Bob's Your Knuckle profile picture

Bob's Your Knuckle

I am here for Friends

About Me

(As Transcribed from a Recent Conversation I Had With A Girl During a Speed Date)Oh my God. Wow...about me? Well...my name is Bob...and, yeah, I know...What About Bob? That's funny...ha, yeah...really funny...uh...wow. Okay...so what can I tell you that you don't already know? No, seriously...alright...here goes...I am...uhm...okay...I'm blushing a little bit. I don't normally talk about myself...ha ha...I'm actually nervous...so, you should feel honoured...no, seriously though...okay...alright, I got it, I got it. Uh...I went to school...and...oh God. Listen to me. "I went to school." Like...who didn't go to school? Seriously...I'm uh...anyway...wow. Ha ha! So...I guess you're asking yourself..."Do I come here often?" Huh? Ha ha! No wait...let's start over. My name is Bob...uh...Kerr...and uh...ha ha...listen to me. As if I just forgot my last name! No, really though. I uh...alright. Here goes. I was...I did a Harvey's commercial. Did you see it? It was...it aired last summer...for a couple of...I was doing this...hamburger wave thing...and uh...not saying that the commercial was...y'know, my claim to fame...I mean...I'm supposed to get fifteen minutes, right? A commercial is only like...what? Twenty seconds? So...I got fourteen minutes and forty seconds to go! Ha ha...and, listen to me. I'm rambling. So...did you see it? You had to...you look like you watch a lot of tele...y'know, I didn't mean like...y'know...in a bad way. I'm rambling, aren't I? Yeah. I get that from my father...he was a bit of a rambler. Y'know that song...what is it..."Ramblin' Man"...by the...it was done by the, yeah...the Allman Brothers. They're a great band. They're still playing, if you can believe that...I certainly can't. They've been around forever...ha ha! Obviously not FOREVER forever...just like...you get what I mean. Listen. I think you're really cool, and uh...I've never said this to someone I just met, but...I think that you're the most...oh! Three minutes already? Wow, huh? Where did the time go? Huh? Where? Let me check my pants. Ha ha! Kidding. Obviously. Okay...nice talking to you...if you just wanna...y'know, tick me off there on your little...ha ha, "love sheet"...and uh...I'll certainly be ticking you off...not that I'm, y'know, I'm still gonna have to talk to these other...broads. They're all ugly, if you ask me. In comparison to...right, okay. I'll see you--hi...I'm Bob, uh...Kerr. Ha ha! Listen to me. As if I just forgot my last name! Yeah...anyway...I don't talk about myself to often...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

People who can advance my career.

My Blog

We Are Growing Mad In Here

We are growing mad in hereThe jackals roam just south from hereThe restless souls of yesteryearHave taken fools for lessWe are growing mad in hereThe seconds tick louder in hereThe farewell and the sa...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 19:18:00 GMT

The Carnage of Theater Burton

There was a conductor,And his name was Cyrus Groan;His claim to fame was not his name,But his last masterpiece alone.He said "This song will kill you all,"And he glared at the bloodied sky.There was n...
Posted by on Sun, 11 Mar 2007 15:42:00 GMT

So The River Turned Red

The river ebbsThe dammit flowsThe midwife bledThe donkey crowsSo the river turned redSo the river turned redAll those knuckled chainsAll those blood motelsJagged windowpanesTell you there's no HellSo ...
Posted by on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:27:00 GMT

Goddammit, the Update

I knew this was going to happen. I got another request. This time, from a chick named Hector. HECTOR! First of all, I have broken a lotta promises in my life, but jerking off to a web-whore named Hec...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 19:09:00 GMT

Goddammit!

Did I rant about this before? I dunno. But GODDAMMIT! How many requests for friends do I get a week now that belong to some webcam whore? Seriously? And how many other people fucking fall for this bul...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 19:40:00 GMT

I Only Think Bad Thoughts When You Read My Mind

Hanging myself with my spine And my pockets are leaking sandI'm only levelling offWhat we need is a fetusTo treat us to WheatusTo trick and recede usBut I digressI only think bad thoughts when you rea...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 08:25:00 GMT

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary...

I guess I should preface this with an apology to some people. The central idea that I had around BloodShit was to write a section of his diary and post it every week. And in that turn, maybe gain some...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 22:01:00 GMT

Writing... The Truth...

I know. I know, I know, I know. I haven't been writing. Oh, man. It sucks. Why haven't I been writing, muthafucka? What's the deal? First off, I WILL return to the BloodShit Diaries. I promise. I'm gl...
Posted by on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:39:00 GMT

Bloodshit Diaries: Rolling Stone Interview

The interview for Rolling Stone didn't go well, by their standards. By mine, I thought it went great. Because I was in top form. Kenny Gibbons was a spineless dink who didn't know shit about shit, and...
Posted by on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 20:16:00 GMT

The BloodShit Diaries; Pt. 1

I woke up today in a fevered sweat. In the crux of my right arm, two syringes. In my left, five. All emptied. I was (and still am) afraid that one or several of these syringes were filled with nothing...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 17:08:00 GMT