Spaceboy

I'm really not sure how it all happened. One minute I was fighting a mob of evil clowns, and the next minute I'm here on the other side of the galaxy. Those clown bastards stuck it to me. I guess sending me here was the only way they could get me out of their hair.I grew up just like any average kid on my planet. Playing oobot with my childhood friends. Studying the art of Kung Fu Disco Voodoo in my teenage years. Pretty normal.My side of the galaxy is pretty much like this side, just a little more twisted, violent, and funky. The worst part of it was the Dark Clowns. We were always haunted by the evil menace and stink of the Dark Clowns. They are a sinister species. Evil to the core, their only joy is derived from the anquish of others. Just the thought of them sickens me to the bone.The clowns primary past time was to torment innocent people while they slept. Their stealth is unparalleled anywhere in the universe. A clown could be standing next to you right now, and you might not realize it. Late at night, they will stand beside your bed and subtly poke you with sharp sticks. Not enough to wake you, but just enough to give you horrifying nightmares. They haunted my civilization for thousands of years.Most people on my planet accepted this as a way of life. The clowns never actually would kill anyone, because they derived their joy from knowing that they deeply tramatized someone. Killing had no interest. Of course, unless you wandered into their territory. In that case, their murderous instincts took over and nothing could stop them.After I graduated from the school of KFDV, I set out to change all that. I decided to use my skills to rid the universe of those freakin' clowns.I battled them day and night, destroying entire colonies. Though the clowns fighting style is fierce, they were no match for the KFDV. I wiped them out almost effortlessly. And when one planet was clear, I moved onto the next.Before long, the Spaceboy was a bit of a folk hero in my sector. As I ridded the universe of this Dark Clown plague, my fame grew. However, my fame quickly came to and end when the clowns screwed me over big time.Somehow those bastards obtained some kind of device. I don't know what it was, but amidst a glorious battle, they unleashed it on me. It didn't kill me, but within a few seconds I found myself adrift in this solar system. Only by luck was I able to catch a ride on a passing spacecraft on its way to this planet. I figured I'd take some time off to check the place out, and then try to find a way back to my side of the galaxy to finish what I've started.Its sad to say, its been a few years and I haven't found a way back, so I've been forced to try to fit in and make the best of it. Even worse, is that I've found that there are "clowns" on this planet too. They aren't the evil Dark Clowns, though, just impersonators. Why anyone would impersonate such a sickening, filthy, evil species is beyond me. It only makes me want to get back home even more.

Vote Obama!

Doing my part to promote the cause of the Fro Army - check out Johnny H 2 0's latest comic - KFDV...
Spaceboy opposed this war before it began, but many republicans who pushed for the war now want to change their tune in a futile attempt to get re-elected. Well, here are some reminders of the results of their actions...
And that doesn't include the 20,000 americans wounded. Or the 300 billion spent. Or, the Iraqi civilians that paid the ultimate price:
Spaceboy has been boycotting Walmart for years now. Join the fight, and save your town from this plague on america: