleaning my gun with the... [gun goes off, killing a buffalo] Lisa: Dad, you just killed a poor, defenseless buffalo! Homer: A poor, *delicious* buffalo. He'll be enough food for the whole wagon train. [shoots another buffalo] Lisa: Why did you shoot that one? Homer: Dessert.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer Simpson: Huh? What's wrong? House ran away? Dog on fire?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Kent Brockman: The phony pope can be identified by his high top sneakers, and incredibly foul mouth.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: [while watching a meteor shower] I wish God were alive to see this.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: [Bart has offended Lisa, and he's surprised she's visibly angry at him after saying that nothing is wrong between them] Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Ned has the ability to foresee one's death] Ned Flanders: Homer, you will die eating a submarine sandwich. Homer: What kind of bread is it? Ned Flanders: Country parmesan. Homer: Woo-hoo!---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Moe: Yeah, you said it, Barn.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Moe: Homer's right! We're gettin' the Joan Collins special!---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Kent Brockman: [talking about the people of "New Springfield" when a new area code divides the town] They use low-class expressions like "Oh, yeah!" and "Come here a minute." Homer Simpson: [watching the TV with Bart] Oh, yeah, they think we're low class. Hey, Bart, come here a minute. Bart: You come here a minute. Homer Simpson: Oh, yeah...----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Moe: Enough chit-chat, let's see how you like flaming trash!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Elf: Welcome to Santa's Village, where it's Christmas everyday! Closed on Christmas.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Chief Wiggum: What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Homer: So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Chief Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Dr. Hibbert: We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Bart: Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park? Homer: Do I have to sit up? Bart: No. Homer: Knock yourself out.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Apu: Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer: Hey, we didn't have a message on our answering machine when we left. How very odd.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Comic Book Guy: Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Hey boy. Wanna play catch? Bart: No thanks dad. Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong. Grampa: I'll play catch with you. Homer: Go home.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Marge: Lisa, normally, I would say that you should stand up for what you believe in, but you've been doing that an awful lot lately... Bart: Yeah, you made us march in that gay rights parade. Homer: And we cant watch Fox because they own those chemical weapons plants in Syria.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Homer no function beer well without.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Moe: [after beating up a Homer dummy] Who's the sociopath, now?-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old. Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive? Marge: That's because you were drunk. Homer: And how!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Homer: [praying] Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever. [brief pause] Homer: Thy bidding will be done. [munch munch munch]------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- [a rock flies through Mr. Burns' office window] Mr. Burns: Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ [while watching a faculty talent show] Bart: I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N. Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Ralph is lying in bed] Ralph: Daddy, these rubber pants are hot. Chief Wiggum: You'll wear 'em till you learn, son.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Homer: Password. Bart: We just want to get a snack from the fridge. Homer: Access denied! Bart, Lisa: But Da... [Homer uses a sleeper hold on Bart and Lisa knocking them out] Marge: Homer! I don't want you using your new sleeper hold on the children! Homer: They be OK in half an hour. Marge: And another thing, I asked you to take out the garbage three days agos and it's still... ngghhh. [Homer uses his sleeper hold on Marge] Homer: [Homer looks at his watch] Hmm, dinner is not for another half hour. Gahhh! [Homer uses his sleeper hold on himself and bangs his head on the dinner table while falling to the floor]------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Milhouse: [singing] When a man loves a woman... Lenny: Which one are you? The man or the woman? Carl: Nice one, dude.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Bart wants to learn about sex] Homer: I think he should learn about it the way I did. [Flashback of Homer as a child, he is at a zoo watching monkeys] Homer: Zookeeper! [points to monkeys] Homer: Those two monkeys are killing each other! Zookeeper: [whispers in Homer's ear] They're having sex. Homer: Oh...------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Wow. Sprawl-Mart has everything, even videos of talking Christian vegetables. Vegetable Moses: [zooms in on TV] We will not build your food pyramid. Let my pickles go!--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Bart: Ay, carumba!---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer Simpson: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin... but what good does *that* do me?--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- [in a comic book store] Milhouse: I need a mask to hide my face. What have you got for five dollars? Comic Book Guy: For a paltry five dollars all I can offer you is a mask from the discount bin. You have your choice of Richard Nixon or Bart Simpson. Milhouse: Why do you have masks of Bart? Comic Book Guy: One came free with every box of Bart Simpson action figures. Milhouse: Why does Bart have his own action figures? Comic Book Guy: They were a marketing tie-in with the comic book. Milhouse: Why does Bart have a comic book? Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying then the last three "Highlander" movies.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Marge: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman. Homer: That's not how I remember it. Besides, if we wanted to see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo. Marge: Homer. Homer: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. His name is Takashi. He's in my book club.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Comic Book visits a dating service and grabs all the one-nighter presentation videotapes] Clerk: Are you going to call all those women? Comic Book Guy: No, the tapes will do just fine.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Bart: Here Homer I got you this book "Chicken Soup for the Loser". Homer: Hmmm is it any good? Bart: I don't know but it inspired Bill Buckner to open a chain of Laundromats.------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------- Agnes Skinner: You failed, Seymour. What is it with you and failure?---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- [Kodos and Kang appear at The Simpsons' door] Homer: Oh no, Mormons! Kang: Actually, we're Quantum Presbyterians.---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you. Homer: I like you. Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you. Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away? Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there. Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Guide: Founded by prostitutes in 1849, and serviced by prostitute express riders who could bring in a fresh prostitute from Saint Joe in three days, Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known as a place where a trailhand could spend a month's pay in three minutes. Homer: Three minutes. [whistles] Marge: I never realized history was so filthy.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Homer: Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Chief Wiggum: They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Homer is using butter as a pencil holder] Marge: Is that my butter? Homer: Can't talk - taking another delicious memo. [Licks tip of pencil as if about to write] Homer: Mmmmm... memo.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Moe: They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Lisa: Dad, just for once don't you want to try something new? Homer: Oh Lisa, trying is just the first step toward failure.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- [Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket] Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine". Guard: And your name is...? Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- [Why he prefers the original "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington."] Homer: At least that Jimmy Stewart version had that giant rabbit who ran the Savings & Loan.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats. Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Marge: Only your father could take a part-time job at a small town paper and wind up the target of international assassins.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Mr. Burns: Next.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Mr. Burns: Smithers, you could learn a thing or two from this braying moron.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Chief Wiggum: We'll track down Simpson with your vehicles anti-theft system. Car System: Car gone Car gone! Chief Wiggum: Yeah, we know that. Where has it gone to? Car System: Car gone! Car gone! Car gone!------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Must kill Moe Wee! Must Kill Moe Wee!-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Apu: Here at the Kwik-E-Mart we believe in America. Please do not beat me up anymore.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- [Kang and Kodos are cooking the Simpsons] Bart: Am I the only one in horrible pain? Homer: You're the only one who won't shut up about it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Professor Frink: Let the commencing beginulate!------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Homer: *Finally*... Science has joined forces with Revenge.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- TV Announcer: [At the end of a commercial for a combination hair restorer/penis enlarger] Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Lisa: It seems every week the Simpsons go through a situation like this. My suggestion is to just ride it out, make the occasional smart-aleck quip, and next week, we'll return right to where we were, ready for another wacky adventure. Bart: Aye carumba. Lisa: That's the spirit.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Sideshow Bob: [after his demands are met] Yes. They're giving in. [pause] Sideshow Bob: Blast. I should've made more demands. Maybe next time...----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Mel Gibson: John Travolta flew me over in his jet. Now I have to help him move next weekend. He deliberately waited until we were in the air to ask me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- [in the car on the way to Florida] Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me. Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing. Marge: Quiet, you two. You know your father's just had a breakdown. Homer: My pockets hurt.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Oh, they have the Internet on computers now.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Lisa: I'm so glad you're home. Bart's acting funny. Homer: "Ray J" funny or "O.J." funny?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Son, I just want you to know I have total faith in you. Bart: Since when? Homer: Since your mother yelled at me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Rev. Lovejoy: I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. Who came to earth... and then died... only to be brought back to life again. And his name was: E.T., the extra-terrestrial. I love that little guy.