Born in France, I am a pig of the non-cooking variety. I was a truffle pig for many years until I was let go for consuming all of the truffles. I relocated to Manhattan where I took ballet class and left with some nice slippers. I was in and out of gangster living for a short while and still to this day I find myself at war with the chickens. I like eggs. I eat roast chicken too but I try not to eat burgers because those guys are pretty nice but they're tasty too so sometimes I eat them anyway. But I try not to. Then I moved to Vancouver and was chosen out of a line up by some tall chef. I tried to stay as still as possible but he chose me anyways, but then it turned out that he gave me to his sick girlfriend and so I was still of the non-cooking variety. I nursed her back to health and we watched a lot of animated films together and slept and ate in bed and she took me everywhere with her, including dairy queen. I am the king of the queen. They know me there. I love ice cream and sleeping and dancing and eating. I live in Montreal now above a place that makes croissants all day long and I eat them. And then I usually have a chicken sandwich and a bagel with cream cheese with my friend Steve. He smells like chicken sometimes and so we hang out. I like to go to the pool when it's hot out. I like donuts and I have used them as water wings before. I like the good life.
