naughty & nice profile picture

naughty & nice

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


WORDS WOMEN USE
"FINE"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
"FIVE MINUTES"
If she is getting dressed this is half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5
more minutes to watch the game before helping around the
house.
"NOTHING"
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something"
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with
"Nothing" usually end in "Fine".
"GO AHEAD"
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means
she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
"THAT'S OKAY"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to
think long and hard before deciding how and when you will
pay for your mistake.
"THANKS"
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just
say "you're welcome."
"WHATEVER"
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
No, she's not hard of hearing. She's just giving you a
chance to recant the stupid thing that just came out of
your mouth and to either escalate the conflict by saying it
louder (remember, you'll lose) or to come up with a clever
substitute that sounds pretty close to it (like instead of
saying, "That's why I hate you," you would say, "That's
why I dated you").
WARNING: If you try to use "Nothing" as a response, she
won't accept it.
Life should NOT be a
journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive
and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways,
chocolate in one hand,
martini in the other,
and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!"

My Interests

acronyms. sarcasm. mascara. typing in lower case. my new foldable bike. mc escher. eskimo kisses. maxim. high heels. shakin my groove thang. juicy pear jelly bellys. keeping the curls in my hair while maintaining softness (why is it so difficult???). ice cream- because purple has no bones.

I'd like to meet:


One of my most favorite people (as illustrated below)...
George Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If 'Air Force One' carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well,” said the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a f___ing accident either."

Music:

112, Elephant Man, India.Arie, Rachmaninoff, Erykah Badu, Ella Fitzgerald, Christina Aguilera, Beenie Man, Jill Scott, 2 Live Crew, Fiji, Ginuwine, Dave Brubeck, Tyrese, Keali‘i Reichel, Vivaldi, Louis Armstrong, Blu Cantrell, Na Leo Pilimehana, etc, etc, etc

Movies:

Life is Beautiful, Corina Corina, A Knight's Tale, Shawshank Redemption, Empire Records, Benny & Joon, Rain Man, Chocolat, The Sandlot, Casablanca, The Breakfast Club, The Princess Bride, Mrs. Doubtfire, Shine, A Beautiful Mind, Kindergarten Cop

Television:

Scrubs. The Simpsons. The Daily Show. Dharma & Greg, Living Single. Oblongs. Criminal Minds. Seinfeld. Boston Legal. City Confidential. Will & Grace. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The Nanny. MSNBC Investigates.

Books:

An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.
-Charles de Montesquieu

Heroes:

Stephen Hawking & the CEO of 3M- Post Its are the coolest