The Frenchies

8.43 a.m. Tuesday. Eurostar terminal, London. Rain.
A 30 years blond French girl arrives for the fist time at St Pancras. Joy, nerves, excitement and “will I ever have enough money to take the subway every day?” feelings engulf her.
She’s a singer. Quite famous in France, but a complete stranger to the English. She would like to meet an audience here, but they all skipped French at school, so she’ll have to sing in the native tongue. Unfortunately, she got a strong accent and doesn’t always understand what people say – nor they understand her.
Plus, she’s not exceptionally good at the guitar, though not completely bad either. She has a cool and sexy voice, but she’s not the only one, right? So definitely, she must find a way to become unique in vast London...
This is how, like a blinding light suddenly turned on in the bathroom of a cheap hotel at 5 a.m, the idea comes... she will use her French accent, with all these – apparently - cute and unappropriate words - making the effect of a strong medical drug for “vitality” on some indigenes - will become her POWER; not her weakness! (You know, like in Kung Fu movies.)
So she began to write English songs about her adventures in England and with English people. She also prepares a few covers of famous and unquestionably best songs of the English history like The Beatles, Depeche Mode and Daniel Bedingfield. She will try to translate some French famous songs that all English think they know but having no idea of their real meaning like Jacques Brel’s “Ne me quitte pas” –that is quite impossible to understand, by the way, even in French. And finally, she’ll try to improvise “litteraly translations” of her own poetic French songs, what, let me tell you, is a real pain in the ass.
She knows that English band are very obsessed in having a name in “The...” (The Smiths, The Streets, The Stones, The Sting...), so she will also have her band in “The” (please pronounce “Ze” in Franglais) and it will be “The Frenchies”, because like all good immigrants always do after a while, even when they promised not to, she intends to bring her whole musical family in London as soon as possible.
So be careful, England, The Frenchies is back from ages to conquer you !...