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Lionel Hutz: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [observing the farm's green glow after Homer put toxic chemicals on it] Marge: It's eerily beautiful. Are you sure it's safe? Homer: You know what they say - sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart. Marge: You got that from a movie poster. Homer: Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope. Marge: Where'd you get that from? Homer: From the producers of "Waiting To Exhale".---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer: It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won. [Lisa sighs] Lisa's Brain: I know, I heard it too. Here's some music. [Piano music plays quietly. Lisa smiles contentedly]------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------- Homer: Just because I don't know doesn't mean I don't understand.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Kent Brockman: Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning. Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally. Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- [Writing a food review] Homer: The bread was... the bread was... Santa's Little Helper: Ruff. Homer: You've been pitching that one all night. Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Kent Brockman: Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside? Professor: Yes I would, Kent.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Homer and Bart are being taunted for riding in an electric car] Gay Robots: One of us. One of us. One of us.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Homer: Please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Well, I hope you've learnt your lesson, Lisa: never help anyone.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Homer: You mean you gave away both your dogs? You know how I feel about giving.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bart: Man, I'm so bored. Milhouse: Wait until we're teenagers, then we'll be happy.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's not a fair.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: These candidates make me want to vomit in terror.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Ned Flanders: A rude Frenchman. Why I never.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Boy, everyone is stupid except me.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Homer: [to Bart] I always knew you had personality. The doctor said it was hyperactivity, but I knew better.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Mr. Burns: Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- PBS Pledge Drive Host: It's easy to see why it's England's most long-running series - and we're showing all of them, all 7 episodes.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Lisa: Mom. Dad's on PBS. Marge: Mm? They don't show police chases, do they?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Bees have escaped from a bee farm] Beekeeper 1: Hmmm. Awfully quiet around here. Beekeeper 2: Yes... a little TOO quiet, if you know what I mean. Beekeeper 1: Hmmm. Afraid I don't. Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise suggests no bees. Beekeeper 1: Hmm... oh look, there goes one. Beekeeper 2: To the bee mobile. Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy? Beekeeper 2: ...Yes.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Homer: People will think what I tell them to think when you tell me what to tell them to think.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [Moe is making a fortune from Homer's drink recipe] Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy. Homer: Ooh, look at me. I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane. [walks out, slams door, then sticks head back in] Homer: Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic. Marge: Well, duh.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Marge is working at a real estate firm] Lionel Hutz: I've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People just love your no-pressure approach. Marge: Well, you know what we say: the right house for the right person. Lionel Hutz: I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The right house is the house that's for sale. And the right person is anyone.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect? Smithers: What? Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Smithers is on the town. Smithers: Oh. Of course.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Homer: Ah, Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Nelson's friends catch him kissing Lisa] Kearney: Aw man. You just kissed a girl. Jimbo Jones: That is so gay.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Principal Skinner: There's no justice like angry-mob justice.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Marge: Aren't you going to perform the last rites? Rev. Lovejoy: That's Catholic, Marge. You might as well ask me to perform a voodoo dance.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [Lisa sees a sign for a "Yahoo Serious Festival"] Lisa: I know those words, but that sign doesn't make sense.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated! Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Lisa: Dad, I still don't understand how you could just give my room away? Homer: Honey, what's your favorite movie? Lisa: Well, until you taped over it, "The Little Mermaid". Homer: That's right. "The Odd Couple". Meet your new, mismatched roommate- Bart. Bart: I'm going to make your life a living hell. Lisa: Ohh... [Homer hums "Odd Couple" theme, shoves Lisa into the room and runs away]------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Lisa: Thank you, Mr. President. Bill Clinton: No, thank you, Lisa. For teaching kids everywhere a valuable lesson: If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true. Marge: That's a pretty lousy lesson. Bill Clinton: Hey, I'm a pretty lousy president.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Mayor Quimby: Oh, dear God. Can't this town go one day without a riot?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [Homer uncovers a scheme to supply low-grade milk to the school] Homer: They're milking rats. Rats. Mayor Quimby: [to Fat Tony] Rats? You promised me dog or higher.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- [about to watch dinner theater] Ned Flanders: Dear Lord, please let tonight's production be better than Othello starring Peter Marshall.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Homer: Once you go to the Vatican, you can't go back again!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [Homer is missing work, and puts a manatee in charge] Smithers: I believe that's a manatee posing as Homer Simpson, sir.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Homer: I think I saw him in Rent, or Stomp, or Clomp, or some piece of crap like that.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Newspaper Tour Guide: And each paper contains a certain percentage of recycled paper. Lisa: What percentage is that? Newspaper Tour Guide: Zero. Zero is a percent, isn't it?--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Marge: You love Shake n' Bake. You used to put it in your coffee.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Lucy Lawless: I'll take you home. [Lucy flies, carrying Bart and Lisa] Lisa: Hey, Xena can't fly. Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget - we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [after the angel hoax is exposed] Homer: What the hell are we going to do with 10,000 angel ashtrays? Bart: I could take up smoking. Homer: You damn well better.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- [Pulling broccoli from Homer's corpse] Dr. Hibbert: Another broccoli-related death. Marge: But I thought broccoli was... Dr. Hibbert: Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on earth. It tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer's ghost: Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven. Marge: Well I got a whole list of chores: clean the garage, paint the house... Homer's ghost: Whoa whoa whoa. I'm just trying to get in, I'm not running for Jesus.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Marge: [sings] How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man... Homer: Seven. Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question. Homer: OK, eight. Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means? Homer: Do *I* know what "rhetorical" means?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Mr. Burns: If the house catches fire, call this number. Marge: Uh-huh. The fire department. Mr. Burns: Yes. They're new. But they're good.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Ned Flanders: Homer, I think you hit something. Homer: I hope it was Flanders.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza. Marge: But we did win. Lionel Hutz: That's okay. The box is empty.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [Showing Simpsons "outtakes."] Troy McClure: If that's what they cut out, what they leave in must be pure gold.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Maude Flanders: Neddy, I've had just about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll go get some hot dogs. Ned Flanders: No foot-longs. Maude Flanders: I know, they make you uncomfortable.---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- [Moe is describing a plan to Homer] Moe: Okay Homer, this olive is you... Homer: Mmm... me...------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Marge, can I go out and play?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: [muttering] Lousy big shot, thinks he's so big 'cause he's got a lot of guns, if he didn't have any guns I'd show him a thing or two... [at home, pacing the hallway in front of Lisa's bedroom] Homer: ... let's see him walk into my store and then we'll see who's worried about five-day waiting periods... Lisa: Dad, it's 3:00 AM. Cant you mutter in your room? Homer: Marge kicked me out. Lisa: All right, go ahead. Homer: Pushy kids think they can tell me what to do in my house, Why, I tell you these parents these days they don't know how to rear children...------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog. Bart: You're right. [Gets up and leaves] Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: [to Lisa] You stupid know-nothing know-it-all.------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------- Homer: [Comforting] There, there. Shut up boy.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Moe: Sounds like you're having a rough Christmas. You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society. Homer: [drunk] Yeah, you're right, Moe. You're always Moe.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Lisa: Where's that music coming from? Marge: And all the liquor? Homer: It's a party, Marge. It doesn't have to make sense.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- [Fanzo threw a Barbie in the fire and strangled a Krusty toy] Bart: Why is it destroying other toys? Lisa: It must be programmed to do so to eliminate competition. Bart: You mean like Microsoft? Lisa: Yeah.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [while trying to get a convict's parole granted] Jack: I shot a guy named Apu. Marge: Hmmm... Well a lot of people shoot Apu.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Ralph: Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Krustyburger manager: We need more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Homer sits down in the middle of the night to eat cheese] Homer: Mmmm. Sixty-four slices of American Cheese... [begins eating] Homer: ... sixty-four... sixty-three... [morning comes, Homer is still eating] Homer: Two... one... [Marge walks in] Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese? Homer: I think I'm blind.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Chief Wiggum: Oh, sure. We'd all love some *real* friends, Marge. But what are the odds of that happening?-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Homer: Mmmm... forbidden donut.