Lindsey - ProfilesArchive

About Me

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Lindsey Samuel Willis
Birthday: November 30th, 1981
Birthplace: Hollywood, CA
Current Location: Playa Del Rey, CA
Eye Color: Green/Hazel
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'2"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: European Mutt / Jewish / Honky
The Shoes You Wore Today: White on white AF1's
Your Weakness: Self-doubt
Your Fears: Roller-coasters, Costco, incarceration, success, debt, Whiskey shortages
Your Perfect Pizza: New York style bought by the slice
Goal You Would Like To Achieve in 2007: Finish a saleable/produceable feature-length screenplay
Your Most Overused Phrase: Big time
Thoughts First Waking Up: Mmmm, blood.
Your Best Physical Feature: Back and shoulder hair. Oh wait, BEST. Eyes.
Your Bedtime: 4:00 AM
Your Most Missed Memory: Teen magazine confetti with my sister circa 1988.
Pepsi or Coke: Splash of Coke with Maker's or Knob.
McDonalds or Burger King: In the battle of the $1 Double Cheeseburgers, my expanding gut is the true winner.
Single or Group Dates: First single, then double, then group. Same night. Works like a charm.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Paradise tropical sweetened with one pink, one blue.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, sexual if available.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Iced both.
Do you Smoke: Never around Sharon or my family.
Do you Swear: Only at myself and during heated sports video game matches.
Do you Sing: Most recent karaoke debacle - Hinder's "Lips of an Angel." It needs work.
Do you Shower Daily: Sometimes twice, albeit begrudgingly.
Have you Been in Love: Yes.
Do you want to go to College: I used to want to. Now I just go.
Do you want to get Married: When your parents divorce, your model for all relationships is tenuous. Undecided.
Do you belive in yourself: I have no reason not to. No.
Do you get Motion Sickness: No.
Do you think you are Attractive: Unibrows are in this season, no?
Are you a Health Freak: It is freakish that I am still alive.
Do you get along with your Parents: Swimmingly.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Like LIKE like.
Do you play an Instrument: Used to be guitar. Now I stick to skin flute.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Mostly Mark, some Johnnie, polished some Knob.
In the past month have you Smoked: Kiss me, I'm an ashtray.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I totally scored a lid of grass and smoked some marijuana.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Disneyland is beyond "date."
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Though I no longer work at one, I still managed to get to several.
In the past month have you eaten like a crazy fat whore: I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Why don't they just call the Philadelphia roll what they want to call it - the Kike roll.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Karaoke is my only real "hobby" at this point.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Still living on borrowed time.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: There's nothing skinny about anything I would be dipping. Except my penis.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I tax Lane daily for food and toiletries.
Ever been Drunk: Hurtling towards my likely battle with alcoholism. I think the odds are weighted for age 27.
Ever been called a Tease: Actually I have been called a "pussy tease."
Ever been Beaten up: My pride takes a beating daily. Have you seen my car?
Ever Shoplifted: "Your brother and I used to go down to the Safeway and get caught trying to steal donuts."
How do you want to Die: Violently at the hand of my closest companion, just so I can stumble back, look up in astonishment and mutter "Why?"
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Successful and content.
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan.
In a Baby
Favourite Eye Color: Hershey Kiss Brown
Favorite Hair Color: Black with a history of caramel highlights.
Short or Long Hair: Tumbling to the middle of the back, just longer than she wants it because she knows I like it that way.
Height: 5'2"
Weight: Whatever it is, it's perfect, and always has been.
Best Clothing Style:
Number of CDs I own: More than several not quite lots.
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of Tattoos: 0, although I can probably shave a tribal into my body hair.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: If I started counting, I'd be here all day.
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My Interests

Cupcaking, Knob-tastic Whiskey, Karaoke : Study and Performance, Film Noir and Crime Cinema, Energy Drink, Hating Sleep, Getting Huge, Being HARSH to People, Messing it, STUDYING, Dalla$, Not Going on Real Vacations, Looking Back on the Rough Patch, Frontin', Being a Good Son, Brother, Uncle, and Boyfriend.

I'd like to meet:

The Bumbo robs the boys of their spirit and vitality. Look, they're defeated.

My Blog

Poetry, Paul Mono Style

A charming note I received this week from a lifelong family friend and former boss : ***Ain't that like a typical fucking Jew sucking life outa someone else. What I'm bringing is yours at the game. I...
Posted by Lindsey on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 04:55:00 PST

"If you liked men you'd be LESS gay." - Lane Farnham RE: Me

The slide show set to popular music...that's pretty damn cupcake....
Posted by Lindsey on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 03:34:00 PST

Cupcakin'

TITLE SEQUENCESnippets from previously filmed "Cupcakin' with Lindsey" episodes spin across the frame as opening credits roll. Ralph Tresvant's "Stone Cold Gentleman" is the theme song. Episodes are d...
Posted by Lindsey on Wed, 28 Jun 2006 10:36:00 PST

Surely to offend more than a few...character voice people! (excerpt from "Interchange")

I/E. NORTH HEIGHTS HIGH SCHOOOL - DAYJavier pitches the prom party to pimply faced, impossibly virginal boys. JAVIER:You know there will be chicks. Impressionable, chubby sunburnt blonde girls with da...
Posted by Lindsey on Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:50:00 PST

Tagged (NOT in the ese, 5 Freeway sign, "CHAKA" sense)...

Rules:you need to write 6 interesting tidbits about yourself, at the end you need to write six people you're going to tag.From there you need to e-mail or leave a comment saying they've been "tagged" ...
Posted by Lindsey on Fri, 26 May 2006 07:31:00 PST

04.2001

In April of 2001 I sat behind a decent sized desk upon which sat a black on brass placard with my name and title on it. Thee tenth customer in as many days walked up to me and asked me if I spoke Fars...
Posted by Lindsey on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:12:00 PST

04.2000

In April of 2000 I sat in a dorm room at UCLA (a triple, for those that know how shitty that is) downloading "The Thong Song" off of Napster, frantically checking my email to see if she had replied to...
Posted by Lindsey on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:10:00 PST

04.1999

In April of 1999 I sat in a classroom at New York University while a cookie cutter professor (in full tweed jacket/arm patch regalia) extolled the virtues of a Tisch School of the Arts education. Not ...
Posted by Lindsey on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:07:00 PST

How To Sing Karaoke - An Upcoming Speech by Lindsey Willis

Topic: Singing KaraokeSpecific Purpose : To offer proven hints and suggestions on how to "kill" in live, public karaoke performance. Thesis : Winning over a loud, surly and challenging karaoke audienc...
Posted by Lindsey on Wed, 29 Mar 2006 07:41:00 PST

TEMPLATE by Tolson Willis(My Father)

TEMPLATEI have been resigned to sortingout the contents of an old beer boxfor most of the morningResolutely discarding the faded images of mysterious faces that have escaped reference Young women spor...
Posted by Lindsey on Mon, 20 Mar 2006 04:08:00 PST