Eric Zane - ProfilesArchive

About Me

AS WRITTEN BY FREE BEER AND HOT WINGS (My Co-hosts)Let's start with the good stuff. Zane is a loving husband and father of three adorable children. When he's around his children, it's the only time his common sense is able to overwhelm his alarming ability to be an ass. It's an understatement to say that Eric Zane is prone to over-reaction. Zane's reaction to everyday disagreements and interactions are roughly like trying to kill a fly with a nuclear bomb. His reactions to things could best be described as "knee-jerk". He doesn't think things through, as there are no consequences too great to make it worth quelling his emotional flashpoints. Also, Zane is fearless, which only adds to his desire to get attention in any way he can. Unfortunately, its this quality that makes him most likely to be fired in a blaze of glory after he told the boss that he should take a flying f--- at a rolling donut before he ever asks him to move out of the way again in the hallway. You see, Eric Zane has two forms of expression: silence and rage. So the question is, why all the pent up emotion? With a wife, three children and two dogs, he has no time to relax. The time he could use for himself is now taken up cleaning out the wrinkles in his Bull Dog's face. Zane is a paradox. He looks at Internet porn mercilessly, and will tell you about it on the way to church. He eats all the time, but is probably on the best shape of the three of us, presumably because the only thing he does more than eat is go to the bathroom to drop off Topeka Stink Pickles. He doesn't even have time to clean out his "ghetto" car, which is hopelessly filled with boogers and fingernails. Amongst his sea of anger, it's his humanity that makes him tolerable. No one we've ever met is more likely to have outrageous things happen to him and then be dumfounded as to how all these things could happen to one person. How would Eric Zane make his life and all of yours better? He'd return us all to a time when disagreements could be settled by an honest fist fight. No punching when someone's down. And winner walks away with the girl. Or, in Eric's case, pounds his pud while thinking of the girl.

My Interests

PA Pranks, Captain Stabbin, Dumber than Zane Trivia, Asking Stupid Questions

I'd like to meet:

Someone who's ass I can't beat or face I can't smash in.

Books:

I am not sure I can read

Heroes:

World Book Jim, Push Up Paul, Regular Mike, My Dad the Raging Alchoholic, The Hammer, Rob Fullmer

My Blog

Vacation

Just in case you didnt notice, we are on vacation this week. We will return next Monday.Today i am departing for my first annual pilgrimage to my motherland of Armenia. I will arrive in Ye...
Posted by Eric Zane on Tue, 25 Jul 2006 06:50:00 PST

$800 Bucks

Dumber than Zane is close to a record prize. I won today 7-6 in overtime, pushing next week's prize to $800.Tune in next Thursday at 7:30 to call in and see if you can beat me.Even though you ca...
Posted by Eric Zane on Thu, 06 Jul 2006 10:02:00 PST

Suspicious Minds

Sing along! Check out my main page for my performance ofSuspicious MindsWe're caught in a trapI can't walk outBecause I love you too much babyWhy can't you seeWhat you're doing to meWhen you don...
Posted by Eric Zane on Thu, 11 May 2006 03:37:00 PST

New Bulldog

I am getting a new bulldog!!!
Posted by Eric Zane on Fri, 05 May 2006 11:04:00 PST

How F'in cute is my dog Lola?

Hey all you listeners go check out the video of Joe racing my dog Lola in a dog food eating contest.Lola didnt even have to eat and she won.Joe was defeated.So how F'in awesome is my dog?Look at how h...
Posted by Eric Zane on Thu, 09 Mar 2006 08:09:00 PST

Dumber than Zane Fantasy Baseball, for all you nerds

After talking about window licking Vince Young the other day and how nerds are taking over sports... I decided to take it back for the common man like me, Eric Zane.So I am making a fantasy base...
Posted by Eric Zane on Wed, 01 Mar 2006 02:39:00 PST

Winning streak done

I lost today. Some guy named Kyle smashed my face in. I thought a marlin was a mammal. Apparently it isnt. We go to DJ camp, so you losers better listen to the Best of shows Th...
Posted by Eric Zane on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 04:09:00 PST

Challenge Games and Hot Wings rape

I am freakin pissed. We tried another challenge game today and it sucked. We had such a great run but I think we have outgrew the challenge games. Why wont people answer their phones...
Posted by Eric Zane on Wed, 15 Feb 2006 09:07:00 PST

700 bucks!

Hey all you f'en losers. I owned another ahole on Thursday. I am going to win every week for the rest of the year. 700 bucks on the line next Thursday. I cant be beat!
Posted by Eric Zane on Sat, 11 Feb 2006 02:42:00 PST

4 week Winning streak hell yeah

I have been totally dominant at Dumber than Me for like a whole month. What is wrong with all you losers? Its that I am better than you all. The a-hole today didnt even know the diff...
Posted by Eric Zane on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 05:25:00 PST