Pimps & Dealers

In 1972 a commando unit on crack was sent to prison by a military court for crimes against little boys that they did commit but said they didn't. This is a lesson to us all. Admit your crimes, you'll get a shorter sentence...Anyway, back to the biography...Growing up in a coat with a hood, Fartboy Mc Fly had always found it tough to get by day-to-day on the streets. He was a simple man with a small beard and a cat who was a dab hand at landscape gardening and enjoyed only the odd delve into life's finer offerings...Yes: crack and bitch. This was all to change though when one day mutual acquaintance Bob (who, incidently, was later arrested on suspicion of sodomising the whole world) introduced Fartboy to Homeboy: the Homeboy Haines.A bond was formed and the two would hang out on street corners making rude faces at old ladies and toking on the rock. But the most important thing is how Fartboy was introduced to the world of music. You see Haines had previously been involved as a chorus member in the lord of the dance but had been thrown out for having sex with animals on stage during a November Sunday matinee performance.During his time there however, he had gained a command of rhythm. Fartboy was taught to beat box and guff in time whilst the Homeboy recruited a small gang of sweet lil' bitches to dance provacatively (at the old ladies). It was at this point that the Baron Devil burst on to the scene...The notorious bad-boy Baron had ben running like a renegade monkey for several years, using pseudonyms and aliases and hadn't stopped in his tracks longer than the time it took to shoot his shit. This changed one day when he passed Fartboy McFly and Homeboy Haines with their band of rubber-clad women and he was blown away by the power of their pulsating beat (and he thought the women were "worth a squirt").He started to beat out some rap he'd been working on and the boys loved it and simultaneously they ejaculated over the ladies, and Homeboy, in acceptance that the Baron Devil was now part of the crew.After the performance, they went back to Haines's for cheese, wine, tea, cake, crack and bitch and got talking. It became clear that all these years it was Haines's mum that had been chasing the Baron after he got a look up her dressing gown whilst on the floor due to a drunken falling incident.She asked him for $8,000,000, her normal fee, but being an addict, the Baron had no choice but to go covert and become the notorious renegade he now was. Homeboy decided there was only one thing that should be done next....