tommy profile picture

tommy

it's neither here, nor there

About Me

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

My Interests

dancing, but i don't go out as much as i used to. watching people on the street, there's a never ending supply of weirdos in manhattan. obscure movie quotes, well-done french fries, yankee games, running the brooklyn bridge, the billboards in times square, snow days, having drinks like a gentleman, playing asshole (the game) in the park, bar bets, friends with delusions of grandeur, graphic art, graffiti, traveling, the post, emo x-games in union square (seriously, if those kids could land more than a kick-flip, i'll eat my hat)

I'd like to meet:

people who like seinfeld and the wu-tang clan

Music:

hip hop- a tribe called quest, biggie, the rza as bobby digital, redman, the roots, gang starr, jurassic 5, keith murray, old nas, raekwon the chef. classic rock- led zepplin, pink floyd, steve miller band, the doors, the stones, the who, the police, the beattles, hendrix. house- bad boy bill, old frankie bones, scott henry, felix da house cat. drum and bass- j smooth, phantom 45, danny da wild child, jilly beanz, diesel boy, 1.8.7, aphrodite, soul slinger. i love breakbeats. nirvana, nine inch nails (i would love to meet the girl who messed that fool up!), alice in chains, bush, bob marley, the first pearl jam album r&b- janet jackson, old mary j, marvin gay, al green, disco, the ramones, punk, throw it at me. big band, sinatra, jerry dorsey, glen miller. jazz, blues, dizzy gillespie, robert johnson, mudddy waters, stevie wonder, i don't know any country songs, but i love watching southerners sing country karaoke in nashville bars, it's the best.

Movies:

true romance, i like godfather 2 better than 1, i like kill bill 1 better than 2, goodfellas, a bronx tale, american psycho, weird science, 4 rooms (especially the room with the misbehavors) batman (michael keaton) christian bale was pretty good, anchorman, seven, city of god, carlito's way, billy madison, happy gilmore, big daddy, fear and loathing in las vegas, caddy shack, anything with christopher walken- the man is a genius. from dusk til dawn, desperado, natural born killers, just one of the guys, shaun of the dead, devil's rejects (that rob zombie is a bad ass film maker), road trip, dark city, dr strange love (peter sellers is the man!), party monster (the book is much better), the doors, old school, the professional, jedi is the best star wars, clerks, mallrats, chasing amy (except the ending), anything with audry hepburn (i'm in love with her), all the vaction movies, ghostbusters, young frankestien, history of the world part 1, army of darkness and evil dead2, boogie nights, the royal tennebuams, life aquatic with steve zisso, devil's advocate, point break, 8 men out, pride of the yankees, reservoir dogs, king of new york, half baked, friday, 200 cigarettes, suicide kings, the count of monte cristo, scarface, blow, midnight madness, any givien sunday, lover boy, bachelor party (tom hanks used to be funny), fallen, psycho, dead presidents, how high, hero (jet li), sin city, anything with gary oldman, anything with luis guzman, airplane, johnny dangerously, made, swingers, elf, the big lebowski, dirty work, tommy boy, the opening scene in belly, the opening scene in blade, better off dead, one crazy summer, lock stock and 2 smoking barrels, snatch...

Television:

new york 1- anything jill scott is selling, i'm buying. seriously, besides my crush on her... if she doesn't win a pulitzer, then i'm boycotting that award.

Books:

shogun is by far the best book ever, kurt vonnegut, breakfast of champions, cat's cradle, bret easton ellis, american psycho, great expectations (i need a benefactor), the art of war, disco bloodbath-james st james, many lives many masters, count of monte cristo, the great gatsby, animal farm, cask of amontillado is my favorite poe story. bright lights big city, after hours/carlito's way. edwin torres, midnight in the garden of good and evil.

Heroes:

and this cat...