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Ralph: That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Barney: David Crosby? You're my hero. David Crosby: Oh, you like my music? Barney: You're a musician?--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- [playing a religious board game] Lisa: Where are the dice? Todd Flanders: Daddy says dice are wicked. Rod Flanders: We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl. Ralph: I'm a boy. Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- State Comptroller Atkins: This grant ensures a light bulb in every classroom, and a high-definition TV for the teachers lounge.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bill Clinton: I know you don't think you're good enough for me, but believe me, you are. Hell, I done it with pigs. Real, no-foolin' pigs.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Judge Snyder: The clown is down.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Mr. George Willson: Simpson, you?re a menace! Mrs. Martha Wilson: Leave him alone George. Mr. George Willson: Martha, I want a divorce. Mrs. Martha Wilson: Oh thank you, you've made me so happy.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Waylon Smithers: [with a very attractive woman] Sir, you knew I was on a date. Bart: Mr. Smithers? But I thought you were... you know... Waylon Smithers: Oh no, I'm straight. As long as I keep taking these shots! [injects shot into arm] Waylon Smithers: I love boobies!---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Kent Brockman: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for Philosophy majors - useful people are starting to feel the pinch.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Psychiatrist: Is there a lot of screaming at your house? Bart: Well, my dad's always yelling about the white man keeping him down.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Gee, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know; way richer than Lenny. Mr. Burns: Yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: What are you kids doing? Lisa, Bart: Practicing tennis Homer: That's tennis? Then what's that sport where the chicks whale on each other? Bart: Foxy Boxing? Homer: [disappointedly] Yes. That's what I wanted. Oh. [Homer cries]------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres. Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks? [focuses in on ear plug/mic] Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket. Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi. Homer: Get off my property.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- [Homer is camping out to buy football tickets] Homer: Heh-heh-heh, I did it. Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work. Man: With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper. Homer: In theory, yes. [sotto voce] Homer: Jerk.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- [about the hurricane] Homer: All right everyone, it's the standard Grampa drill... everyone into the cellar.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Ned Flanders: You ugly hate-filled man. Moe: Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but... uh... what was that last thing you said?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Dr. Foster: You are free to roam around the grounds but do be warned one of our patients *is* a cannibal. Try to guess which one... I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Homer: Lisa, I want you to remember me just as I am right now, filled with murderous rage.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: Never fear. The cosmic fool is here.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Lisa: Miss Tan, I loved The Joy Luck Club. You really showed me how the mother-daughter bond could survive adversity. Amy Tan: No, no, that's not what I meant at all. I can't believe how wrong you got it. Just sit down, I'm embarrassed for both of us.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Mr. Burns: Mr. Simpson, you're smarter than you look, or sound, or our best testing indicates.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, why are there children walking on my head?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Marge: Church should help you with your everyday life. Homer: It should, but it doesn't. Now who wants to go down to the dump with me?--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Doug: In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is a magic xylophone, or something? Ha ha, boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder. Homer: I'll field that one. Let me ask *you* a question. Why would a grown man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show? [embarrassed pause] Doug: I withdraw my question. [starts eating a candy bar]-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Sideshow Bob: Rakes, my arch enemy. Bart: I thought I was your arch enemy. Sideshow Bob: I have a life outside you, Bart.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Comic Book Guy: Ack. There is no "emoticon" to express what I am feeling right now.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Bart has just described the island paradise he envisages] Nelson: How many monkey butlers will there be? Bart: One at first. But he'll train others.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Ralph: I bent my wookie.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Marge: Homer, why aren't you at work? You're late. Homer: They said if I came in late again that I would get fired, and I can't risk that, so I'm not going.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Biatch? Me?--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- [after Poochie the dog debuts on the Itchy and Scratchy show to a lukewarm response] Homer: I liked it... right? Homer's Brain: You don't wanna know what I think... Now look sad and say "D'oh!...? Homer: D'oh!...---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Marge: Everybody's afraid of something. Homer: [smugly] Not everybody. Marge: Sock puppets. Homer: [shrieks in terror] Where? Where?