Nia**Maggie

You Know You're Portuguese When.... **Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name. **You have a rooster napkin holder. **Your father or grandfather is called Manuel, Jos?, Antonio, or Jo?o. **You have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dining room, living room, bedroom--on all your tables. **You decorate your walls with plates.**You warn other drivers of police on the highway by flashing your lights, even though one of the drivers might have just robbed a bank. **You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you might never go to church except for weddings and funerals. **You park on the sidewalk when necessary, even asking the person standing there to please move away. **You have a mobile phone and spend a small fortune on it, but think twice about going to the dentist. **You laugh at jokes about the Alentejanos but get angry to know that the same jokes are told in Brazil about the Portuguese. **You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the dreadful "gripe". And don't let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could happen to them. **You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book written in Brazilian Portuguese. **The last major military victory you can remember your country having was the Battle of Aljubarrota in 1385. **You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at learning foreign languages. **Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lack of money in the States. **Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family **You go crazy for the World Cup **You refer to Portugal as "O Continent" **You've walked in "as paradas" longer than you can remember **You have grape vines in your backyard **You earned over $10,000 for your first communion. **To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau au braz, baby! **A barbeque does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello! Can you say sardinhas? I'm talking rims, tints, a system... **A wooden spoon equals discipline, or if you ever had to duck so you wouldn't get hit with flying shoes, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~VIDEOS!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~