Satan

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For the most part, people have the wrong impression of me. God and I used to throw down at the pearly titty bars back in the day. Shit, I was at Mary's baby shower. (who do you think gave Jesus his crown??) Granted, it may have been a bit thorny, but c'mon, get over it. He got what he deserved. God and I agreed way back in the day, heaven was his, Earth was mine. Over time, he backed out on his deal. So, I killed his only son.