------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- African tour guide: Night, night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs paralyze.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Bart: Eat my shorts.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Bart: Don't have a cow, man.-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ [Professor Frink has just re-animated his dead father using mechanical organs] Professor Frink: All your organs have been replaced with machines, but that doesn't make you any less of a man. Except that you don't have a penis.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Bart: Hey wait a minute, man. You don't have to leave just because Superintendent Chalmers tells you to. You've spent your whole life following orders. From your mother, the army, Superintendent Chalmers. For once in your life, stand up for yourself, man. Principal Skinner: Okay, Bart. Mrs. Krabappel: Let's go, Seymour. Principal Skinner: Okay, Edna.------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Homer: When was the last time Barbara Streisand cleaned out your garage? And when it's time to do your laundry, where's Ray Bolger? I'll tell ya. Ray Bolger is looking out for Ray Bolger.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Marge: And our kids are getting lazy. Bart: I'm not lazy, I'm... hey, Lisa, finish my sentence for me. Lisa: Why don't you finish your own darn... [falls asleep, falls off couch]------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: How was everyone's day at school? Bart: Horrible. Lisa: Pointless. Marge: Exhausting. It took the class 40 minutes to locate Canada on a map. Homer: Oh, honey, anyone could miss Canada. All tucked way down there.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Homer: Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything. Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia? Doctor: Yes. Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes? Doctor: Yes. Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy? Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have several diseases that have just been discovered - in you. Mr. Burns: I see. You sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes? Doctor: Uh, no, no, I'm afraid not. Mr. Burns: This sounds like bad news. Doctor: Well, you'd think so, but all of your diseases are in perfect balance. Uh, if you have a moment, I can explain. Mr. Burns: Well... [looks at his watch] Mr. Burns: [the Doctor puts a tiny model house door on his desk] Doctor: Here's the door to your body, see? [bring up some small fuzz balls with goofy faces and limbs from under the desk] Doctor: And these are oversized novelty germs. [points to a different one up as he names each disease] Doctor: That's influenza, that's bronchitis, [holds up one] Doctor: and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer. Here's what happens when they all try to get through the door at once. [tries to cram a bunch through the model door. The "germs" get stuck] Doctor: [Stooge-like] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Move it, chowderhead. [normal voice] Doctor: We call it, "Three Stooges Syndrome". Mr. Burns: So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible. Doctor: Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could... Mr. Burns: Indestructible.--------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------- Homer: I see the light... it burns!------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Bono: [after Homer invades U2's Pop-Mart concert] Wait, people. He's talking about waste management, that affects the whole damn planet! The Edge: Awww, here he goes! Anyone fancy going to Moe's for a pint? Adam Clayton: Can I come? The Edge: [looks at Larry Mullen Jnr] No! Adam Clayton: [whispers] Wankers! [Edge and Larry turn around, and Adam pretends to be tuning his bass guitar]----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Ned Flanders: That is one bitching ride. Rod Flanders: Daddy said a bad word! Ned Flanders: Oh, lighten up, Roddy.------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- Lisa: The student strike will continue until you restore music and art. Principal Skinner: What about gym? Lisa: [dismissive] Eh.--------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Ralph: Lisa's a sellout! Lisa's a sellout! Hey, Lisa. What's a sellout?---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Homer: I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the Pope combined.--------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Mrs. Krabappel: As you know, Bart, one day your permanent record
my friends: hannah, shyanne. my ex best friend nicole.and all those people who have bad lifes at home but shoose to be optimistic about it and be happyQuotes:"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to Love, and be Loved in return." ~Christian"I can't fall In Love with anyone." ~Satine"FRANK IS LIVING IN MY FOOT." ~Satie - the Composer ( ask me where, if you really want to know.)"Christian, You may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know about art and Love, if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being. ~Toulouse-Lautrec"We're creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to Love." ~Zidler"The French are glad to die for Love." ~Satine"Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with Love." ~Christian"How could I know, in those last fatal days, that a force darker than jealousy and stronger than Love... had begun to take hold of Satine." ~Christian"But no lie, however brilliant, could save Satine." ~Christian"A dance hall, a nightclub, a bordello. A palace of night-time pleasures, where the rich and powerful came to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the underworld." ~Christian"Got some Dark Desire? Love to play with fire?" ~Zidler"It's the boy. He has bewitched her with words." ~The Duke"She musn't know Marie -- The show must go on." ~Zidler"My heart aches completely every hour every day. And only when I am with you does the pain go away." ~Christian"This story is about Truth, Beauty, Freedom; but above all things, this story is about LOVE." ~Chistian